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Old 09-28-2006, 08:46 PM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Mendocino, California
Posts: 57
MendoMan101 HB User
Lost in life

Im so confused. I have never been diagnosed as Bipolar, but i seem to have every symptom listed. I wake up in the morning and feel great, hop out of bed, make coffe and start the day. The day goes great, I'm on top of the world, i completed the entire to-do list i wrote the night before. Im so excited about how wonderful my life is that i cant fall asleep for hours. I lie in bed until 3 AM and wake up and 7 AM.
Day2 The world is still great, but wait, WHy is the world great? no it isnt. the world is horrible. My life is too much, i cant manage all of this. I am afriad to talk to the clerk when i buy my gasoline so i can drive to work. I get to work and i am intimidated by the people on the construction crew i work with. The day is spent feeling pressured. I drive home feeling tired angry and sad. I am so lonely. I dont have a girlfreind, this makes me sad, Am i not good enough? I try to eat but the food is no longer appealing and i throw it do the dog. My life is so full of problems I cry myself to sleep.
Day3 i wake up and and get out of bed, I remember being depressed the night before but it makes no sense anymore. I feel great. The world is an opportunity for the taking, and i have to take it all, I am the one who will make things happen in the world. There is no reason to be afraid of anything, I can take on the entire world and win.

this is my life from day to day. right now i feel like im on day2 of that story. Is this farmilliar to anybody? is it bipolar?

 
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Old 09-28-2006, 10:25 PM   #2
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: quincy, wa, usa
Posts: 778
kiehn HB User
Re: Lost in life

Hi,
Welcome to the board, there are a lot of wonderful people here, they may not always catch every new comer but if they miss you this time they'll catch you next time. Post as much and as often as you feel up to it.
As for your symptoms well Im not an expert, but it sounds to me like you're
a rapid cycler which means moods can swing/change several times a day/week. Some poeple cycle slower some faster, some stay in depression and rarely cycle up but when they do it can be a hypo or manic state.
Talk with you doctor let him/her know you've done some research and and what your feeling are. In the mean time keep posting there are so many poeple here with different manners of advise and information etc. Hope to see you posting again, take care and let us know how thing going. K

 
Old 09-28-2006, 11:44 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 73
suzannecaroline HB User
Re: Lost in life!

I feel like that at times too.. but Id advise you not to jump into meds and doctors. I think finding the right doctor and medication is so imortant and many doctors like to prescribe powerful meds to people who come into their office complaining of bipolar symptoms. Just letting you know I know how you feel, but I cannot recommend what to do. Im feeling so lost as well

 
Old 09-29-2006, 04:01 AM   #4
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: london uk
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jgr01 HB User
Re: Lost in life

Hi Mendoman,

I'm a rapid cycling BP 1. Generally my phases come in 3month cycles, but right now I'm in a mixed phase, which is less severe in symptoms of either mania or depression, but is just as debilitating. Basically I can't see the future and the present is too terrible to bear. This makes it a very dangerous period. Telling us is start, but the next stage is definitely the doctor. But I agree that you shouldn't be fobbed off with meds right off; you need time to discuss your symptoms, your pleasures and your fears. Meds do work but they have to be right. Which can take some time. But you're certainly not alone

 
Old 10-09-2006, 01:47 AM   #5
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: auckland new zealand
Posts: 31
ok2day HB User
Re: Lost in life

Hi depression can be such a horrible thing that can at times make life not worth living. Living on your own can also be hell . If you haven't been diagnosed with Bp it may just be depression which can effect everyone sometime in there lifes. Not having a girlfriend who you can talk to must be hard just wait the right one will come along one day. Find something you really like to do and do it if you can afford it. Things will get better and this site is really good at least we can all get help from it and even though I don't know you I wish you all the best . When i'm really down I run a bath light a candle and listen to Chris Rea, it seems to help relax me. You need to get enough sleep each day otherwise you will burn out and thats no good . kind regards from new zealand 0k2day.

 
Old 10-09-2006, 10:31 AM   #6
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Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 138
makeworldgoaway HB User
Re: Lost in life

Hello Mendoman;
I am Schizoaffective, which is Schizophrenia & Bipolar II...and I rapid cycle & your story sounded so much like me-before diagnosis when I realized how quickly I would go from feeling like the most useless person in the world, & what was there to live for, etc, etc, & crying a lot and then jump to feeling pretty darn good, my life is swell, etc-sometimes in just a matter of an hour...well I thought that alone made me "nuts" because why the heck was I so very very blue & then feeling so great? How could that be? Absolutely nothing had changed since an hour ago when I felt so terrible, and it sure was great that I now felt great, but how could that be? It kind of drove me nuts just thinking about THAT! I guess we need to find the good in what we can & all I can say is at least I'm not depressed for days or weeks or months like some people are. Depression is just the worst thing...to not have hope, well how can you do anything feeling that way. You need a diagnosis but it sure sounds like rapid cycling Bipolar & I wanted you to know you're not alone.

 
Old 10-09-2006, 11:20 AM   #7
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Wales, UK
Posts: 465
Therag HB User
Re: Lost in life

This certainly sounds familiar. I can be on a high and really cheerfull one minute, the next minute really down.

 
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