does anyone love their manic side - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

*jitters* · 05-26-2003, 12:04 AM

I am newly diagnosed b/p 2.......trying to find the right meds to regulate me. So far its just side effects galore. The thing is........ I love being manic!! I don't want to give it up. I don't like the depressed side of the spectrum, but parts of the manic are just amazing! Are there others who feel this way? Or am i just strange.

bryndolyn afon · 05-26-2003, 12:32 AM

yes dear, ... we all love our manic sides tremendously, yet when we get to a certain point, we realize that these episodes are a forewarning of an ensuing depression that seems to be equal in intensity to these fits of mania. I am bi-polar I, so my manic episodes have been pretty extreme. In due time, you wil come to carefully understand the sporadical nuances of your brain chemistry and accept new moods that set in...yet you may not understand why you can't change the inevitable from happening....

my suggestion is to enjoy your intensities while you can... out of harm's way...

salty · 05-26-2003, 05:11 PM

I totally agree with Bryndolyn afon. Sometimes it just takes awhile (years in many cases) before you come to understand what's really going on with your brain chemistry. And nothing's worse than the depression so you eventually do what you can to prevent it from coming on.

Sure the temptation is always there when you AREN'T depressed, to go off meds because you feel great, but it isn't worth it. In my case, it's NEVER worth it. The depression comes back harder and it always comes back.

You have to experience it Jitters to know what I mean.

I know with me anyway I wanted to be med-free...I'd tell myself that I was fine, didn't have anything wrong with my brain chemistry...but I was wrong. I've suffered needlessly because I didn't stay on meds.

A lot of us think that we aren't even "manic" when we aren't depressed and aren't on meds, we just feel "normal" then, but something happens, some stressor, something chemical happens and we end up depressed again.

You'll see in time Jitters that being on an even keel is easiest thing to be.

*jitters* · 05-26-2003, 11:40 PM

i do realize this, that is why i am trying to find meds with the least amount of side effects. I am what is known as "drug sensitive" when there are side effects to a drug, chances are EXTREMELY high that i will have them. Depakote was a nightmare........and they started me on baby doses. right now i am trying topomax, we are starting this with baby doses too, will gradually work up to the proper dose if this one doesn't make me too miserable. So far so good. I take it at bed time only right now so i sleep through most of the side effects, although my tongue feels kindof weird. Hopefully my family survives this whirlwind! I do appreciate your responses. Bless you all. Kim

rsg · 05-27-2003, 09:58 AM

I was the smartest in my class, the quickest on the floor and the friendliest to all the patients. I Volunteered for extra shifts and every blood gas draw I could get my needle into as a student,I also cleaned every ventilator I could get my hands on. Then I crashed. Career gone

DEPRESSION mania, but I hate the crashing, mine is usually RAGE or depression. Just wanted to add. Have a decent day,
Rhonda

oh, by the way I was undiagnosed thru my productive period, this medication makes me feel like my age. bummer LOL

1000mg depakote /day (no weight gain)
100-200mg seroquel Qhs
1-3mg klonipin prn/day
wondering if adderall would give me some energy and lift this lingering depression???Any input?

[This message has been edited by rsg (edited 05-27-2003).]

[This message has been edited by rsg (edited 05-27-2003).]