coffeegirl2

Today has been a humbling and day of learning. DH again, has left for another business trip (5th one in 6 months I think-too many to remember) and like usual, it has our sons in a typical uproar. They miss their dad and don't want him to go, and what child wouldn't?

So, their mood went from happy-go-lucky yesterday to anger, grouchy, whiney, and very sad all morning long. Son with ADHD has been super aggressive and having lots of outbursts. It is a usual occurance when DH goes on trips. I am now growing accustom to it, only it is very hard to cope with, especially if he harms his brother, like he did today. They have been and are in counseling, and it helps. Somedays I just feel like a failed mom. Today is one of those days.

Then there is my mom. She doesn't understand the dilemmia with our sons. She tries to at times, then scrutinzes them at other times. It is a toss up on which day she is going to be supportive. This weekend my DH got fed up with my whinining about my mom and told me to grasp a hold of reality. He is right. Some things in life you just can't fix, and advice a few others have also shared with me before. So, let go of it and her too. Enjoy my mom if she is around, and let it be what the relationship is. She will never understand the mental illness, and will always judge me for it, and continue with her insults about it. So, why subject myself to all of that when I can avoid it? I can be in her prescence periodically or at limited times with the boys one-one with less stress involved. Those are ideas DH gave me.

Sometimes when a person is BP they have to take a step back and look at themselves to comprehend the situation.. Then things are much clearer and make so much more sense. As for me, that is the only way I am able to do things, otherwise, everything is so mushy and melted together, hard to understand.

Thanks for listening.

Coffeegirl

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a loving heart is the truest wisdom