It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Bipolar Disorder Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-10-2006, 07:29 PM   #1
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 20
sparkleeyes26 HB User
Arrow New to the board

Well hi to the regulars.
I am a 26 yr old living in hell.I suffer from bp with ptsd ,
ocd and severe anxiety.
My life went from being completely normal to a living nightmare out of no where.
I get all the proper help.
After I had kids it just seems like I lost a part of me and it never came back.
I go to therapy and take several meds.
However I feel like crap.
I have managed to erase everyone out of my life.
I fear my husband will be next when he touches me I want to throw up.
I love him so much and want him to be close to me.
Everything feels tainted and I have attacks and black out.
My moods are never stable I don't even know what happy and sad are anymore.
I am so numb to myself the family and the whole world.
Iam suffering everyday I stick it out for my kids I love them so.
My only question is what if I don't make it.
I need a friend.
__________________
sparkleeyes26,we must believe.

 
Old 10-10-2006, 07:42 PM   #2
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Grand Rapids, Mi
Posts: 6
treadingh2o HB User
Re: New to the board

It will get better. Or atleast I hope.

Last edited by treadingh2o; 10-10-2006 at 07:48 PM. Reason: posted twice

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 10-10-2006, 07:44 PM   #3
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Grand Rapids, Mi
Posts: 6
treadingh2o HB User
Re: New to the board

I am new too. I don't know what ptsd, or having kids is like. But I can be your friend, I'll listen. (oh and I don't mean that in any type of creepy way) I know what it is like to feel like that. To loose everyone in your life, not as though you want to but you can't shake it, and slowly but surely people stop calling, and don't stop by anymore. Worse yet, the people closest to you want to help but don't know how. I don't even know how to help myself. Otherwise I would, I'm not stupid. Its hard too, I have never been very social, people love me but only when I manic. I have my best friend and thats it when I am down. I am loosing my life too. I am sure you know what that feels like. I lost control in school, work, my social life and even finances. I just get so tired. I am constantly sick, and just feel like giving up and not getting out of bed. Sometimes its like laughing and crying at the same time. Its hard. Anyways, welcome. Hopefully we will find what we are looking for: hope. Best wishes.

 
Old 10-10-2006, 10:34 PM   #4
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: auckland new zealand
Posts: 31
ok2day HB User
Re: New to the board

Hi I have at times felt the same way,yes and our kids do keep us going. I never had anyone to talk to I went to a bp help group twice but didn't like it. I have been on only 2 drugs lithum , melleril and not at the same time. I need to get lots of sleep and when I can't get enough I know sooner or later I will become high. It would be so easy for us all if they had a drug that let us get a little high and let us stay there .My life would be so much easier. You are not alone and I will listen to you as well. This is such a neat site only found it about a month ago and it does help. Just remember a friend is only a computer away so don't give up at the end of a black tunnel there is light even if you can't see it kind regards from New Zealand ok2day

 
Old 10-11-2006, 10:02 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 664
coffeegirl2 HB User
Re: New to the board

When was the last time you visited with your pdoc for a med check? It sounds like you might need an adjustment with your meds?

Also, with PTSD, usually, therapy is a great way to cope. Therapy helps combat the triggers that are associated with the PTSD. Writing in a journal will also help with the PTSD. It will help you understand what is causing the PTSD, and the blackouts. You wouldn't have to write tons, just a few lines every day enough to see what you are feeling and experiencing each day to follow your moods.

When a person suffers from anxiety, it is a very touchy situation, let alone, Bipolar Disorder. I too, have Social Anxiety Disorder/Agoraphobia. It is itself- a disaster at times and can be debiliating, not always; sometimes. Each day I take at a time, and that is how I live my life. A new day and let go of yesterday. It is gone. Don't worry about tomorrow- it isn't here yet. Just focus on today. Take each hour at a time..... and take each step one step of event you do of a daily task at a time. It will help you get through the day so the tasks aren't so daunting. It is a hard thing to do when you have anxiety problems, but it can be defeated. I still struggle, but a few years ago I wasn't able to leave the house without severe panic attacks, drive the car without emotional distress and severe nausea- or ride in it, etc let alone- go to a grocery store without freaking out. Now I am a lot better- still now and then will have a problem, but nothing like I did.

During that time frame, I didn't want my DH to touch me as well. It was strange. I loved him dearly- didn't want him to come near me. Didn't want anyone to come near me! Then I turned manic. It was a nightmare. So, beware. You could possibly be turning into some hypomanic symptoms if you aren't careful- which is why it would be a good idea to contact your pdoc. They would be in the best position to determine what is the best way to treat you right now, and what is going on with you at the current time. The more honest you are with them with everything, the more helpful it will be to diagnosis the situation.

Sometimes things get tougher after having a family. That was when things became more difficult for me with my illness. It has to do with the stress level. Think about before you had your children. Things were much easier- less stress, responsibility, and more free time and lots more sleep! Don't you wish you could bottle some of that sleep back up!

Well, you take care now. I hope this post finds you feeling a little better. Not sure what time it is on your end of the ocean. Where I'm at it is lunch time.

Coffeegirl
__________________
a loving heart is the truest wisdom

 
Old 10-11-2006, 05:43 PM   #6
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 20
sparkleeyes26 HB User
Re: New to the board

Thank you I really need that right now.
__________________
sparkleeyes26,we must believe.

 
Old 10-12-2006, 03:55 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 664
coffeegirl2 HB User
Re: New to the board

Hi Sparkleyes

How are you doing today?

Just checking in.

Coffeegirl
__________________
a loving heart is the truest wisdom

 
Old 10-15-2006, 10:37 AM   #8
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Falls Church, Virginia
Posts: 11
honest_tea HB User
Re: New to the board

Hi. I'm new here too (been lurking but this is my first post). I can relate to you sparkleeyes. I'm bipolar I and have general anxiety. I'm married, but don't have kids. This week has been hard for me. I spent a few days in the hospital because I was thinking of killing myself. I'm now in partial hospital monday - friday 9 am - 3 pm. At first I hated it, but I look forward to it. I'm still trying to find the right meds for me. I've also been looking for someone to talk to. I feel so bad right now. I'm about to go out for a walk and hopefully get some of this anger/agression out. I wish you the best of luck and hope you find treatment that works for you. Stay strong and YOU WILL MAKE IT.

Take care.

 
Old 10-15-2006, 06:08 PM   #9
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 20
sparkleeyes26 HB User
Re: New to the board

Yeah I hope so.
Hi to everyone.
__________________
sparkleeyes26,we must believe.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Site suggestions and suggestions for new board topics >> Administrator Suggestions for New Boards 0 02-10-2007 11:31 AM
All over the Board!! Jenetti HealthBoards Testimonials 0 09-26-2004 03:41 AM
Board Eligible vs Board Certified Sara5678 Back Problems 4 09-12-2004 02:32 AM
Use of this board...... moderator2 Registration/Membership/Site Problems 1 09-11-2003 09:01 AM
Board Use Reminder moderator2 Registration/Membership/Site Problems 13 05-16-2003 09:13 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added




Top 10 Drugs Discussed on this Board.
(Go to DrugTalk.com for complete list)
Abilify
Depakote
Lamictal
Lexapro
Lithium
  Prozac
Seroquel
Wellbutrin
Zoloft
Zyprexa




TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



reesie (68), katlin09 (59), Administrator (24), TinoRock (14), bprapcyc (10), thatgirl141 (7), lynnlee (6), annii456 (4), ghelpmelivelife (4), tinkerbell45 (3)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1004), Apollo123 (904), Titchou (847), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (759), ladybud (754), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (668), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:37 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!