| | New to this.
Hi, I am new to posting on a board and new to confronting my illness. I was diagnosed as bipolar in my earlier twenties. Back then I partied alot and drank too much and hung out with the wrong crowd. I couldn't find my identity. Then the episodes began. It was so terrible the way all of my friendships seemed to disintigrate, and no amount of alchohol or drugs would help.
Towards my late twenties, I decided to get close to family I hadn't been around in years. So I moved to be close to them and get my life back on track. Being in a small college town, I thought I could start going to college and get things figured out. I thought as long as I stayed away from drugs and alchohol I would be alright. But it isn't so. I couldn't stay away from them because I felt lonely and quick and easy friendships arose from them.
I crashed again into another episode. My family is very concerned and worried, and I don't know how to communicate to them without feeling deep regret for the pains I have caused them. It feels like I am trapped by my own illness and deceit. Thankfully, they still love me and I love them and I am continuing on. I started taking the medication again, and thankfully I still have a job.
But I feel alone. I suppose because of our illness it's hard for us to form support groups that meet, and maybe that's for the best. But I suppose I need to hear from people that share my frustrations and problems, and I want to share some of the tools I have found in dealing with my illness. I hope the best for us all.