| | Does anyone ever feel 'blocked'?what is this curse?? PLEASE PRETTY PLEASE REPLY!
HI! arghh, im so glad to see ppl like me out there, it's really extremely hard to find ppl to relate to! my problem is this block which is pretty much constant aside from a few instances, the most being during a high some time back. Like expecially with my boyfriend, i get BLOCKED! i can't feel or see him, like even acknowledge he is there???I thought perhaps he's not the one for me,but then suddenly in the high i LOVED him soooooo much, and sometimes the block leaves and i adore him,,,but then it returns and i don't feel ANYTHING...and it's so frustrating, cos i dumped him once for this...well several times, and suddeny I MISS HIM...is it just attachment?oh gosh, this is killing me! u think it's hard for the bipolar significant other...it's miserable for the one suffering from the disease
like im so flippant...between commitment phobia,detachment,anger, suddenly loving him so much,BLOCK(nothing is reality)...it's so confusing? do i even love him? i am so confused??if i don't, why do i seek him first, why do i get depressed when he leave me, why do i sometimes look at him and think im so lucky and think he;s adorble and love him and other times, i cna't comprehend that he's a peron with feelings?
would u believe he once proposed to me? well initially i even encouraged it, cos i wanted it...here and there...then just before he did it, i was so excited then as he did,felt nothing..like a play...then a week later i returned the ring...and then suddenly when he was upset i couldn't SEE it or feel it...he pinched my skin and said 'the way it hurts u when i pinch u....it hurts me too'...words made sense...but hey my emotions don't work?????i mean even if he were an acquaintance, should i not feel sympathy
and then suddenly i go for vacation, and i am DYING without him, daydream...HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLP
is anyone PLEASE ANYONE living with this wretched reality??
i sometimes want him to LEAVE!!this is too hard! cos whaat if im mking this up,and i just don't love him, but sometimes inside I KNOW I DO!!!!! and i don't wann be with anyone else...but sometimes i think maybe i do,but don't know it and he SHOULD leave me...
HELP!!!BIPOLAR=END OF ME!!!
he's been so understanding and now when i think of him...i feel so grateful and content....WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?????
Last edited by Pinkstardust; 03-27-2006 at 04:35 PM.