what do i do, my life is crumbling right in front of me! - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

NotMyselfLately · 09-05-2003, 03:00 PM

i don't even know where to start with this. i'm totally confused, and i'm very heartbroken. my mom and her boyfriend broke up over a week ago, she called me and i told her she could stay with me. my boyfriend and my mom DO NOT get along, they never have. my mom is like me (or i'm like her) as far as when something is on our mind we voice ourself. long story short, after 5 days the sh*t finally hit, and my mom and boyfriend got into it. he left, broke up with me. at first i was so mad i honestly don't know what i felt or thought, but after a few hours it started bothering me so i went to talk to my boyfriend. after a lengthy conversation, we decided to get back together. while i was away from home, my mom talked to my brothers, i have no clue what happened. i get home with my boyfriend, and my mom is loading up her car, she's crying, my daughter's crying and she tells me she's leaving. she didn't mean to cause problems, and she didn't know i didn't want her there or she would've never came. thing is, i never said i didn't want her here... i did/do. well anyway my boyfriend see's whats going on so he starts putting his shoes back on and tells me he's leaving me. my mom comes in and tells me she left me a note and she loves me, and she's sorry and leaves.... crying. my youngest brother has been staying with us too for about a month or so, and after my mom left he got ****ed at me and started talking about he was leaving and he's tired of all of this sh*t and the only one he cares about is mom. he gets on the phone, i go outside... i'm totally beside myself at this point, i tried telling my mom not to go before she left but she wouldn't listen, my brother and my boyfriend are ****ed at me, and i didn't even know what the hell i did. anyway an hour after my mom left my brother asks to borrow my car and says he'll be right back. this was at 11. i stayed up until 2:30 this morning waiting to hear from him and was finally so tired i had to go to bed. i get up this morning to get my kids off to school, and realize my brother still wasn't back with my car. i tracked him down and when i called him to find out what was going on, he had an attitude with me. i find out 2 hours after i talk to my brother, that my mom slept in her car last night.... she has nowhere to go. i didn't want her to leave to begin with, but she wouldn't listen. its now after 5 and my brother is still not back with my car, he hasn't called me or anything, and i don't know where my mom is. i honestly don't know what to do. i feel like this is all my fault, but i don't know what i did. i feel like total crap that my mom slept in her car, and i want her to come back here, but she won't come with my boyfriend here, so my boyfriend said he'll leave so she can come back..... and i'm so hurt but angry because i feel like i am being made to choose, and i don't think its fair. i hate being in the middle of them two, it drives me crazy and when i try telling them that, neither one listens.... they blame it all on the other. i don't think i can handle anything else. i am so upset, but i don't know what i'm supposed to do. do i really need to choose or is there another way this can be handled that i just haven't thought about yet? sorry for rambling, hope everyone is doing good. thanks for taking time to read this. God bless!

chipwebb1 · 09-10-2003, 03:13 PM

Im amazed noone replyed to this post. this person is here asking for advise and friendship and noone comes to help. I hope it is working out.

~~NatureLovers~~ · 09-10-2003, 05:19 PM

Hi NotMyselfLately

I just read this for the first time. Im so sorry to hear what your going thru. My life has also consistently been screwed up due to my family also. My brother 36 still lives with myparents, also has a bad temper and major anger issue. My granny died from undue stress that my uncle placed on her. He is slowly killing my mother, my brother that is, the same way. My young mother, 51 goes in for triple bypass surgery this friday, he still rants and raves around the house, yet in the next breath he is loving her and planning on taking her to here and there. Why now? Anyway , back to you, ID PUT MY FOOT DOWN. Just as ive learned to do. YOU only live once. YOU MAKE ECH DAY WHAT IT IS. Your mom and brother also only get one life, as well as the boyfriend. If they choose to be sad, mad, angry etc, each day, thats their choice, but you dont have to tolerate it., I say , they can either get their acts together or find other places to settle disputes or voice opinions. Your boyfriend putting his shoes on and saying he is leaving, is very childish. He needs to realize what your going thru, and not be so open to what he is going thru........why dont they get along? Surely your boyfriend, as well as mom , would see what is going on. NO one here is getting hurt, but you, and your brother. Does the boyfriend not have a home to stay at while your mom gets her bearing together? Im sure she s not looking for a permanent place, tho if she is, id oblige. Once youlose your only mother, youll wished you had of. Yet I know the stress it causes and the 'hassle'. Have your boyfriend and mom sit down, socially, adultlike, one evening and YOU do the talking. Its your way or the highway, In my opinion.
Goodluck

u2fran · 09-10-2003, 05:30 PM

I really hope things workout for you. Your loved ones should be more considerate of your feelings. You were trying to help and it's not your fault things got messed up like that. Sounds like you've done the best you can and that is what matters. Goodluck with everything.