jgr01

when i was initially diagnosed my pdoc (who was the best i've had of about 6), told me it would take 12-18 months to actually understand, who I was and what I was feeling. Not that the meds weren't working, because generally mood stabilsers have a short half life, meaning they take effect very quickly. However, you're having to come to terms with many emotional and physical changes. Essentially, if you read between the lines they are saying to you that your behaviour prior to meds was not the behaviour of the everyday person, and yet for many years you believed you were, 'normal' 'rational' 'knew your own mind and decision making capabilities'. Seeking help with the pdoc indicates that you yourself came at least to a recognition that maybe everything about you wasn't quite right. But, it's still an enormous emotional rollercoaster of learning who you are, again. You WILL, question every emotion. am i high, am i down, is the decision or thought i am having this moment the right one based on what i'm doing right now. It's really difficult and confusing. Don't expect an overnight fix. What you're experiencing is normal!