I don't know who to ask about this. I can't get in to see my doctor for another 3 weeks, so I thought this might be a place to look. Basically I'm taking wellbutrin for major depression but lately have been experiencing somewhat manic symptoms. I suspect it was probably brought on by the wellbutrin, but from what I've read about bipolar disorder that seems to fit me more than major depression. Numerous antidepressants have been ineffective at treating me for more than a year or so. I'm exhausted and wondering if the reason I can't get better is because I've been misdiagnosed.
Here goes my long story:
I've always felt bad since I was a kid; I knew that other people were happier than I was and it frustrated me. I was an hostile child that was prone to mood swings and physically assaulting friends and family when provoked. I was diagnosed with major depression when I was 14 (I'm now 21) and I've been through several antidepressants that have "stopped working". I started taking Wellbutrin last November and it was great right away. I started feeling good, I could get out of bed every morning and came out of the foggy feeling of depression. I felt good for a while and in April or May I started really feeling fantastic. I was going out with friends every night and exercising every day. Spring and summer quarters at school I 13 credits while working 30 hours a week. I remember thinking that I couldn't remember ever feeling as good as I did then. I also remember thinking "wow I'm talking a lot", and often I would give too much personal information to people I didn't know very well. I found that sometimes I would talk and talk and sometimes I would have to stop midsentence and search my mind for the right word. And while I thought I always made perfect sense my friends would often tell me otherwise.
Then around August I started feeling weird. I still had energy, unlike when I was depressed, but my mood changed. 70% of the time I feel great and optimistic, and 30% of the time I'm consumed with rage. The tiniest thing will set me off which leads to me screaming and throwing things, usually at someone completely undeserving like the cat. It's become a problem at work. Sometimes I'll lose it when I'm there and end up storming out in the middle of the day and sometimes I'm so angry in the morning that I don't even make it to work. It's a problem while driving also. I take chances that are obviously dangerous, like passing in the righthand shoulder or while going up a hill. My inability to find the right word has gotten worse, and now sometimes my sentences will just drop-off in the middle and after a minute I'll have to start up again with "what was I just saying?". Which leads to the problem with concentrating. I can't focus, especially on reading, which is a problem in school. While I was taking 13 credits spring and summer, I'm now failing the 8 credits I'm in.
Does any of this sound like symptoms you've had? And I'm wondering if anyone was diagnosed as bipolar after an original diagnosis of major depression. I might be way off track here, but I've felt terrible my whole life and I'm just looking for answers.
Re: sick of feeling terrible- might this be bipolar?
OMG, Holly, I could have written that entire story--minus the success on the Wellbutrin. I also have been misdiagnosed as major depression since I was a kid, although, like you, exhibited MANY signs of being a bipolar child. I JUST got diagnosed as bipolar II last month, FINALLY, and it came as such a relief. But all those things that you find yourself doing, passing people on the road--I almost have a phobic reaction to being blocked inbetween cars and have to get out of it quickly--and the rage, taking on too many projects at once, and school, same thing. I did 15 credit hours while working full time, and when at work, I would take on enormous loads of work and get it done, but then couldn't keep up the pace once the hypomanic stage passed. It was awful. I finally ended up quitting my job after a close nervous breakdown, which led me to the pdoc and then to my diagnosis. I would definitely keep that appointment and tell your doctor everything, and your suspicions about being bipolar, because you definitely sound bipolar to me, but probably bipolar II, like I am, because you don't have the severe symptoms of psychosis during your manic episodes like some bipolar I cases.
