so...for the past several yrs. i've experienced manic-like and depression symptoms. typically full-on in spring and fall. this last cycle has been the worst and i think i've noticed it more because i now i have a 10 mos. old son and husband. i had been seeing a therapist and psychiatrist for meds (no meds during pregnancy, but still the ups/downs in spring and fall). so no i started seeing a psychiatrist/therapist (does both psychanalytic therapy and is MD to prescribe).
i had a 2 mos. period of going to bed approx. 9-10 p.m. and up b/w midnight and 4a.m. this brought me to a primary care doc. to rule out physical symptoms...none found. so i sought the above combo. doc. and am now on neurontin (seems to be best for anxiety) and have been given zyprexa for night (sleep and to get me out of the hypomania or mania...don't know what it is). HELP ME GUYS!!! what do you think i have??? i fluctuate in moods nearly momentarily. my best and EXTREMELY productive mood is from 5a.m. until around 10 a.m. after that i crash into depression (tearful, hopeless, etc.) around 2p.m. the only thing keeping me going is my son. he's my utter JOY. no intention to hurt myself because i love him so much but if i were alone, i'd be a goner. i even had urges to shoplift today...what's that about???? i have no need to do so. also, last weekend (nighttime) drove around to try and find a psychic to help me. i don't do psychics. i'm confused, in pain and want to be medicated properly and just have a shot at getting in a better state. i'm afraid to come out of mania-like states because i HATE depression. so...there ya go. any thoughts from anyone more experienced than i am? oh, i'm also super thin...don't even think about eating and am 10 lbs. thinner than before i had my baby. food doesn't even look good...i just want the day to be over once about 2 p.m. hits.
i definitely had manias with the odd depression prior to the birth of my daughter 8 years ago. However, the birth brought on my first major dellusional mania. I too went from 9 1/2 stone to under 7 stone within 2 weeks of the birth. I couldn't sleep, didn't eat and took on major structural work to the house while my partner was at work or asleep at night! I had a case worker who misdiagnosed Post Natal depression; which I guess given the floods of tears I would have in the afternoon and complete withdrawal and inability to speak would suggest such....but what about the other symptoms I ask myself?!
Anyway, I still find my most active and 'happy' periods are between 5am - 11am. Especially when everyone else is in bed! Come lunchtime I begin to feel tired, lethargic, depressed and despairing. It helps to have friends come round, or force myself to go out. For you especially with a young baby which can feel very isolating. I challenge any mother to say she didn't actually get bored on her own with a young child. Can you not join a mothers group? As well as seek help with your mood swings. I'm sure you'll find other mothers with similar feelings of boredom and hence desparation.
your response was a delight. in the sense that i know i'm not just a !!! if you would share, do you have BP and what type? i can understand why i'm so manic in the a.m. when i can be ALONE and get things done for me...and of course all the house work i have to do along. my husband is a 'go off all meds they're bad' type of person, so he's not much help. and when i ask for an hr. or so w/out my little sweetpea to take a break and talk w/ a friend he complies, but in a way that he looks very annoyed. i'm seeing an excellent therapist/MD to prescribe and counsel me. we'll see. i just want to know what the diagnosis is so i can feel attached to something. i keep saying i hate labels, but now i want one so i can at least feel like i'm not making all of this up in my head. the paranoia and impulsivity around shopping and even a thought of shoplifting occurred!!! i would NEVER have done that before this mania. but...i don't want the depression to hit and now that he has me on zyprexa the tears are even coming in the a.m. (5 a.m. to be exact this morning). anyhow, thanks again. anymore advice would be helpful. maybe there is a female w/ children support group for bipolars in my area.
Motherhood is sooo difficult. What did you do before your little Sweetpea came along? I actually found going back to work against my case worker advice helped , then. There is certainly nothing wrong with realising you're not the mother next door who's whole life is baking cakes and hand washing nappies and making up lullabyes!
I did have symptoms before my daughter, but was so relieved when I got diagnosed. Ask any questions you like. Can't promise to know all the answers, but will always try.
Your hubby needs to try to be a bit more understanding - he may well be and you just can't see it because of how you feel. Then again he could be scared or still in the camp of anti-mental conditions.
thanks for your comments again. i did just go back to work (full-time) in june (when my little Mikey was 7 mos. old) and i definitely found that working was less strenuous (on my poor wasting away body) than staying home w/ him. i love him dearly, but i am not the 'mom next door' who can stay w/out adult contact and career. so...things were great until aug.--mid-aug. when the mania/no sleep and crazy behaviors began. this lasted until early sept. when i finally sought some help (ruled out physical issues) and am now playing chemistry set w/ my brain and am on neurontin (which does help w/ anxiety), i just started zyprexa at night for sleep and to get out of the mania, and have ativan if i need it for anxiety. since i seem to be sleeping better now for the last 3 days, my psych. added wellbutrin, which i've been on before and has seemed to help. that's the scoop. he can't dig into any 'therapy' until i stabilize w/ what's going on in my head. but i LOVE having the mania and not sleeping and getting things done, but now i'm crashing pretty hard and cry a lot and just keep thinking i'm a bad mommy for wanting to be at work, but then miss him when i'm there, then when i'm w/ him all day on the weekends, i just need like 1 hr. alone and my husband can be a real jerk about it (or i take it in that way...more likely).
so that's the latest. i asked my psych. today what i 'had' and he said you're just dealing w/ a serotonin and norepinephrine imbalance (no labels). i want a label so i know i'm not just making things up.
sorry to ramble. but thank you for your comments...particularly about the work thing and not being a bad mommy for wanting to be a working mom. it helps my brain, which ultimately helps my relationship w/ baby mikey. so again, thank you much. now it's time to make bobbies and take the zyprexa (this should be a quote in some book of insanity...or a dark comedy of sorts ; ).
What Type Of Bp Do I Have???? 
Re: What Type Of Bp Do I Have???? 
!!! if you would share, do you have BP and what type? i can understand why i'm so manic in the a.m. when i can be ALONE and get things done for me...and of course all the house work i have to do along. my husband is a 'go off all meds they're bad' type of person, so he's not much help. and when i ask for an hr. or so w/out my little sweetpea to take a break and talk w/ a friend he complies, but in a way that he looks very annoyed. i'm seeing an excellent therapist/MD to prescribe and counsel me. we'll see. i just want to know what the diagnosis is so i can feel attached to something. i keep saying i hate labels, but now i want one so i can at least feel like i'm not making all of this up in my head. the paranoia and impulsivity around shopping and even a thought of shoplifting occurred!!! i would NEVER have done that before this mania. but...i don't want the depression to hit and now that he has me on zyprexa the tears are even coming in the a.m. (5 a.m. to be exact this morning). anyhow, thanks again. anymore advice would be helpful. maybe there is a female w/ children support group for bipolars in my area.
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Re: What Type Of Bp Do I Have???? 
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