I Need Help Or Advice. I Have Been Reading Alot Of The Comments Posted And Decided To Join. My Daiughter Is 7 And Bp Type 1 And Manic Dep. She Was Dx At 5. We Have Gone Through What I Call The Medicine Merry Go Round. Everything Seems Out Of Control For Our Family. A Med Works For Her And We Thank The Lord, Then 2 Months Go By And We Have Increases, And Meds Added, On And On. I Have Been Reassured That This Is Common With This Disease And To Get Used To It And From Reading Responses On This Site That Iss True. Ok Here Is My Problem (1 Of Them) Where Do You Draw The Line. She Is On Abilify 5 Mg 4 Times A Day, Clonidine 1 Mg 4 Times A Day, And Now We Got Lamictal Started. I Look On The Internet And Read These Really Horrible S/e Of These Meds. One Day Is The Dr Going To Tell Me "well, Her Bipolar Is Controlled, But Now She Has Liver Damage And Other Irreversible Damage." I Lay In Bed And Cry Every Night Not Knowing If Im Doing The Right Thing Or Not, I Just Know The Meds Work For Her And Make Her Feel Better. I Feel Dammed If I Do And Dammed If I Dont. Please Let Me Know If Anyone Has Gone Through This.
Yes, my family has gone through this. My mother, 73 yrs old, was diagnosed bipolar in 1992. (I knew something was wrong in 1968! But my father was against getting her any help) I took her to a psychiatrist in 1992 & he told me that since she had not been treated all that time, that she may not be able to be helped. Well, over the past few years she has been on Lithium, anticonvulsants, antidepressants, and all of the antianxiety meds there are. Thank the Lord, the last 6 months she has been much better. Right now she is on Neurontin, Zyprexa, Lexapro & all her blood pressure and diabetes drugs. I kept sending them bottles of Omega 3 fish oil & finally when the visiting nurse said that Omega 3 would help my mother feel better, my mother did start to take that also. I believe Omega 3 really did help her.
My father finally decided to cooperate & has kept a journal of all of her hospitalizations, drs, and the drugs that she could not tolerate & Abilify was one. Different drugs work for different people. My mother does have some side effects, like a tremor in her right arm, but they are not severe and even go away sometimes. The caretaker of a person with bipolar needs to remember to take care of themselves. I understand the hurt & pain you are going through & I pray that you will find a dr that will help with the drug treatment plan and also listen to you--the caregiver. You are doing a good job. May your daughter get the help she needs--that is my prayer for you.
Hang in there. You are not alone.
sorry for what you are having to deal with here,i know how much having a child on wayyy too many meds can be.my youngest recieved a liver transplant seven and a half years ago and also was Dxed a couple years ago with bi polar III,that added four new meds to the five that he was already on.yea,it really really sucks.i do feel for you there.unfortunetly,you have to go with kind of the lessor of the two evils.geez,just some of my sons actual anti rejection meds can also cause kidney and liver damage.go figure.he also has a kidney disease as well.yea it can keep you awake nights for sure.
i am just rather curious as to how they actually Dxed a bi polar disorder in a five year old?and manic depression?could you tell me a bit more on that part?thanks,FB
Long Story Short. When She Was 2, Drs Told Me " Oh Terrible 2's, Then Oh Terrible 3's, 4's" And So On, Then I Took Her To Several Drs That Said Oh She Has Adhd-add, They Gave Her Those Meds And They Did Not Work, Then It Got Worse And Her Moods Were Everywhere And They Tried Abilify And All Of It Stopped For A Time And Thats Where I Realized The Key Phrase Is Stopped For A Time, Drs Say Increase This, Add This, Try This, More Labs, Pet Scans, Etc...
Hi....welcome to the boards!! And to a mother's fears and frustrations of having to accept this terrible disorder. I am going through similar fears and have found great comfort here amongst other moms and people who have Bipolar helping me through all of this.
What you are experiencing is normal for a mom....all of a sudden our world is thrown upside down...we know something is wrong and the rug is pulled beneath our feet and we are bouncing between our own instincts versus the reality of it all.
The thing is....you are not alone!!! AND Bipolar IS treatable and one of the very few mental illnesses that is.....the worst part of it all is that it is not something we can see or fix as easy as a physical illness.
There is an array of feelings and emotions involved when first given this diagnosis. When our child has a physical illness, such as diabetes or pneumonia....the docs know how to treat it and our family and friends can see it and we get more support because they understand it. However, with Bipolar it isnt quite that simple or easy.....getting the child stabilized does not happen overnight. And what works for one child may not necessarily work for the next. So there is no quick fix....it is a long drawn out process that us moms have the most difficult time accepting because when it comes to our kids we want it to be all better NOW!!
The thing is, you must be your daughter's advocate and do as much research as you can. I felt the same exact way about the meds....thing is you are lucky that your daughter is being treated so early. The sooner she is treated the better off she will be. My daughter ended up being arrested and was putting herself in unsafe situations. You are at an advantage since your daughter is young enough to teach and to learn how to accept this as part of her life and live a fairly normal life.
There are tons of books out there for both you and your daughter to understand all of this. Take a trip to your library...knowledge is power and the more you learn about Bipolar the more power you have to help your daughter. "The Bipolar Child" by Demitri Papolos is a great start.
YOu must remember that all meds have side effects...unfortunately the ones for Bipolar have more but I keep in mind what the pyschiatrist told me, that an unmedicated child is at a far worse risk than a medicated one.
Take a deep breath and know that there are many out there walking in simialr shoes. Visit the Bipolar Forum here.....there are a bunch of other parents feeling very similar to you....some are a little bit ahead of you like myself who can help you along the way. IT isn't a fun journey but knowing that you are not alone sure makes it less scary and easier to travel.
(((HUGS))) from one mom to another ~ Goody
Last edited by goody2shuz; 10-05-2006 at 09:26 AM.
Thank You, I Feel Very Alone With This. I Have Never Talked To Another Person That Has Gone Through This. People Around You Will Say " Are The Drs Sure This Is What Is Wrong, Mabey She Just Really Moody, Have You Tried Changing Her Diet?" And I Just Want To Strangle Them. I Am Fortunate To Catch This At A Young Age Per The Dr's. That Does Not Make It Any Easier (or I Feel That Way). My Whole Life, Her Life And My Family Has Been Consumed And Changed By This. To Top It All Off I Am A Nurse, But When It Is Your Own Child It Is Very Different. I Quit My Job To Be At Her Beacon Call. The School Calls Me I Drop Everything And Go Up There To Help Them Cope With Her. We Moved From The City To A Little Town So She Could Be A Small Class And Get More Attention And Less Distraction Stimulations. We Have Changed Her Whole Life. I Get Scared If She Goes To A Friends House I Have To Send All These Meds And Explain To Them How And Why To Administer Them, So We Have Just Decided Not To Go Many Places Unless It Is With Us, So We Done Have To Worry. Does This All Sound Familiar And Does It Sound Like Im Doing The Right Thing????????
Hi, Abcd Just checking in again and apologize for not responding sooner than this. As I said, you ARE NOT alone!! And I truly understand your concerns and fears....I worked in Pediatrics and thought something like this would be easy to handle but unlike a physical disease that has a specific treatment that works rather quickly, Bipolar is a whole different thing. There is so much more involved in trying to find the right meds and learning how to reduce the triggers that even when on meds will offset things. I know what you mean about feeling like your daughter's advocate....it is a full-time job in itself trying to get them well.
The only thing I can advise you to be careful of is allowing your daughter to use Bipolar as a crutch. We still have to teach them to be responsible and that there are consequences to their actions and behavior. They have the capability to wear you down especially since they tend to be in "mission mode" alot of the time. That is, they want what they want no matter what you or anybody else may think. The meds do help with this considerably....before my daughter was medicated she would do almost anything to get her way. She would lie, manipulate, argue, curse, run away etc. in order to have things go her way. Now, she is able to be reasoned with as a matter of fact she was not able to see her friends this weekend for having detention in school and wanted to go out and get new sneakers and ******** a program for music on the computer that cost money and we told her no....that those were things to be earned. Well...she didn't like it and complained a little bit but she accepted it and realized that she wasn't going to get it. Months ago she would have done everything and anything to make us feel as miserable as she did. And then go about finding a way of getting it as well.
It will get better. Our kids need consistency and clearly defined expectations, consequences and rewards for good behavior.
As far as school goes, do your best to get whatever provisions are necessary and that she is entitled to by law via an IEP or 504 plan. If she is not functional within a regular school with special ed services in place then you may want to look into an alternative school, one that is therapeutically equipped to handle her educational, emotional, and mental needs. I know it is difficult to provide what is best for our kids but it is up to us to make sure that their emotional well being is of highest priority. Making friends and keeping them is difficult for a Bipolar child so my advice would be to have as many social interactions at your home as possible with exceptions when things are going well with those that she is closest with whose parents you trust to take care of her needs. You cannot keep her sheltered from everything, our job is to teach them about this disorder and how they can keep themselves well, that is, by taking their meds, eating well, getting good sleep, exercising, and staying away from stressful situations as much as possible. To shield them from what normally should go on in life would only impede their progress.
Another thing you need to do is take good care of yourself and your relationship with your spouse. While going through this crisis there was very little time for hubby and I. We just recently discovered how this has affected our relationship and are trying to put aside more time for ourselves now. WE should have done so sooner but in the midst of it all we found ourselves quite exhausted. But it is so important to recharge yourself so that you can deal with whatever comes ahead.
I hope that things improve soon....stabilization is what we look for and once that comes things will be so much easier. Hang in there and know that we are here for you even if you just need to vent.
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody
Last edited by goody2shuz; 10-15-2006 at 06:59 PM.
I am so sorry to hear this.
I m in the same situation with my 8 yr. old son.
I almost had a breakdown over all this.
Can not help but wonder what is happening to there little brais that are still developing. good luck do what you believe in.
I wonder the same, I keep on trying to worry about today and not tommorow for her, but it is hard to picture a wonderful life for her with all the meds, dr's, psychitrist, etc.. Then I read about bipolar teens. I don't feel like there is much to look foward to for her. I read alot of success stories and at the end there is the "But" at the end. Its day by day for us. I never know who is getting off the school bus or who is waking up (as far as moods). Everyday is different, Lord every hour is different in our house. How is your son? And what were you signs to lead you up to this point with him? I am waiting for someone to send me a message and say "oh, its not bipolar its bloodsugar problems or my child had this and it was really easy to fix" I am still in denial I guess or I am hanging on to hope for her by a shoe string.
My daughter is now going on 16 . she has been like this since birth moody demanding non verbal mostly wa wa wa was her communication. I must say that I was lucky for me that I came up with the 1,2,3, method for her demands and tantrums,,,,,, it worked at the age of 5 it can also work for you and give you time for YOU.......because its all about them 24, 7......try 123 say 1 2 wait don.t go too 3... just use it never take it to the end... or you loose it 1 2 2 1/2 act like you are ready to come by walking in place and see what transpires ....there is quiet..... for awhile long enough for you to have a time out...... most needed for us the caregiver.......then come to the child when they are not ion demand mode and then sommunicate.... try to get close its not always easy but it will make all the differance....... be careful not to wear perfume or smell ..... of food or whatever because you will hear of it and it may hurt your feelings don.t let it ......Funny thing we as mothers have rights to ....reminding them is useless.... Just you not forget about YOU..........see about your girl writing a journal........as private as you can ...it can also be an avenue for you later to check on her.......without invading her space its there incase.....tooo many meds is what I see.. Paxil caused my daughter at 8 to come after me with knives.....I had to hide them I still do.......habit... Plus my family does not treat my hinkles well ....broken tips and all.....I wondered if when we got home will she be spattered on the cement 6 floors down ......that never happened but the fear is always there........remember take time for you.....its not very much fun raisibg a demanding not happy child.........take her fishing .......Ali likes to fish with her Dad......
Last edited by moonbeam22; 10-17-2006 at 02:49 PM.