I hav'nt wrote in a few days. Just trying to catch up on rest and clear my head. Here's my question. I talked with my wife tonight in the state hospital. She was having what she called a bad day. I told her I was making some changes in our living arrangments in hope that a change of places and doing more than just sitting at home all day. She said I could'nt make her happy and then said pills would'nt make her happy. So is there any truth to that? I know you can't make people happy inside but I figured If I changed things around she might find something to believe in and get involved in and she may find herself happy. I know of course this is going to take meds to get her feeling more balanced. Is it possible she will feel better and have a different outlook once she is balanced out or am I doing all this for nothing? She said she could'nt promise she would'nt try to committ suscide again. If fact if she could she said she would do It right now. She wanted to know why women could end a life by abortion but could'nt end their own life when they wanted to. She said it was'nt fair. I told her alot of life isn't fair. I just don't know what to do or not do. Any advise is greatly appriciated. TEXASCRITTER
I don't think she means that you can't make her happy I think she means she can't make herself happy. She doesn't know why she isn't happy and it is easy to blame someone or something on the out side. I believe her out look will change with the correct meds, but first she has to become stable and then she will face what's happened which will be very difficult for her. It will take a while for this to play out. You were talking about making some changes. I would recomend that right now you do nothing ( except try to make yourself happy) She needs Stability and routine. making changes may be seen by her as Pressure. And my cause her to feel more guilt.
Try to set up a routine for her, call her at the same time every day, visit at the same time and on the same days. it will give her something to depend on and look forward to. just don't express your feelings to her, i.e. Don't tell her how you feel. again this would be pressure on her. she already know she is hurting you and doesn't need to be reminded. (suggestions only I am no therepist)
My idea to change things around is because she said last week that just walking in the door here brings her down. We don't live in luxery, but it's not the slums. We live 12 miles out of town and due to our financal problems we can rarely go anywhere. I just thought it might help to get her into a suitation where we could do more than sit around the house. Thanks for replying TEXASCRITTER
texascritter, Your wife is in a bad place right now mentally. The docs are trying to get her meds right so she can get to a better place. From my own experience there really isn't much you can do to get her out of it. Once the meds kick in that should help a bunch. As far as the arrangements at the house I wouldn't do much because it will change so often that by the time she gets back she will want to change it again. I know this is probably getting old hearing this but just take care of yourself right now. Your wife is safe in the hospital. There are so many ups and downs it gets overwhelming..I know. Be there for her and sound positive. I know it's hard. This disorder is hard on everyone. Don't give up. I have found peace in praying. Take care....Oz
Probably sounds strange to other people, but, so you go to a Church? Here, when someone feels this way, the first thing we do is bring the Chaplain to speak with them, and that usually brings them some peace. Moral support.
Is there something like that you can do?
Just a thought
Strawberry
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