just diagnosed - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

nanamarie · 09-04-2003, 08:55 AM

I was dx bi-polar yesterday. It is very scarey. My p-doc. exlained sometime it takes a while to get the right combo of meds. I also started cognitive therapy yesterday. So I guess I ought to feel relieved, right? What I feel is scared and lonely and lost.
I dont think I have enough tears left to make me feel better. I was already on welbutrin 150x2 for depression. Added depakote 500x2. I dont really have a question, I just need to hear that it will get better. I am not sleepings much and I feel as if I have the shakes inside all the time. I do alot of pacing. I have had symptoms for a long time but I guess nobody ever put them all together. I have been treated for depression for more than 20 years. I know this post is all scattered and I apoligize. I will try to do better in the future if you will just bare with me. I have been doing alot of reading here the past couple of weeks. Any insisight you can give me is soo much appreciated. nanamarie

HoosierBj · 09-04-2003, 09:51 AM

Hi Nanamarie!
Welcome aboard - you already belong to one of the best and most supportive Forums on the HealthBoards!

It took them years to diagnose me properly and I actually felt relieved rather than scared!

I did want to tell you that while having Bipolar Disease may always be a little scary, it WILL be different than what you are going through now. Your doctor was being wonderfully honest about meds. It takes the most time and sometimes can involve side effects, trying new dosages, new drugs (I'm on an old one - Lithium).
But like I say, we DO have a chemical imbalance, and it WILL take some combination of chemicals to even us out.

Since I was diagnosed I have - worked 20 productive years, met and married my husband, raised a passle of cats, read everything I can get my hands on about my disease, survived my Dad's death from colon cancer without a major catatonic depression, and overcome the stigma to tell my friends what is is I have.
Whew! Guess it definitely did get better in many ways for me.

But - just like a diabetic, I will ALWAYS have this disease. I take my meds, I watch my health & stress level.
AND I come here - often.

Folks here are the best... I've seen other Forums on here direct people to us because we are the "nicest & the most helpful" even if the problem isn't bipolar based.
So, see? You're pretty good folk already!

Bj

BP-2 · 09-04-2003, 01:36 PM

Hi Nanamarie,

Hang in there - things WILL get better - I promise. Give the med's time to kick in and stay in touch with your Doc.

I had the shakes too - though they are better. I also have Myoclonic Jerks . . .mostly as I am going to sleep . . .not a big deal and I welcome them if it means that my mood is stable.

I'm BP II
Wellbutrin 150 mg SR
Lamictal 300 mg (we built up slowly from 25 mg)

I was originally on the WB for depression and then 1 year later I was re-diagnosed as BP II vs depression and the Lamictal has changed my life! :- )

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Belle

littlebernier · 09-05-2003, 06:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by nanamarie:
I was dx bi-polar yesterday. It is very scarey. My p-doc. exlained sometime it takes a while to get the right combo of meds. I also started cognitive therapy yesterday. So I guess I ought to feel relieved, right? What I feel is scared and lonely and lost.
I dont think I have enough tears left to make me feel better. I was already on welbutrin 150x2 for depression. Added depakote 500x2. I dont really have a question, I just need to hear that it will get better. I am not sleepings much and I feel as if I have the shakes inside all the time. I do alot of pacing. I have had symptoms for a long time but I guess nobody ever put them all together. I have been treated for depression for more than 20 years. I know this post is all scattered and I apoligize. I will try to do better in the future if you will just bare with me. I have been doing alot of reading here the past couple of weeks. Any insisight you can give me is soo much appreciated. nanamarie

Welcome!
Yes, our illness can be very scary. The medication cocktails can make it even scarier. Make sure that you are very open about side effects from medications with your doctor. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is an awesome tool for us with this illness.

You don't have to have questions to write here on the board, just come share your experiences with us. Just consider us an extension of your family.

LB

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When we feel love and kindness toward others, it not only makes others feel loved and cared for, but it helps us also to develop inner happiness and peace.

wobbly · 09-05-2003, 02:59 PM

Hey, I know what you're feeling, I was just diagnosed in July and was really scared. I still am, a little, but the above posters are right, it really does get better. I know that may be hard to believe right now, but hang in there and come here as much as you need to for support. In my outpatient program they said many times that the hardest period is while you're waiting for your meds to take effect. I have now been on my full doses for about 5 weeks and I can truly say I feel much better...not 100% yet, but I am starting to slowly get my groove back.

Keep the faith because these very honest people are telling you the truth. You may have to have your meds "fine-tuned," but even so, in a few weeks you will at least be feeling that there is hope. Another good thing is to find a support group. There you will meet a lot of people who've been where you are and are doing great now. It will give you hope that you'll feel better too.

I wish you the best of health and happiness. Keep us posted.

-wobbly