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Old 05-18-2006, 11:20 AM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 664
coffeegirl2 HB User
Have you ever cleaned your closet out and realized things were missing?

This is something I have done. It is horrible.

When I have been manic I have done this numerous times. Taken away, given away, or thrown away precious items that belonged to me. Why? I am not sure and wished I could figure this one out. It is baffling.

There are so many times when I will search and look for something in our storage room, closet and house trying to find 'it' and either realize that 'oh yes, I disposed of it way back when when I was severely manic' or 'gave it to so-so because of I was so stuck in a delusional state'. DH has tried to stop me from doing this he has told me and has said he has argued with me, but explained that when I have been like 'this' that there is no way of arguing with me because I am so difficult to deal with. It makes me feel awful.

And, the worse part about it is most of the things I have given away were things that were given to me as gifts from family members or friends who mean a lot to me. Then again, if I look at life: Things are things and people are what matter most in life. The time we spend with people is what really matters. It is the guilt I have of doing what I did.

Can't go backwards. Can only go forward. I just hope and pray I don't do it again. (I did it again in September of this year though. Hopefully that will be the last time. I had no idea I was sick either until a few weeks later when hubby pointed it out.)

Thanks for listening.

a loving heart is the truest wisdom

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Old 05-18-2006, 12:29 PM   #2
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Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Winnipeg, Canada
Posts: 944
kitkat77 HB User
Re: Have you ever cleaned your closet out and realized things were missing?

Interesting post. I had a gf years ago in high school who was constantly giving me things, even her most expensive clothing! I refused several times (believing she was trying to "buy" my friendship) but she wouldn't take no for an answer. Rather than have her badger me any longer I would finally accept the gift. Years later it was discovered that she suffers from BPD..... Now after reading your post I can link the two together!

Old 05-18-2006, 01:29 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 664
coffeegirl2 HB User
Re: Have you ever cleaned your closet out and realized things were missing?

Last fall I gave a ton of my clothes to my mom (1/2-3/4 of my clothes and expensive ones at that) because I've gained weight on Abilify. Instead of saving them like most normal people would do- I flaked out one day and loaded them up in the car, drove to her house, and dumped them off. She didn't think anything of me being sick.

So goes life being bipolar. It effects everyone around the person who has the illness I think.

a loving heart is the truest wisdom

Old 05-20-2006, 01:47 PM   #4
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 664
coffeegirl2 HB User
Re: Have you ever cleaned your closet out and realized things were missing?

Abilify is a weight neutral drug. Weight neutral means the drug can make a persons weight a) remain the same b) gain or c) lose. Usually with Abilify most people tend to lose weight. There is another website forum where many others who have BP who are on Abilify where they have also gained weight with the drug. So, I'm not alone with that subject. It occurs more frequent than people realize.

When I was put on the Abilify I specifically asked about that question with the pdoc- "Will I gain weight?" He told me no. And did not explain what weight neutral meant at that time but said it was a weight neutral drug. So, 2 years later I talked to the tdoc about it, and he explained what weight neutral's definition is. Now it makes sense why some people gain weight on the Abilify and others lose weight on it and some people stay the same.

a loving heart is the truest wisdom

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