Finally Did it.. What Now? Need Advise - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

agarcia1 · 08-23-2006, 05:48 PM

Hi everyone. Late Monday night, we ( my sis-in-law & I ) had my DH taken to the local hospital to get my husband help. He was originally diagnosed with organic personality disorder but his psychiatrist recently changed it to Bipolar. He went without to much of a struggle to the hospital to get a medical clearance . I had previously gotten a section for emergenct commitment but it had never been served. The police showed up and took him to the hospital. We were there for a couple of hours and released him. He hadn't been any trouble, but when it came time to taking him the the local Mental Hospital, he started saying all sorts of things. He started arguing with the police. he wasn't making any sense. He threw everything that was in his pockets to the floor and told the police that all he wanted to do was go home. He started walking away, so the police had no choice but to put handcuffs on him. They pretty much had to force him into the vehicle since he was refusing to go. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to go through. All day yesteday , I kept on calling to see how he was doing. They told me that he kept on asking why he was there. He doesn't see that he has a problem. He gets very angry to where he will punch walls, window and pretty much anything or anyone who is in his way. He will sometimes now think rationally. When I called yesterday to see how he was doing they said that he was being very guarded. That he didnt want to be there. They told me that he was taking all of his meds which os another reason why we had him sent there. He refused to take his meds properly. WHen I called later in the afternoon they told me that they had given him some med to calm him down because he had a seizure (he's epileptic). I kept calling all night but he was asleep. THis morning I finally got to talk to him. Lets just say that he is not a happy camper. He did not want to talk to me. I had asked him how he felt since he had gotten sick yesterday. All he said was that his was there when he shouldn't be. He asked me if I knew why he was mad. i told him yes. That he was mad because he didnt want to be there. Pretty soon after that he told me that he was hanging up. Not the call I wanted but oh well. LAter on today I called to check up him and one of the nurses told me that he had just punched a hole in one of there walls. I have no idea what may have made him do that. I know that he had just gotten off the phone with his mom. I just don't know what to do anymore. i just tried talking to him but he told them that he didnt want to talk to anyone. The nurse also told me that he hasnt been wanting to eat. has anyone else ever had to do this to a loved one before. If so, what was your experience. Did they resent you afterwards?

Please Help. Need Advise.

Annette

texascritter · 08-24-2006, 11:03 AM

Hi, I don't know if you are familure with what I've been thru with my wife in the past three months. She tried to commit suscide twice in that period. I called the cops both times and she was committed to the state mental institution. The first time she was in for 4 days and they released her. Within 2 weeks she tried again by taking over 120 pills. This time she was in for 3 1/2 weeks. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. She of course like your husband was'nt very happy with me either time. She really wanted out of there especially at the begining. As time went on she found out she really needed to be there and started trying to learn how to get better. They got her on meds that helped stablize her and today 3 months later she is very grateful that I did what I had to do. She is doing very well, going to groups and doing the things needed to help herself. God knows I know what you are going thru. It is just as hard on us if not worse than them. They are where they need to be and now you need to focus on you. You need to get your hear back on straight and do all the reasearch you can to find out what you can do to help him when he returns and how to keep yourself healthy at the same time. He is being helped around the clock. What about you. I can't guarentee he will react as my wife did, but if he is better he should be grateful he has such a caring wife who was there when he really needed her. It's hard because you feel so guilty. As time goes on you come to realize you did what needed to be done and have nothing to feel gulity about. In fact the longer you feel guilty the more time you lose that you could use to learn more about the future needs. My heart goes out to you. Been thru this and It does get better with time and info. Hope this helps. I will say without this web site and the beautiful people here I don't know how I would have got thru it. I'm sure they will rally around you as they did for me. As for myself I'll help anyway I can GOD BLESS YOU !!!!! TEXASCRITTER

NodiGoiterGirl · 08-24-2006, 05:02 PM

My husband has been hospitalized two or three times. They were all voluntary. However, his last visit was at a different hospital since they closed the ward down at the hospital he was used to. This last hospital is an older one. The rooms are crappier and it feels much colder. I didn't like it there either. So he told me he will never go back. I was hoping I wouldn't have to face him going back.
I went out of town for a week for work and came back Saturday. Things were great for about 6 weeks before I left but something must have triggered him while I was gone. He has been sooooooo angry and irrational. He put us in a ditch Sunday night because I asked him not to peel out on my Uncle's gravel road. It takes a lot of money to make the road nice and he's been in trouble before for driving a little recklessly there. Anyway he totally flipped out and slammed on the brakes, the whole time looking at me like he hated me. He tried to pull over and didn't realize there was a ditch he said, "see what you made me do?" Geez. I didn't even say it naggingly...I know better.
My Uncle pulled us out and gave him a stern talking to. He thought that he was drunk but he was just mad. He had maybe one drink while we were there.
Anyway, we get home and he accidentally breaks a fish tank and says, "That's it I'm done, done with life, I'm killing myself." So I said then we are going to the hospital. He said NO and then said if I called 911 that he would run away and no one would catch him.
So I sat up all night making sure he would be okay. I've never had him refuse to go to the hospital before. I really didn't know what to do.
He has said he's going to kill himself three times since Sunday. He can't find his wallet...He's gonna do it...He can't find his keys...This life sucks.
Anyway, enough with my story. Just wanted to say that if I have to do this against his will then he will be really angry with me for awhile.
Eventually when he's straightened out though he'll realize it was for the best. I'm sure your husband will realize that too.
Good Luck
Take Care,
Nodi

agarcia1 · 08-24-2006, 09:46 PM

Thank you all so much for replying. It means a lot to me. You all have always been so supportive and understanding. My husband was commited late Monday night. He was very angry the first day. Yesterday I called to get an update as as you know he had punched a hole in their wall. I called him later last night after visiting hours and he wasnt to talkative. All he kept on saying was that he didn't want to be there. He started saying that the reason he was there was because I wanted to go out and party and I couldn't do it with him around. I assured him that he was wrong and that I just wanted him to get better as soon as possible. I told him that he just needed to take his meds and cooperate with the his pdoc. Today seems to be a totally different story. You see yesterday I didn't go see him since he had been so angry all day long so I decided to go until today. I called this morning to speak to him but he wasn't willing to talk. THey told me that he didn't want to come to the phone. I decided just to show up and visit him. I met his sister and mother there. HIs mother went in first since she had gotten there earlier. I waited till the end to see him since i was afraid as to how he would react since he was so upset with me yesterday. When I finally went in to see him, I sat down next to him and he leaned over and gave me hug. I felt so relieved. We were talking to him there for about 20 minutes and he decided that he wanted to go back to get some rest. As he was walking away i asked him for a hug but he wasn't really ready to give me one. I understood and let him go back in. I called him about 1 hour after our visit and he seemed to be in better spirits. I am so glad for that. I told him that I loved him and missed him and he told me the same. It felt good to hear him say that he loved me and that he missed me too. I told him that he needed to get better for US. He agreed and said that he would try. He keeps on asking how long hes going to be there. I just keep telling him to concetrate on getting better instead of worrying about how long he's going to be there. Well hopefully things will be good tomorrow. I told him I would call him tomorrow. He said that he'll be waiting. Hopefully he'll get better soon and realize that we did it for him. Well.I'll try to post tomorrow to give you all an update. Thanks you ALL once again for giving me some insight and hope. I'll keep all of you all in my prayers.

TEXASCRITTER - I am familiar with your situation and am glad to hear that your wife is doing much better. I really hope that my husband will be as lucky.

Annette

texascritter · 08-25-2006, 06:49 PM

Hi, Thanks for the kind words. I'm glad all the advise on this board is helping you. I personally would have been lost without these kind people. I just hope I can continue helping others as I have been helped. My wife is like a different person on medication. I am so proud of her. It feels so good hearing her say thank you for caring enough to save herself from harming herself. She took over 120 pills. She was serious about dying. Now she has normal goals and plans. What a loss of such a good person it would have been if I had'nt have done what needed done. Have you begun reasearching what's next once he is released and what your roll will be? It will sneak up on you if you arn't careful since there is no set time to how long he will be there. I'll continue watching for updates and jump in when I can to help.. Be good to yourself and god bless!!! TEXASCRITTER