Am I Bi-Polar? - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

magic~hands · 09-01-2003, 01:00 AM

Ok, I've decided to post my symptoms // feelings here on the forum before telling my parents // doctor and seeing if I'm just overreacting or are my feelings justified.

Ok, often I do feel depressed. I can't exactly explain it just it feels empty and I want to cry for no apparent reason. I get angry incredibly easily, if someone asks me something or asks me to do something I go into a fit of rage. I have trouble sleeping at night and can't wake up during the day (I feel incredibly tired).

Often I have auditory hallucinations. Once, I can't remember what they said but it was similar to a techno voice and it really scared me (this was late at night) and often I hear someone calling my name (usually I think it's my parents) so I call back and they tell me they didn't say anything. Also at night I see basically skeleton like things which often fly from the ceiling attempting to bite me (people say hallucinations at night are normal). During the day from the corner of my eye I see things move and always need to look especially when I'm read or on the computer.

I have frequent headaches everyday from the time I wake up to the time I sleep. I went to the doctor about this and he recommended taking A LOT of Advil I mean 5 - 7 a day which is too much and will probably cause an ulcer.

Also I do get panic attacks. When I'm read, concentrate on my breathing I get really cold, dizzy, and feels like I'm suffocating even though I'm breathing fine.

The problem is though, this states are not unpredictable... which is why I'm questioning on whether or not I have bi-polar. If you have bi-polar do you just get mad randomly or when someone's talking to you? All I'm really asking is for some person insight towards what it's like to be bi-polar.

Thanks,
-m.hands

whiskey · 09-02-2003, 06:53 PM

Do you get really happy moods? I would for sure talk to your parents about it which ever you are closest to
I get very angry with my bipolar II but I think there needs to be more.

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whiskey

schragie · 09-03-2003, 07:06 PM

Hey there,

It sounds like you're on the right track looking for information on bipolar. You might have it, and people with bipolar can be prone to rage but also the manic part of it usually includes feeling of elation. You may not have it at all but the symptoms you describe suggest some sort of mental illness.

Untreated bipolar illness can lead to psychotic symptoms, like the hallucinations you see and hear.

I hope you speak to a doctor or your parents soon. Believe me, I've been through this for some years and it gets so much better when you get help and people around you support you.

There are a lot of drug options out there and also talk therapy can do wonders for a person.

You are not alone and do not need to suffer alone. Lots of people like me have this or other nasty mental illnesses and lead great lives.

Keep us posted!
Lisa

BP-2 · 09-04-2003, 01:49 PM

Hey there Magic,

You sound almost exactly like me . . .I was originally diagnosed with depression and put on Wellbutrin . . .it helped for a while, but eventually I was a total mess (no sleep, ***** to everyone, crying, anxiety, seeing things [computer or reading - right on,] hearing things . . .and on and on.) Since being diagnosed as Bi-Polar II and adding Lamictal to my cocktail of daily pills, my life has really changed.

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Belle

magic~hands · 09-05-2003, 07:28 PM

Thanks for your help guys *hug*

Anyways, I sometimes fantasize about various upliftings - such as taking over the world (haha). But, it seems controlled you know? Like it happens during specific times of the day, or if I'm in a certain location. You guys make it sound like no matter where you are, what you're doing you have no control over it. In my case, it feels like I have no control but it happens at a specified more controlled time... I hope you get what I'm saying because it's incredibly hard to understand.

BTW: I've been taking a lot of advil for headaches which we believe is causing me to frequently have to urinate. Could the headaches be a result of depression//bi-polar?

Oh and thanks again!