Husband is in hospital under court order - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

ElviaP. · 07-18-2006, 06:54 AM

I have to say that yesterday was one of the most difficult days of my life. I had an early appointment with the department of public health to get the paperwork started on getting my husband a court order. Then went downtown to see a judge who was very sympathetic to my case. She took me into her chambers and talked to me privately and heard my testimony. After she agreed to sign the mental health warrant I marched down to the police station and talked to the officer who would be detaining my husband. By that time I was soaked in sweat. It was 100 degrees out there. But as I told my husband I would do it again in a heartbeat if I had to. So after I talked to the officer I went home and wated for my hubby to get back from the gym. Once he did we talked about anything that would keep me calm and him not suspicious of what was about to happen. I knew if I told him I was getting a court order he would be long gone.
The officer arrived at the door and introduced himself. The hardest part for me was seeing my husbands face when he realized what was going on. I just wanted to cry and run out of the room. But I had to stay strong for myself and him. Surprisingly he went willingly with the 2 officers and they didnt have to use handcuffs. I went and visited him 2 hours after he got there so the hospital could admit him. He was surprisingly in good spirits. He wasnt mad at me. But that didnt last long once I got home and got ready for bed he called and tried to call me every name in the book and insult me in every way he knew how. I asked him what was wrong and he said "they made me take my medicine, I thought I had a choice in here." All I kept telling him no matter how angry he got at me was "I love you, i will be here for you, and I want you to get better" After an hour of him lashing out at me I hung up because it had been a long very emotionaly charged day for me. Then a few minutes later he called to apologize. I assume some of the meds were kicking in because he got very drowsy quick.
I just hope the meds will help with his temper. Thats the scariest thing for me. He is ok being in the hospital but as for now still angry that he has to take any medication. I dont understnd that, but what I do understand is that I'm going to be there for him every step of the way. Any comments or suggestions are very welcome.

goody2shuz · 07-18-2006, 07:07 AM

Awwww, Elvia......BIG (((((HUGS)))))) for you!!! I know that it was the most difficult thing to do but sometimes when we really love someboy and they are unable to make the decision to get the help they need somebody who loves them enough will go out and get it for them. And you did just that!!

From what I have learned there is really no rationalizing with an unmedicated person who is Bipolar. They are not able to think things through logically....it is like a diabetic who has way too much sugar in their system and is lacking the insulin that is necessary to keep them balanced. Hyperglycemia approaches and the confusion sets in.....think of it as your getting the medication necessary for your hubby to realize that he does need it!! He will realize this once he is feeling better on the meds.

You take this time to relax. If your hubby calls agitated tell him you love him and will take his calls once the meds are working but cannot listen to him in his irrational state. I have started to point out to my daughters when they are talking to me irrationally and walking away for my own peace of mind. And it does work. So you need to do the same.

I hope things go well. Call and check in with the staff and talk to your hubby for short intervals reassurring him that you do love him. He will thank you for this gesture of love but he needs to realize that he needs his meds. In fact, during this hospitalization, once he is able to hear it you MUST tell him that staying on his meds is essential to your remaining in the marriage. It is his part of the marriage vows in loving and honoring you and you need to let him know this is his promise and obligation to you as his wife.

(((HUGS)))) and know that we are here for you.....Goody

bp1 · 07-18-2006, 08:54 AM

Hi--
What a day you went through! No matter how difficult, you definately made the right choice. You are a wonderful person to keep reminding him how much you love him and will always be there. I hope you have plenty of support around you as you will need it. If not you can always turn here as we all know how these things are and can offer some support. Good luck!!I wish you some peace in the near future

ElviaP. · 07-18-2006, 10:53 AM

Thank you so much. Everyone here has been so great. He called this morning in a better mood. I could tell this was the first time in who knows how long he's got some good rest. I will be visiting him tonight at 6 p.m. So I will keep my fingers crossed that he behaves himself while i'm there,LOL.

I know the Matt I married is a wonderful caring man who loves me and life. And this Matt ive been living with recently is not the real him. This is a dirty unfair sickness but as i told him last night he is not alone neither is anyone else.

goody2shuz · 07-18-2006, 11:13 AM

Good for you, Elvia

I hope your visit goes well ande Matt is sure lucky to have a wife who loves him as much as YOU do....enough to even go the extra mile to get him the help that he needs.

Let us know how things go.

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody