Ok, Im just learning that I am out of control in a Bipolar mania or whatever, and I will be going to hospital tomorrow and im not that knowledgable about bipolar.
I had quuite an episode earlier and I have had 2 docs tell me I might have BP, well Im sure I have it noe. At first I didnt think so cuz I was addicted by a doc, to major oxycodone. I came off that cd on 300mg to 500mg a day.
Im still on a huge dose of xanax and i only take that at night.
I used to tramadol to help restless legs got addicted to that and have spent the last 7 days cold turkeying that.
So tonight i had a doozy of a panic induced Im pretty sure cycle or whatever we all them. I have finally calmed down. I have every symptom of bp and have just had enough of all of this and am willing to go to er til i get a pyschiatrist appt soon.
Bad thing is this easter I have to drive with my husband 8 hours to see my kids cuz my bro and wife took my kids for the last 3 months of school til we got on our feet.
And Im scared I wont be able to function cuz this thing has taken over me.
And all I want is to be normal get a job and wait for my kids to come home when schoold over.
Well is huge pupil dilation part of bp?
When espeacially u arent on any drugs?
My symptoms are these below and Im sure its Bp but theres so many I dont know what kind.
Im gonna die all the time
Every pain which I have different reallllll ones every where.
i just know Im dying
But also I know its panic
im tired of worrying about dying every minute
I talk, so fast that i stutter and I will talk for hours sometimes and my husband cant get me to shut up.
I get on a roll
Total presseureed speech
When I get in this frenzy I loose control of thoughts and my thoughts feel choppy, IM totally not in this world, Disconnected and surreal feeling.
I feel overly energetic but in a bad way like OH MY GOD INSIDE IT FEELS LIKE IM GONNA EXPLODE AND MY BODYS SCREAMING
Pace,pace, talk freaking out
I have total inrealistic dreams of where I wanna be and how Im gonna do it.
Cant ever sleep.
Unless Im on xanax and thats starting to not work
And Im huge dose
No energy when I wake.
But it drives me nuts being messy but, I dont know how to get going on cleaning it all up.
which I eventually do.
pulse is always around 100
Heart palpatations, sometimes to where theres no heart beat and all is just beating outta chest
rACING THOUGHTS, CONSTANTLY
CANT REMEMBER WHY I JUST WALKED INTO ROOM
WHEN IM REAL BAD I START STUTTEREING, OH I HAVE NEVER STUTTERED IN MY LIFE (NEW SYMPTOM) STARTED 6 MONTHS AGO
and im 33
Just always feeling outta control and the im dying
Motor movements sometimes are choppy and im knocking things off counters or not talking right.
which is embarasssing
cant grab something without trying 3 times sometimes
Thats when I get bad
Usually always disconnected feeling (always)
And Im sorry if im hogging up here but Im stressed and have just calmed down and Im giving in tomorrow before i have to go see my children for easter. Im scared to go.
So Im going to Er and saying hey plz help til i get an appt.
I dont know what to do. But the worst thing that bugs me and im not on anything is My eyeballs are usually huge and black
Is this part of Bipolar?
Plz anyone, anyone answer anything u can plz
plus my legs feel like aliens are always crawling thru my calfs.
I love this board and i love ya all.
All my love,
And God Bless you.
Please respond someone quickly
Ps. Latley Im always yawning way to much even if Ive slept for 9 hours, Im mean yawning every 2 minutes and cant stop for hours and its driving my poor husband to yawning, haha, ya know its contagious but, I cant help it. thats a new symptom by the way.
Ok God Bless u all.
Happy Easter or whatever beleif u may have!