Kathy and all
I am here to tell you how great it is to make the time for one another NO MATTER WHAT!!!
This weekend we had Erin on lockdown for getting detention at school. The therapist told us to prepare ourselves for her trying her best to wear us down, and she did, but we stood strong. She tried to get us to take her out shopping to get her new state of the art sneakers that she didn't need, to collect her allowance that she didn't earn, and to ******** a program for music that you would have to pay for...hubby almost caved, in fact he went to hand her allowance, however, when I reminded him of what she did and didn't do to earn it and he shoved it back into his pocket. (If I could only get him to play "bad cop' once in a while, things would be so much better!!)
Hubby suggested we take a ride and I invited Erin along.....she went into how she could get her sneakers and I quickly told her that I had been invited by hubby to get out for a while and that it was my time and we would not be shopping for her!! She pouted and I told her that I wasn't interested in a nasty attitude and if things were going to be that way then she could just stay home. And that she did!!!
We kissed her goodbye and hubby and I decided to hit the bowling alley.
We hadn't bowled in years (as was demonstrated in the two games that we bowled) but as we bowled frame to frame you could see the transformation. Hubby even got a gutter ball and I kissed him telling him it was all worth it just having the opportunity of seeing him line it all up and how sexy he looked doing it!!!
The place was fairly empty and the staff was giggling at us and enjoying the show!!!
Anyway....both hubby and I bowled pitifully and when we saw what it cost we were both
shocked and came to the realization of how long it had been since we got ourselves out!! When hubby commented on the bill I recited the Mastercard commercial and got to the end stating....."Spending time with your spouse....." and we both looked at each other smiling shouting in unison,......"PRICELESS!!!!"
Yes, leaving Erin for the few hours and taking care of us was much needed. Hubby promised that he would make a point of doing it more often and promised that we would get me to break a 100 next time we bowled!!!
When we returned home we found that Erin was in a much better mood to match our own. We shared our pitiful bowling abilities with her and we all smiled. And I couldn't help but think how she was just as happy as we were to see that her parents had taken the time to go out together....something she hasn't seen of us in quite sometime!!
I cannot tell you how much a few hours out with one another turned things around for hubby & I. It is a habit that I could see us getting very much into.
The problem will be backsliding into the same old pattern but I am going to try my darndest not to let that happen.
I know how difficult it is to find the time for one another through all of this but yesterday reminded me of all that we have been missing and how easily we can forget about our needs parenting a Bipolar child. It didn't take much and yes it was a little difficult to leave Erin alone, but we did it....she is 15 and the way I saw it was that we were drowning, hubby and I, and needed to throw one another than life ring. And boy am I glad that we did!!!
Kathy....go out with hubby even if it is just for an hour. Do something with one another that you haven't done in a while. And enjoy the reality that there is something very precious that needs taking care of. Denise & Pippin I expect the same from you and all you other parents who have Bipolar children or kids with chronic illnesses. It all puts quite a toll on a relationship and it isn't surprising that so many marriages and friendships suffer through it. I guarantee you will be glad you took the intiative.
I admit that yesterday I was as nervous, if not more, as I was going out on our very first date. I didn't know what to expect but like our first date all turned out to be wonderful!!!
Go....I know you won't regret it!!! And let's stick around and remind one another to take care of ourselves and the realtionships around us!!! I am counting on that!!!
(((HUGS))) ~ Goody