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Old 10-18-2006, 11:02 AM   #1
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Smile I'm bipolar and worry about my children

i worry so much my children are 7 and 9 and 2years old the older ones sometimes look at me like I'm nuts weather I'm manic happy laughing until i cry or manic mad where i don't even want anyone to talk i hope my illness does not make them have strange personalities if that makes sense anyway I'm getting help but i have rapid cycles I'm so tired of being so extreme but when my happy manic phases go will i laugh anymore? i just don't know who i am with out bipolar i just always have been. has anyone ever had a talk with their child about mom or dad being bipolar?i have a lot of worries and questions so ill stop here gods blessing to all shelb

 
Old 10-18-2006, 12:46 PM   #2
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Re: I'm bipolar and worry about my children

Hi there. My situation is a little different......

I have two beautiful baby girls (well they are now 8 and 5), but they are not living with me or my ex-husband.

Back in 2001, after my second child was born I found out how hard things were having two children and having Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar. I was yelling at my child to pick up her toys as she played with them and even watched her (she was 1 - 1 1/2 at the time) putting her toys exactly back where she took them from. I got scared. My husband at the time and I talked for a lengthy time about it, but we gave our girls up for adoption.

I am not saying to do this. All I am doing is trying to let you know that I feared the worst and thought that if my girls grew up around me that they would turn out having my diseases as well and I didn't want that for them.

I have no doubt that you are a good mother and that you love your children, I think that you should talk with your doctor and see what they say about how to talk with your kids about things. To try to explain taht mommy has her good times and bad times and that in no way should it reflect on them.

I just wanted to share with you from one mom to another the fear I had and the end result for me......

Wishing you the best on this one.............

 
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Old 10-18-2006, 04:39 PM   #3
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Re: I'm bipolar and worry about my children

thanks so much for sharing that with me and i am sorry that must be very hard on you . I'm just up and down i have a great husband and sad to say but he gets the blunt side of this disease i just worry that they will think I'm crazy(kids)i dunno sometimes i feel this way and other times i don't i guess that's bipolar for ya but i read some where that you should explain on a child's level (of course) what is going on with mommy and I'm just kinda waiting for my meds. to kick in i just don't know what to say

 
Old 10-18-2006, 05:48 PM   #4
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Re: I'm bipolar and worry about my children

It is difficult, I definitely know that.

also the medication isn't the only thing that will help you out. You need to work hard on this. There is a book that helped me out. My doc and I use it, it is by Marsha Linehan and it is a book of skills to use to help when you get in the "moods". They are coping skills and I honestly don't know where I would be without them and my medicine (and my doc of course).

Hope things go well with you.

 
Old 10-19-2006, 10:18 AM   #5
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Re: I'm bipolar and worry about my children

Hi Shelb and all you others out there,

this is a good thread...instead of thinking of ourselves, my meds, my rages, my depressions, my manias, mememememememe!!!! this is about those around us who normally can't make the decisions for themselves, our most loved, most hated children.

Just recently I really was going to leave my husband, send my daughter to live with her father and move to a croft in Scotland.....I am worried about the effect on my child (a very emotionally intelligent nearly 9 yr girl). I have explained to her that mummy has part of her body that doesn't work quite right, like Daddy and glasses, whilst he can't see properly I sometimes feel a bit strange or act a bit odd or on the rare occasion scare her by shouting without the customary 3 warnings to stop doing / do whatever it is i've asked. She sort of understands it; she knows it will never go, but that as a family we are all doing our best to mimimise the dangerous elements.

Unfortunately for Charlotte her father has also been diagnosed with it, plus i have 6 others in my immediate family plus paranoid schizophrenic, so the odds are she will have it. I have not told her this yet though..

I hope this helps a bit it's a family thing, but you do have to take the responsibility to take the meds, minimise stress (type of job i quit as Managing Director in April this yr), exercise, eat and sleep well. This bit I hate, as BP (mainly manic for me) we are prone to enjoy the exciting things in life which going to bed by 10pm sort of curtails!

All the best to you x

 
Old 10-19-2006, 10:22 AM   #6
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Re: I'm bipolar and worry about my children

Quote:
Originally Posted by jgr01
Hi Shelb and all you others out there,
Aghhhh! I hope you understood what i meant, i don't really HATE my daughter! you know what i meant!!!!!!

 
Old 10-19-2006, 02:01 PM   #7
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Re: I'm bipolar and worry about my children

Let me tell you from experience of my own child hood. Try hard as best you can to keep in check. Talk to them about it but how I don't know they are so young. Don't let them think you are just crazy as we did our mother. Now i understand her completely but back then it wasn't known or talked about. I heard my dad put her down constantly. I was told I was going to grow up just like her and well, I DID!!!! Only there is help now and knowledge. I have a new supportive husband but fear that won't last. Talk with your doc and don't let him tell you to say nothing. They need to know you are okay and you love them. My girls are 18 nd 14 and I just now have found out I am bipolar (?) I have discussed it with them because my fear is them having it. They had a bad child hood also due to my divorce to their father. Tell your husband that knowledge and understanding on his part can make a big difference. Good luck

 
Old 10-20-2006, 10:09 AM   #8
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Re: I'm bipolar and worry about my children

Quote:
Originally Posted by tired06
Let me tell you from experience of my own child hood. Try hard as best you can to keep in check. Talk to them about it but how I don't know they are so young. Don't let them think you are just crazy as we did our mother. Now i understand her completely but back then it wasn't known or talked about. I heard my dad put her down constantly. I was told I was going to grow up just like her and well, I DID!!!! Only there is help now and knowledge. I have a new supportive husband but fear that won't last. Talk with your doc and don't let him tell you to say nothing. They need to know you are okay and you love them. My girls are 18 nd 14 and I just now have found out I am bipolar (?) I have discussed it with them because my fear is them having it. They had a bad child hood also due to my divorce to their father. Tell your husband that knowledge and understanding on his part can make a big difference. Good luck
this really sums it up....talk to them in the way you know THEY understand and when you know they're going to listen. You know it's difficult to talk to a child if they're favourite programme is on, the sun is shining mates are playing soccer in the street etc. Also each child is emotionally different, I mean that some are open and giving about their own feelings, others take ages to open up etc. You know your children best. But, IT IS a family thing, your husband needs to become as expert in BP as he is at baseball or Football! x

 
Old 10-21-2006, 10:02 AM   #9
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Re: I'm bipolar and worry about my children

thank you all so much it helps so much to hear it from others who actually know how i feel i dont have anyone here that understands except my husband he knows all the crap ive put him through once agian thanksand gods blessings shelb

 
Old 10-22-2006, 10:22 PM   #10
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Re: I'm bipolar and worry about my children

Shelb,
Children Are Resilient. I Am Not Bipolar But My Ex Hub Is And My Son Is Bipolar 15 1/2 And My Daughter Has Adhd.... We Go To Family Counciling And That Helps All Of Us. I Will Tell You I Do Lose It And Yell At My Kids. I And You Are Human.... I Dont Let Anyone Including My Family Members Lable My Kids. This Is Our Normal. Who Is To Say What Is Normal. I Have Had So Many Problems With People Thinking They Can Catch Bipolar And Adhd. Including Schools, Our Church Ect... You Know Who Supports Me My Children And This Board Helps. We Only See The Docs Once A Week. They Will Be Fine As You Make It For Them.
You Are A Good Mom For Talking To This Board.....
Good Luck
Mslainie

 
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