alone - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

scrags · 08-30-2003, 02:57 PM

GD i feel so alone today, especially today. i've been low for the last few weeks but damm i feel horrible today. i had a dr. appt. last week and told her i was doing ok, riding on the low side but feeling stable just because i didn't feel like being messed with right now. soon after that i realized that was a bad idea. i just started taking care of my five month old son and i'm begining to feel some old scary s@#t come back. on top of that even when my wife and child are here i feel alone, separate some how. this kind of stuff brings up those obsessive thoughts of suicide. why do i put up with this, why can't i ever be happy??? i'm really having trouble right now. i feel like drinking myself away or running or some thing just to get out of this hole. but i know i can't escape so what do i do???

i hate myself today...
scrags

NodiGoiterGirl · 08-30-2003, 05:54 PM

I am sorry you are so down. Please accept a hug from me.
I think the most important thing is to be honest with your doc, because otherwise you won't be able to be honest with yourself. Maybe you need a different treatment, but if you don't tell your doc the truth about how you are feeling, you won't be helped properly.
Try giving your doc a call as soon as you can and schedule another appt. Nobody should feel as bad as you do. You deserve to be treated correctly so you can enjoy all the happiness this life has to offer.
Take Care,
Nodi