I need an attitude adjustment - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

Debbie68 · 11-09-2002, 06:15 PM

I don't know what is wrong with me. I am in a bad mood 90% of the time. Iam never happy, and rarely, if ever, do I experience joy. When Iam not angry, Iam depressed. I've been diagnosed with depression and am taking medication, but for the most part I am just in a "sour mood" for the majority of my life.
I feel overwhelmed with negative emotions alot. I really can't tolerate frustration and snap! with very little provocation. This bad mood interferes with my daily life. I don't know if I should talk to my dr. or not, I just moved to this area and I don't feel comfortable with my new dr.. In fact it's almost impossible to find a dr. that I like/trust. I just wonder if this qualifies as bipolar or maybe Iam just a cranky person!.

[This message has been edited by Debbie68 (edited 11-11-2002).]

Aragorn · 12-06-2002, 11:07 PM

I'm also in a quite bad mood almost the whole time since I got back from the summer holidays.To be more exact,with bad mood I mean "loss of energy" and "lack of(mental primarily)power and clarity".
You see,I'm a BP1(diagnosed in '95,though I had the first occurence in Jan'92,a few days after my 18th birthday),but I don't miss at all the sheer power ,the unimaginable strengh of my (hyper)manic days;I just want my lucidity back!This relaxation,this calmness,this joy(neither bliss nor euphoria)of the unforgettable stages much before mania and pretty much "after" my(normal?)mild depression/grief.Can any anti-depressant aid me to get to there again?Is there any SSRI or atypical anti-depressant "manic-proof"?I haven't seen my doctor(=one of the most distinguished psychiatrists in Greece)since late '98 and I haven't ever had the chance to let him know of these mild depressive stages that followed my successful "cure".
Since September'98 I'm not on any drug at all though I needed a mixture of 200mg of Melleril and a few Haldol drops last March in order to kill a single hypermanic episode that arose;after 27+ days,10-12 hours per day of constant hard work,without a single day-off,with an average 3-5 hours of sleep every day!The sole (hyper)manic attack of the last 6+ years...The ~3 years I was medicated I started on severe anti-psychotics like Mellerill & Haldol and then proceeded to Tegretol(Carbamazepine)and Akineton for a while,until I had to take 800mg of Tegretol alone the last 2 years.
My doc,after(gradually)ceasing my medication advised me to always have a couple of 30mg Mellerill pills on me,as a precaution(my personal "fire-extinguisher" as he called it)which whenever I felt I needed to slowdown I could take them on my own.Still,nothing did he ever mention on depression,since at that time it wasn't at all a problem.But today it is...And I'm worried it might get even worse.I've not made up my mind yet whether I should see him again or not;what do you think?