This is something I have done. It is horrible.
When I have been manic I have done this numerous times. Taken away, given away, or thrown away precious items that belonged to me. Why? I am not sure and wished I could figure this one out. It is baffling.
There are so many times when I will search and look for something in our storage room, closet and house trying to find 'it' and either realize that 'oh yes, I disposed of it way back when when I was severely manic' or 'gave it to so-so because of I was so stuck in a delusional state'. DH has tried to stop me from doing this he has told me and has said he has argued with me, but explained that when I have been like 'this' that there is no way of arguing with me because I am so difficult to deal with. It makes me feel awful.
And, the worse part about it is most of the things I have given away were things that were given to me as gifts from family members or friends who mean a lot to me. Then again, if I look at life: Things are things and people are what matter most in life. The time we spend with people is what really matters. It is the guilt I have of doing what I did.
Can't go backwards. Can only go forward. I just hope and pray I don't do it again. (I did it again in September of this year though. Hopefully that will be the last time. I had no idea I was sick either until a few weeks later when hubby pointed it out.)
Thanks for listening.