Awwwww.....((((((RONNNIE))))))!!! It wouldn't be right to tell you to be happy when you just can't feel that way. It's a bad moment and who says that you need to celebrate on a particular day!!

I say that you celebrate your birthday on a different day, on the day that you know the meds are doing their thing and that the time is coming that you truly have to celebrate. IT's all up to you....my daughter had her 15th birthday the day she was discharged from the hospital and to this day she refers to it as her worst birthday!!! We had her friends over and they spent the day with her but she still thinks it was the worst birthday. And now that you mention how you feel I better understand....and you know what, now that she is feeling better....I am going to mail out some invites to her friends and have her celebrate it all over again....so that she will have a great memory of her 15th birthday!!
I know that you have a daughter and kids just seem to really naturally help you through the darkest moments. So on Sunday ask her to make you a special picture and to give you some extra hugs and then go out for a walk together and look at all the things around you that are gifts that don't cost a thing....like the fresh breeze, warm sunshine and fresh rainfall if it is doing so. What I would do with my daughters is say a sentence and see if they could say another that would rhyme taking turns with who started!!
Anyway.....you ARE special and I hope that your day is as well spending it with your fiance and daughter.
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody