Bipolar boyfriend...need some advice - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

*Sphinx* · 05-19-2003, 06:05 PM

As you all know, I was hospitalized for bipolar and depression a month ago. While I was there, I met this guy and we hooked up after we were released. We've been going out since and he was just re-admitted today. I don't know how to help him. He's also bipolar and you'd think that I would know what to do for him because I have the same problem but I am lost as to what I should be doing for him.

I'm probably going to get off subject a lot so just hang with me. I've got a lot to say...

Lately he's been acting distant and has been sleeping more than usual so I knew he was depressed but he doesn't talk about it much. He won't open up about anything like that and I want to get to know him. We've just mostly been hanging out and stuff and even though we're going steady we still aren't really a couple. This morning he called my friend to tell her to tell me to call cuz it's long distance for him to call me. Well, I was kind of upset with him about something that happened last night and I didn't call him until just an hour ago and his mom informed me that he's back in the psychiatric center because he tried to kill his father. His father is a real *******. Anyway, she said that he'd planned on killing his father and then killing himself. I called him to check on him and asked him what happened. He said "It's a long and confusing story. I just really don't want to talk about it." I was like, "okay". Then he asked if I would call him later cuz he wanted to go to sleep. I don't know what to do. I want to know what's going on with him so I can try to understand it but he won't even open up to me. I know it's hard for a bipolar to open up because I'm one myself. I won't talk about anything that goes through my head but I'm sure that I would say a little if he would ask. He never wants to talk about anything. He just goes on like nothing's happening until he snaps. I'm confused and kind of angry. I just feel like if I would have called him this morning instead of being stubborn then maybe he wouldn't be in the hospital right now. Maybe he was looking to talk to me this morning and I wasn't even there for him. What kind of girlfriend am I? The one time that he probably really needed me I was being selfish. Grrr. If this doesn't make sense, I'm sorry. I gotta run right now so I can't finish what I was going to say.

KC

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Sometimes I think I'm crazy. I'm crazy oh so crazy. Why am I here? Am I just wasting my time?

Ozymandias · 05-22-2003, 10:28 PM

Yeah, it's hard for BPs to maintain relationships. I don't know how my [normal] wife has stuck with me. Thank God she's stubborn.
Two people swinging out of sync? Or in sync? Which would be worse. The only BPs I know personally are either family, and I am motivated to try to cope with them; or people met during hospitalizations, and then everybody is so drugged up they're bookends.
If you can maintain the courage and strength to deal with him, I am sure you will be needed (even if not always wanted). As to whether you should - nobody can answer that but you.

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Oz
What powerful but unrecorded race
Once dwelt in that annihilated place.
-- Horace Smith