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Old 10-15-2006, 12:04 PM   #1
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Tiny Dancer HB User
Question Confused

I was diagnosed with bi-polar 6 weeks ago. I thought I was okay with the diagnosis, but my meds are still not quite balanced and my depression seems to be ruling the roost at the moment. I feel I've been searching for an answer, got one and now don't want to label myself. Any advice from anyone would be really helpful right now. I'm desperate to get to grips with myself and sort it out. The depression times are so lonely and confusing. I feel my baby is suffering because of me. I feel I'm not strong enough after all to deal with this. Help!!

 
Old 10-15-2006, 12:35 PM   #2
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goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
Re: Confused

Hi, Tiny Dancer (((HUGS))) and a big welcome. This is a great place to come and I hope that you get as much comfort as I have from all the wonderful boarders here.

I have a 15 year old daughter who was just recently diagnosed and we are trying to get her meds straight as well. And getting use to the diagnosis and learning to embrace it is not an easy thing to do either. All I can say is hang in there and over time it will get better.

The meds do take time to work and sometimes they need to be changed in order to find the ones that will work best for you. You are only 6 weeks into treatment and it takes at least a few months to know if the meds are really working sometimes even longer.

May I ask what meds you are on?? If you are still feeling depressed be sure to discuss this with your doctor so that he may make any necessary adjustments.

Anyway...a big welcome and congratulations on accepting the help that you need...you have overcome the toughest hurdle and things will get better so long as you take the time to work with your doctor in finding the right med combo for yourself.

((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody

Last edited by goody2shuz; 10-15-2006 at 12:41 PM.

 
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Old 10-15-2006, 02:47 PM   #3
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coffeegirl2 HB User
Re: Confused

Tiny Dancer

Who do you have for support to lean on? It is hard when one is first diagnosed with this illness. Not an easy thing to cope with, hearing those words- 'And, you have a mental illness called -BIPOLAR DISORDER!' Yes, it freaked me out too.

But, on the flip side, it made me realize, you know, I have some really good things to offer society. It made me come to grips with who I am as a person and look inside of myself during the darkest moments. That was when I too, was at my deepest depression. I looked inward and realized what did I have to lose? Nothing. I had everything to gain. Life was really good and I didn't realize it at the time, though it was very obvious to those around me. The depression clouded it all over. The meds began to work within a few weeks to a month. Once they started to work, things slowly but surely looked more brighter- and I realized how fortunate I was when I looked into that mirror. I had it made in life. Not only did I have it made, but I was lucky!

Lucky because I survived the depression. And, then realized that I was a good mommy for seeing through the pain and agony of it all. Knowing that it is possible to over come something that is so painful. It is just a time, when one is going through an abyss- and it totally stinks, but it 'too shall pass'. That is a phrase that someone here has mentioned before to us on this forum- and it is a very good phrase. 'This too shall pass'. And, what you are experiencing- 'will pass', and when it does, you will again feel the goodness again, that you are as a mommy, an individual, and a person all around.

You will someday soon, once those meds kick in, be able to look into that mirror and see all of the good things about you. When that happens, it will all come together, and this transition of depression will fade away. You will wonder how it all happened and when, and where it went to. Don't worry, just let it all be. Don't try too hard; each day- just take it a step at a time.

I've been in your shoes before, and it is very hard being a new mommy with this illness and being diagnosed with this disorder right after having a little one. It is hard to accept. Talk about a lot to endure. You are taking on a lot of responsiblity. The illness itself is a responsibility. Taking care of you is a huge responsibility. You can do it; just take the meds, get plenty of sleep, go for walks with the baby for exercise, and enjoy time with your baby- be silly and laugh. That is all one must do to be healthy with this illness.

I hope this message finds you feeling a little better. Please know that you are in my thoughts tonight as one mommy to another wishing wellness and good hope. Take care of yourself and your new baby. Things are going to work out. Please believe that. The meds take about 3-6 weeks to begin working. Give them time. And yourself time.

Hugs

Coffeegirl
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a loving heart is the truest wisdom

 
Old 10-16-2006, 06:32 AM   #4
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Tiny Dancer HB User
Re: Confused

Thank you very much for your encouraging words. I am having a better day today. Knowing other people have experrienced similar dark feelings is a relief. I am not alone. Thanks again, your wise words have soothed. I want to type more, still not quite myself yet though. But I guess you will understand that!!!

 
Old 10-16-2006, 08:22 AM   #5
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CarenR HB User
Re: Confused

HI Tinydancer, Because I have felt so much better taking my new medication, I felt better within. two days. I am taking ZYPREXA ,( treats anxiety depression.) a mood stablizer..
But just the the name BI-poler can be hard to take ... and this will pass in time.

coming to the board and venting can help you.. so much

hugs Caren

 
Old 10-16-2006, 10:52 AM   #6
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jgr01 HB User
Re: Confused

Hi Tiny Dancer,

I always prefer to refer to BP as a condition, illness suggests you will get better, but you won't ever not be BP, it is YOU. The symptoms are to be controlled, just like a cold, which goes on it's own you just take medication to stop nose running, aching muscles, headache etc. That's what your meds will do although won't get rid of the condition.
Regular meetings with your psych, learning about the condition from whatever means you have, will help. I was diagnosed 6 years ago and following another breakdown recently am only just beginning to actually accept the condition. Before it was all words; I knew everything about it but didn't want to accept some of the changes it made to me (to take the meds) and the changes I actually need to make to my life to help the symptoms stay minor. Really, there are worse things to be diagnosed with....

So welcome and good luck, this is actually an interesting and enlightening journey. x

jgr

 
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