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distroyed 10-10-2006 07:16 AM

hi
 
Hey guy's!
haven't been here in a while. wife is doing the outpatient thing. It is sad because I kinda gave up. there was just too much damage done. of course I care about her well being, but the feelings just aren't the same.
Any one know what the "love Bank is"? well my is compleatly empty. it took almost a year of her constantly with drawing from me, to finally empty me out. I am not excepting deposits from her, account closed! I actually put my arms up and decided I wasn't going to get hurt anymore. I feel alot stonger and my smile and laugh that has been gone for so long has finally returned. I have the kids (still with me) on a great routine and we have so much fun together. I'm pretty sure that you are supposed to laugh and have fun with life especially when your a little kid. I will do anyhing to make sure my kids are safe and happy.
anyway the wife is trying to get me back, I have taken her in so many times over the past year and held her and told her everything would be ok, I cant do or say that anymore. She wants me to fix everything again and be her streangth, but I have done that so many time and I just got hurt over and over again. Why would it be any different this time. I understand Bipolar and have deep sympathy for her, but I am no use to anyone if I am constantly getting knocked down. over the past couple of weeks I feel as though I am getting some streanght back, I will not be kicked around and I am no ones second choice! My friends and family have noticed and have stated that the old me, the one who is alway smiling and laughing is coming back. I think that's a good thing.

jgr01 10-10-2006 07:31 AM

Re: hi
 
:D Well good for you. I'm sorry it didn't work out, but it IS YOUR LIFE TOO! Good luck :wave:

coffeegirl2 10-10-2006 09:22 AM

Re: hi
 
It is sad to hear that things did not work out for you and your wife. It is good though, that you are living life for you again. That is what matters now. Living a life for you and your kids. :) You are a great dad~

Take care.

Coffeegirl

rosequartz 10-10-2006 09:30 AM

Re: hi
 
good for you distroyed.....your strength will get you through this.
you did all you could possibly do.....it's out of your hands.
you gave it your all, you can't feel bad about anything......you tried.
I'm sorry it didn't have the desired outcome, but you did not lose yourself (which would have been very easy to do).
I'm glad to hear you're smiling again.......stay strong. It will get better.
:angel:

Wizard of Oz 10-10-2006 10:30 AM

Re: hi
 
Distroyed, Congrats. Believe me I know it's hard but isn't it nice to smile once in a while. I am so happy for you and your kids. I feel so sorry for your wife, my wife and the spouses/SO of BP's. It's a terrible thing. God Bless...Oz :)

Kymberlee 10-10-2006 12:31 PM

Re: hi
 
Mark, Glad to hear that you are taking care of yourself and your kids! You all deserve that! And, yes, you deserve to smile and laugh OUT LOUD sometimes! It's just good for our souls!!! :cool: Keep onward, good friend! Kim.:D


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