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Old 04-17-2006, 07:15 PM   #1
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madolyn HB User
Coffee please

Sometimes I wonder how I'm going to get through another day with my daughter. I try to understand her and be a support system for her, but I often find that I too need support. How can someone be so mean - so hateful - so full of animosity one minute and the next minute be lovable, funny and charming?
Tonight she asked me for money to get coffee. I gave her my last $2.00. Instead of her saying, "thank you", she got mad because that was hardly enough for a cup. I told her that was all the money I had and perhaps she should look for a job if she wanted more than I was able to give her. She went into this rant about how it was my fault that she didn't have a job - I should help her get one (she quit the last two she had after a couple days). I should have never had kids if I couldn't afford to give them money and if I want her to get a job she would become a prostatute. With that she stormed out of the house dressed like she was looking for a street corner.
We are going to visit the college she wants to attend this week. Its a ten hour drive. I wish I could say I feel real good about sending her away to school. The school gave her a nice incentive package, but she expects us to pay for everything else....she should invest nothing.
I question myself so much in dealing with her...what is the right thing to do and ....is there a right thing? I know I don't want to be stuck in a car for ten hours with a teenager that becomes verbally abusive at the drop of a hat. Her behavior tonight reminds me of her last manic episode...and that one lasted four months.
Thanks for listening, I guess I just needed to vent.

Madolyn

 
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Old 04-17-2006, 07:28 PM   #2
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faithie HB User
Re: Coffee please

Unfortauntly, your daughter is showing the truth behind bi-polar disorder. I was the same way for a while until I began seeing a psychologist and a psychologist and being put on the right combinatino of medication. With bi-polar, we have a difficult time with controlling our emotions and behaviors because they come so rapidly. Most of the time before we even know what we are feeling the emotion is gone and we've moved onto another one. When dealing with bi-polar, I recommend doing as little as possible. She is going to have severe mood swings and love you one minute and wish you dead the next, that is the nature of the beast. Calmly let her know that she is having a mood swing and she is being ...... (insert here: rude, angry, mean, belittling, whatever it may be) and until she is able to talk to you like the person you are and calm down you are not going to have anything to do with her. That sounds very harsh, I know, but it saves you and her a huge headache. Also, if she is in one of those horrible moods, leave the room, leave the house, do whatever you have to do in order to stay away from her. It is better not to argue with someone when they are having so many moodswings because no matter what you say they believe they are right. The best way to cope with this is to get her the proper medical attention and research and understand exactly what bi-polar is and how it affects the person with it so you can better decide on how to handle certain situations. I was diagnosed with bi-polar almost 4 years ago and I have been through it all so feel free to ask me questions if you'd like. I hope this helps you at least a little. Like I said, sometimes what I said seems harsh, but it really is better for you and her at the same time until her condition can be controlled better.

 
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