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Old 09-24-2006, 06:21 PM   #1
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suzannecaroline HB User
dont like being bipolar, but want to feel better

I want to see if anyone out there can understand what I am feeling right now. I m not thrilled with being bipolar. It seems like I have to take care of my health in every possible way I dont want to leave the house. Everything effects me more than other people. Alcohol, drugs, death, social things, work, eating, etc. I have to watch out for every little thing and it is not fun. The med situation is a frustrating one too. The only drug I like is xanax, a contraversial drug for its addictive nature. But its a miracle drug! Then all the mood stabalizors have been terrible and SSRIs make me a nervious fat manic person. There is no win. I have a brother who is also bipolar and he shakes so bad from the lithium its sad to see. I feel fine today but the mystery of how I will feel tomorrow makes me worried. Paranoia is another bipolar charactoristic that has been mistaken for other things. When will the madness and agony end?

 
Old 09-24-2006, 07:35 PM   #2
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goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
Re: dont like being bipolar, but want to feel better

Hi, Suzanne Just wanted to welcome you to the boards and tell you to hang in there. I have a 15 year old daughter who was just diagnosed recently and I must say that the meds while not always sporting the best side effect profile have improved things quite alot. I am sure that if you think back to how you felt before diagnosis and the way your life was before the meds that overall you are much better off on them than off of them.

There alot of great people here who will offer you tons of wisdom and support. I just happened to be one of the first to greet you and wanted to welcome you to a place where you will not only feel at home but also get alot of great advice.

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody

 
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Old 09-24-2006, 10:19 PM   #3
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EmmaG82 HB User
Re: dont like being bipolar, but want to feel better

Hi suzanne, im only really new to all this stuff and i wish i could impart lots of wisdom but to be honest im in the dark too! some days im great, fabulous and accepting and some days i just want to sleep alot so i dont have to think anymore. But i hope that you can find some comfort in that this board will be here in the good and bad times to help you cope. You have the options do what makes you feel right (or as close to as possible!)
We are all searching for answers and i really hope that you find some, if so please share!! Take care

 
Old 09-25-2006, 01:47 AM   #4
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Picali HB User
Re: dont like being bipolar, but want to feel better

Hiya Suzanne,

Hoping that this will be of some help to you! I felt exactly as you did when I was diagnosed (although slightly relieved at the same time as I finally had a name for my 'craziness'). I'm 33 now - I still find BP difficult and I'm not going to lie to you and say if you do x, y, z it will all become easy, but hopefully some of this will help.

Being BP has brought some incredible changes to my life. Eating healthily, getting regular exercise and relaxing whenever possible have made me look and feel better than I did at 21. It also means that my episodes now are not as bad and don't last as long. Try and look at healthy living as a good thing - our bodies do work better on good food, just like your car will run better if you look after it and top up the oil and water.

It's made me look at my life and appreciate, not only the things in it, but the days I have when I feel really well (and when I'm well now, I'm really well because of the healthy life style). I feel the sun on my face in a way that a person who's never looked death in the face (and lets face it, most BP's have been suicidal at some time) possibly could. The superficial stuff doesn't bother me so much any more. I'm much more selective about the people I spend my time with, and what I spend my time doing, because my time is more precious to me now than it used to be.

Medication is a big problem for all BP's because of the side effects. You can look into complementary treatments - they're not necessarily a replacement for meds but they can make you more stable, meaning that you need to take less medication, so suffer fewer side effects. Things I have found helpful are:
Counselling - long-term to deal with all the stuff that's happened before, cognitive to deal with the here and now and make coping day to day easier.
Homeopathy - doesn't stop me getting ill, but does tend to sort me out when I'm having an episode. I've just got through a mixed episode on a homeopathic remedy and a tiny amount of Olanzapine, so the side effects weren't too bad.
Any kind of massage or hands on treatment is good for stress.
Emotional Freedom Technique - it's kind of like acupuncture without needles - I've found this useful, particularly during a bad spell.
Healthy eating - a really good book called Optimum Nutrition for the Mind by Patrick Holford gives lots of advice. He runs a really ethical vitamin company called Higher Nature - they're great for supplements and you can get lots of advice from them.
Exercise - yoga is fab, being outdoors helps (sunlight), anything that gets you moving is good for you to do and helps relieve stress.
I used a Lightbox one winter - that seemed to help keep the depression away.

I completely understand where you are right now. I've just come through a mixed episode and believe me, if someone had told me they could stop it all forever by cutting both my arms off, I'd have handed them a saw. Hang in there - it's a major illness and it will take time to get to understand it and deal with it, and it will never be completely easy. I find my well times outweigh my ill times now - three years ago it was completely the other way round and had been since I was a kid.

You've got friends here who understand as well!! Make use of us, we're thinking of you xx

 
Old 09-25-2006, 08:02 AM   #5
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coffeegirl2 HB User
Re: dont like being bipolar, but want to feel better

Okay

I'm literally losing my mind... I just wrote a post here and lost it. Again!

Suzanne

Xanax. It is a very addictive med. It is also a good med to take and can be very helpful for anxiety and manic episodes.

Meds and weight gain. Do not be afraid to take medications. They do not always cause weight gain. There are numerous and tons of medications that are weight neutral and your pdoc can place you on weight neutral mood stabilizers, antipsychotitcs, and antidepressants to prevent you from gaining a bunch of weight. So do not sweat it sweetie. Take the meds so you can stay stabilized. And, not all meds will cause a person to shake. It sounds like your brother might need his lithium adjusted.

There are some wonderful posts from the other gals to you with terrific advice. This forum has great people here that are very supportive. Post when you can.

Take care.

Coffeegirl
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