what do you buy when you over spend? - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

fallen_angel · 07-14-2006, 02:28 PM

hey all
i read an article in a magazine about excessive spenders and it said that women who do this normally buy things that they think will boost their self image, such as clothes, shoes and jewellery. They gave the reason as low self esteem. i can relate to this as these are the exact things ive bought when ive been over spending. i have thought to myself at the time that the things will make me look better and change my life in some way and this is when my mind has raced and ive felt the urgency to buy.I always get like this when i make my mind up about having to buy something, but i dont get a buzz from buying just anything, its normally things to wear although i never end up wearing most of them. i just hang them in the wardrobe as im worried that i'll mess them up if i wear them as i hate the feeling of loss.
can anyone else bipolar relate to this? its just a lot of people that over spend on here have spoken about just needing to buy anything or getting urges to give money away or make bad investments. ive never done this although i did pay for my friend to come on holiday to the caribbean with me once and have also bought friends expensive things on my credit cards which i wouldnt do normally.
im sure my diagnosis is correct from my mood swings etc but does it sound like the over spending could be down to something else or is it manic behaviour? its this that has ruined my life more than anything else and im desperate for my treatment to keep it under control

Strawberry.hill · 07-14-2006, 03:10 PM

I don't think this is part of Bipolar. I was thinking just that a few days ago. You should see the movie "In Her Shoes". One of the girls saw that her sister had tons of new beautiful shoes in her closet, and asked why she had them all if she didn't even wear them. Her sister said that sometimes she feels like treating herself and clothes never fit right, shoes always fit, so they make her feel good. She did not wear them because she was afraid to ruin them.
I found that I buy shower gels and lotions because I want to feel pretty, I want to feel feminine, (which I am not good at). I feel fat, so clothes just frustrate me. Besides I can't wear them here.
When I was home I would buy sneakers, and then I was very careful because I did not want to get them dirty, I would stress over keeping them clean. I had designated ones that were already dirty beyond recovery, so I could do yard work in them.
But yes, I buy tstuff because I think it gives me a boost in self image. I also bought some undies in the mail form Victoria's Secret. They had a sale lately. I wanted to feel sexy for my hubby.
Yes, I have a hard time with this, but what I do, is I set my allowed spending money before I get to the web site. like, "I'm not going over $50". ( And that was because I need bras; My pills are making my bobbies large and my bras hurt). But as you see, I can make excuses very well too.
I also appointed myself as gift provider. My husband just leaves it up to me to get gifts for family when it's a birthday or holiday. That is so fun, but I do set the spending limit also before I go to the site.
I think I just love shopping, I'm sure it could get out of hand if I was not careful.
Well, meybe this will make you laugh a bit:
I got a call from the Joint Mail Terminal here earlier. A staff Sergeant called to ask about a case. I was talking to him and he asked my name again. I told him, and he said, "I have a package here for you, it came in, but we are holding it, it's been set aside for security purposes. It made the machine beep, what did you order?" I told him, "if it beeped, I don't want it, it's panties! they are not supposed to beep." He must've fallen over laughing. He asked if there was anything with battries in there, I told him my undies do not need batteries. We had a good laugh. Then he said he was just kidding, I figured that much. But I was serious, I am expecting undies. I told him that, I hope he doesn't have the urge to inspect the package more thoroughly. (ha).
Hope I made you smile
Strawberry

mommaboyz · 07-14-2006, 03:47 PM

I do tihis also. BUt its not too much with clothes for me. Its Gymboree clothes for my daughter which are very expensive and I like to buy dogs yes the real ones. I hate it but I do then I am stuck taking care of them among myself and family which is so not fair to the animals even though i do take proper care of them. Im hoping to get this under control too.

Strawberry.hill · 07-14-2006, 03:52 PM

Mommaboyz: I remember you just bought a little dog lately, how is he?
Just wondering

whitewingdove · 07-14-2006, 11:13 PM

i do this too and i buy lots of clothes and even a $300 dog that i didn't need. i am compulsive about it and it's very hard to get under control but i'm working on it. i am so in debt coz of it and barely scraping by but still overspending with every penny i get. ne suggestions?