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lynelle101 · 04-19-2006, 01:53 PM

Okay I already know it's not good to do, but does anyone have the feeling that when you come down from a manic episode that your so down you have no feelings that you feel like cutting just to feel the adrenaline rush so that you can feel alive! This happens to me frequently or when I just feel numb like Saturday night nothing wrong really I don't even know why but I did I don't even remember doing it I just remember my husbands face and a discussion about it. I do tell my pdoc everything we are working through it, but am I alone in this? Please keep in mind that this is all really knew to me not the feelings and the wierd behaviors but expressing them so don't be to hard or critical please Thanks for any comments best wishes Lynelle

lynelle101 · 04-20-2006, 12:58 PM

Anyone else have this problem??????

smartgal · 04-20-2006, 01:06 PM

I've read some articles that mention this. I've never been severely manic, so don't know so much about that side of it. I'm sure you are not alone in this, but maybe no one here has experienced it?

Just recognizing why you do it is a step in the right direction.

lynelle101 · 04-20-2006, 02:11 PM

I appreciate your response

sarahbear2555 · 04-21-2006, 03:55 PM

I used to do that too. My pdoc calls it a mixed state. It's like you have all the energy and rapid thoughts of a manic episode but you're really depressed at the same time. It used to make me feel as though I was litterally loosing my mind. It could have been the smallest thing that set me off. Like if my boyfriend didn't call me when I thought he was going to. I would start to think that he was cheatting on me...the thoughts would just go on and on. I would get so worked up that I would take a razor and cut my wrists. There was something really calming about seeing the blood. I know it might sound a little weird. I tell you this so you don't feel alone. I know what it's like.
Are you seeing a doctor? I think that it would be a really good idea for you to see a psychiatrist and maybe get on some meds. I can't imagine cutting now that I've been in treatment for a year and a half. I never thought that I could feel good but now I do. Good luck, let me know if I can help you with anything else. Good luck,
Sarah

lynelle101 · 04-21-2006, 04:43 PM

Sarah,
First thank you for making me feel somewhat normal well you know as normal as possible. I am seeing a pdoc every week and I am doing a diary card with her and writing everything down so we can work through this. I do take meds but we are presently still tweaking them. This is all still kinda new to me since Nov. so maybe it will take time.. Thank you again Lynelle

sarahbear2555 · 04-22-2006, 11:06 AM

That's good that you're writting in a journal. That was very helpful for me. After I wrote everything down for a few months I started to see a patern in my mood. My swings usually started around the time of my period. I would become manic two weeks before and then one week before I would get really really depressed. It was interesting. Anyway it's good that you're keeping a mood journal. Like I said it's really helpful.
Sarah

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