When we are told we have Bipolar Disorder,that is the time we need to begin stability - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

twoeyez · 07-14-2006, 06:40 PM

This is a continuation of my last thread " Can Age be a positive factor in dealing with bipolar episodes ?

So many times we our so involved with the what and how of bipolar disorder, that we lose track of what we really want to do about it. Oh, I don't want to play down the problems and frustrations that the disorder carrys. It is just important to point out that there are ways to deal with it on a postive basis.We hear so much about how it just can't be dealt with. The negtive over tones.

Can we here about how we are going to come up with a game plan to develope a "stiblity for "Life" ?

Eyes

goody2shuz · 07-14-2006, 07:21 PM

Hi, Eyes

I was just talking about this with my 15 year old daughter today who is yet to be stabilized. She tells me she doesn't want to be on meds.....she knows that she is depressed and sees no way a med will make her feel like she was when she was 11 years old. That is the time that she identifies as remembering being happy and feeling good.

I told her that we have to be proactive about ourselves and knowing that with the right med she will feel like she once did when she was 11 years old.

You are a wise man and one of those with Bipolar who has embraced it and succeeded to get the stabilization that you need to remain positive and happy in life.

I wonder if there is a way that I can help my daughter get to the point of acceptance and understanding that she does have the ability to help herself first by accepting that she has a disorder that she cannot change but can with a positive attitude and understanding could change it all around. Of course finding the right meds will help too.

Is there anything that you could suggest that I could do to help her out.....or does she first have to be stabilized in order to do that???? I figured now that the doctors have diagnosed her that there might be a book or something that would be helpful for her to gather a better understanding of what Bipolar is.....knowledge is power and with age we become more powerful in maintaining stability and our overall happiness.

This is a great topic.....for it is exactly where we are with our daughter!! However, I know that at her age there is much more for her to understand and accept before she can get better. That's what I'm here for I guess.

~ Goody

twoeyez · 07-14-2006, 08:05 PM

Goddy :

You are a very good and knowledgable mother. I know this from all your posts.

Your daughter knows that there is something wrong with her "happiness." I just put it that way because I believe that is the way a 15 year old girl wants to think about bipolar disorder. She wants to "feel good". Like she remembers whan she was 11.

Perhaps, you need to take her back to that time. Talk with her how she really felt at that time. Why she felt that way. the key is to "Listen" to how she called "feeling good". Let her do the talking. Let her know you care by only nooding your head. She needs to be incontrol. She wants to let you know that she is willing to help herself.

She is able to handle the computer ? Then the two of you can work together into "google" websites on what causes bipolar disorder. Try to let her find her own answers about "her" disorder. Let her read,out loud to you, what can help her. Stay positive and understanding. But she needs to find some of her own answers

You already have the answers......Let her know that she can find them also.

It's called building on the mother and daughter relationship.... Love

Stabilty will come.....When she has learned.

Eyes

goody2shuz · 07-14-2006, 08:28 PM

Eyes...you are a wise man

Thanks for the wonderful suggestions.....yes giving Erin control will allow her more involvement in restoring her "happiness".

The computer...well we have had some issues with impulsivity and doing the wrong things such as going to sites that talk about death and suicide and using IM to be in touch with people who are not a good influenc on her. So it will take some time to get there.....I guess sitting side by side may be useful.

I guess I am realizing that until we are better stabilized she will be in the "denial" mode. Today she talked about how the friends who really care about her do not....they confronted her on how concerned they were about the "changes" they saw in her over the past 4 months.....they did this as a peer intervention on her birthday and Erin perceived that as them telling her that they didn't like her and she was mad at them because they were able to laugh and have a good time when she felt miserable on that day. I told her that when you are depressed you will feel that way and that it is probably difficult to see others feeling the way that you wished you could feel. And that depression was not her fault or something she could turn on or off and that it must be difficult feeling that something makes you feel what you don't want to feel. I took her hands into mine and told her that is why she was where she was away from her friends so that we could find together the med that will allow her to feel good again and that we would!!

Taking her back in time is a great idea......and listening with just nodding is something she really needs to do....it is getting her to open up and tell me what she is feeling that sometimes is a chore....but I know in time she will.

Yes, Eyes, you are sooo wise....thank you!!!

~ Goody

emeraldeyes114 · 07-14-2006, 08:40 PM

I do believe that having a plan for stability is an excellent idea. I know there are times without this board and its members I would be more lost then I am. Sort of like having a map when you feel that somehow you took a wrong turn somewhere.

Being a teen Goody we know is hard enough but you had the bipolar to the mix and it gets harder still. I know she will make it through this time and she is so lucky to have a mom like you. Give yourself credit for the strength and the wisdom within you and the need never to give up no matter how tired you might be. Also let her know she needs to take advantage of this time because once you are an adult it is a whole nother ballgame.

I know at times I feel I am doing well and might not be doing as well as I think. Sometimes it is hard to see the tree for the forest or vice versa. But yes having consistent goals and management techniques equals a more fruitful and benefical life for those who suffer from this. Now I hope I can get to that point.
Deb