Wanted Advise from Non-Bipolar's & Bipolar's - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

kiehn · 05-31-2006, 07:33 PM

Im bipolar as many here are, but there are also many that arent who have bipolar oved ones etc. I doing this for my husband who wants idea to help me and thought maybe others might benefit as well. Any and all idea's or suggestions (no matter how small, silly, strange, etc) are welcome from all those who are either BIPOLAR or Non-Bipolar and what they find most helpful when the cycling begins. Thanks Kiehn

Hedgehog No 1 · 06-01-2006, 04:53 AM

Hey K,

Carol's way of dealing with me whenever I am ill, is to pack me off to bed until I feel better. She reasures me that all the jobs are getting done and there is nothing to worry about or to get up for.

As to how she copes with me is another matter - she just does...

She knew from when we first met that I was mentally ill, so I guess that helped as she knew what she was letting herself in for. A bit like Mr and Mrs 'ruth'.

As for offering advice on how to cope with a partner that is ill (in any way) my advice would be to learn everything about the illness, that helps with the understanding of the ill persons moods. Carol understands how I get when I'm ill as much as, if not better than, me sometimes.

Hope it helps,

Hedge

bpd_bipolar · 06-01-2006, 07:29 AM

Greetings. Well, advice........

My boyfriend and I are both BiPolars (I also have BPD and he has ADHD), so we take care of one another differently depending on who is having what problem on that particular day. We king of wing it so to speak, but there has been a few constants that have worked for us.

When I am having a depression moment, he tells me things will be alright and he tries to show me the bright side of the situation (example, when my aunt killed herself, I cried and he held me and told me that even though I would miss her, she would always be with me. It slowly calmed me down while he just held me, but telling me things were going to be alright made them that way for me, I just let him guide me). Now when he is hitting depression things are different. He can't be calmed and relaxed because of his ADHD so I take a different approach, I talk with him and take his mind away from things. Changing the subject from thing to thing to keep him on the ball and always thinking.

I know that everyone is different, but I hope this helped a little.

coffeegirl2 · 06-01-2006, 07:31 AM

Kiehn

This is what happens at our household when the cycling begins. DH usually tells me I need to visit a local coffeeshop (alone) to journal during the daytime if the boys are in school. If it is summertime, he sends me away during the evening to get away for a few hours. Or he sends me away to the gym to work out so I can fend off my frustration and/or depression.

DH has also put me into 'time out' and has sent me to the bedroom before when I've became out of control before, explaining to me that it is time to calm myself down. Then telling me I am not able to come out until I've calmed myself down.

And, the debit/credit cards have been put up at times, depending on the severity of the situation. Only cash has been given to me at various times. Hubby knows me very, very well and knows my limits and swings.

Hope this helps. Take care Kiehn.

Coffeegirl

kiehn · 06-01-2006, 10:02 AM

Wow sounds like you all have wonderful understand supportive partners.

Hedge, Carole sounds like an angel, I hope you treat her like one! Thanks for the advise, I always enjoy hearing stories about you and Carole, from way yonder across the sea! : )

Bpd, Wow, all I can say is I commend you and your boyfriend. You right different measures work for different people even if the dx is the same. For me when my husband tries to change the subject, it infuriates me because I feel like he's ignoring my cries for help, but hugs sure do help. Thanks for your advise, it really helps to hear how others cope and support. Kiehn

Hey there Coffeegirl,
Now your comments brought a smile to my face, being sent to your bedroom, sometimes I probably could use that myself. I do like the idea of just getting away.
Oh yes, Im a total disaster when it comes to the checking account/debit card.
Thanks for sharing it's much appreicated, take care, Kiehn