Being a nasty b*tch---part of bipolar?? - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

frozeninside · 10-05-2006, 07:56 PM

So my "friend" called me tonight and before she got the chance to say three words I said, "I'm in a bad mood and I really don't feel like doing anything or going anywhere, okay???"

Earlier, my other friend, who I guess I consider my best friend (but who also has depression and can be a royal pain) was trying to get me to go out to the bar with her and some other people. I outright said, "bars, and the people that go to bars are nasty, and I don't have the money for that **** anymore." (I rarely will swear, something has come over me) She was so persistent, telling me that this guy I spoke with once and thought was cute would be there, I was like, "that's nice, doesn't help." I don't remember what else I said but I pretty much blew her off and felt GREAT doing it.

Just now, I let her know how upset I was at the fact that our mutual friend had called me after I said I was NOT going to be joining them in doing anything.

I'm just blowing up and letting everything spew everywhere and I don't care how it makes anyone else feel.

benny-T · 10-05-2006, 11:01 PM

I have been noticing a similar thing in my gf of 3 months. I find it very frustrating when she gets in these moods.

nicknamechoice · 10-06-2006, 06:19 AM

a little bit of nostalgia just crept up when I read your message. I remember doing similar things. I'd put it down to being a straight talker as opposed to being a bad ***** but we all rationalise our behaviour to suit ourselves, especially prior to diagnosis.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling the way you are at the moment and I suppose that being bp it's not going to be the last time either but there might come a time when your friends stop putting themselves in the way of your tongue. I speak from experience - although I come from a large family, I get more calls from people trying to sell me stuff than I do from family.

Friends are different - all involved choose to be involved but I always remember the quote "will we make a new rulle from tonight? let's try to be a little kinder than we need be." So I have developed a few standard phrases like "I would have loved to have come but I'm not feeling too great and I wouldn't be very good company. let's get together some other time soon".

I don't mean this to be a "you're out of order" message just a gentle nudge that your friends still want to be friends and spend time with you - don't leave yourself isolated.

NutshellNutter · 10-06-2006, 08:22 AM

Hi Frozen inside,
Ummmm... sounds like me.... I completely identify with you. I don't know how this is going to go down on the board but I would say 'don't be too hard on yourself'. It is only after I have 'come down' out of that sort of behaviour that I realise what I said and how it must have looked.

My good friends (not many!!) know when I'm not the actual 'Nut' and see past it. Whilst I know this isn't a reason to do it, the thing is I'm really not 'at home' when I am soooooooo nasty.

Hopefully your friends can see it in you too, even when you can't....

Nut.

jgr01 · 10-06-2006, 08:39 AM

Hi Frozen,

yes yes yes. I am like that. I really hate it. Do you friends know about your condition and more importantly understand it? it's not an excuse and I also say things like (I wouldn't be good company, or simply don't answer the phone / door!). My friends know what I'm like. I try not to isolate myself but *** I have wittled my friends down to a few; some aquaintancies I reach out for when I'm feeling good, but the real ones just accept sometimes I may be a little over the top.