I was just wondering if I could have bipolar. My counsellor wants me to see a psychiatrist to maybe find out. I am dx with major depression and anxiety.
When I read about bipolar I see some simularities with myself. I go through periods of time where I become obsessed with something. Once it was genealogy. I was glued to the computer and could not seem to get off. I would get really angry if anyone interuppted me during my research. I found like about 1000 people on my tree.
For a while I was addicted to solitaire where I had to play it until I won three times in a row which is impossible so I would just play for hours on end without stopping. I was convinced that if I could win three times in a row that it was a sign from a higher power. hard to explain.
I once wrote a proposal for a child care organization for a special needs program. I worked on it for like two weeks straight and would not leave the computer to do anything. I ignored my kids and family. I did not even work for this organization. They ended up using my proposal and got funding.
My point is when I get a intrest I cant seem to let it go. Then I get burnt out and really depressed after.
I get really hyper-focused on an activity and then cant sleep because its all I think about. I also get really agitated a lot. When I feel like that I hate it when my husband asks me simple questions. I get mad and say "dont ask me questions!!!".
Most of the time I just feel really depressed or agitated. I am taking seroquel that my dr. gave me for my agitation.
I have had hallucinations and delusions but only once when I was really really stressed. I thought the sun was falling from the sky and was convinced the world was coming to and end.
It doesn't sound like you have a "classic" case of bipolar disorder. (if that is actually what you have) There is a Mood Disorder quiz you can take. You can find it online, I forgot where but just google Mood Disorder Quiz and you'll get to it eventually.
By first glance it looked to me like you are experiencing more OCD than bipolar but of course your psych will be able to tell you more. Do you have an appointment with one yet? Remember, if you do not like the 1st one, go find another one who will not only listen to you, but actually pay attention and remeber what you said.
One tell tale sign is your sleep patterns. How are you sleeping?
I can see the agitation being mania, but the obsessions, I am not too sure. If you have been going at them for hours, which you are, then thats a sign of mania. It is the obsessions that contradict the bipolar. Maybe its a mix of bipolar of OCD. Definately talk to your psychiatrist/therapist about this.
OMG! You sound JUST like me! I have never heard of anyone else describe how they must play Solitaire daily until they win (or that they think that winning means that God will give them good luck), or that they can't sleep when they're obsessed with something! If you have what I have, then you're not bipolar, even though you may have some symptoms that mimic it. By any chance, do you feel like you need to know everything about a certain subject when you become obsessed with it, that you have a need to memorize trivia about it? Is it all that you can talk about, and you'll try to bring it up in any context just to be able to talk about the particular subject? Do you find that, when you have trouble sleeping during these obsessive periods, that you have a sort of "excited panic attack," and the only way to get rid of the anxiety is to go pursue the obsession, whatever the method may be? If so, then I think that you might be experiencing a combination of what I have: OCD and Asperger's. In fact, I just went through one of my "obsessive periods" this week. I bought a new video game, and I couldn't rest until I beat it, I had to keep going on the other forum I frequent so I could reach 2000 posts, and when I tried to study, I couldn't focus because I just felt antsy. It's not simply a "lack of willpower," like we can just stop whenever we want. No, it's much more than that. Like, I'll literally waste hours on that other forum because I can't leave until I'm the last poster on each of my main topics, and since many people respond at once, this may take hours. As for the video game thing, I actually slept restlessly on Wednesday night, woke up at three-thirty, and began playing it again, and like you, once I beat it, my interest burns out, and it's just like anything else. The same with music, the same with movies- I'll have to watch/listen to the same thing over and over until my brain stops pummeling me with the images and the sounds. Once this "bubbly", obsessive period is over, then I can relax. Actually, your post also helped me because I felt guilty this past week over not really working as hard academically as I normally do, but I so see now that this was my OCD/Asperger's. So, yes, I, too, experience the guilt you do (just went through that yesterday because I had a test I thought I should've studied more for). I'm on the mood stabilizer Lamictal, which has helped me immensely. If you have any questions, feel free to ask! I'd like to know more to see if you truly do have what I have. God bless!
"Not everything that steps out of line, and thus 'abnormal,' must necessarily be 'inferior.'"
Last edited by GatsbyLuvr1920; 04-15-2006 at 10:23 AM.