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Old 10-20-2006, 09:59 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Chicago, Illinois
Posts: 73
suzannecaroline HB User
complainer

I always feel like I complain too much, but in all honesty i dont go around telling people how bad I feel. I would have no friends! but the truth is I am miserable. i have been my whole life as far as i can remember. I know as a little girl i didnt sleep much and had very bad dreams. I had a "normal" childhood though, which leads me to bellieve all this is genetic. I had many problems with teachers in school and did poorly due to behavior. I have an advanced degree now and a good career, so I know it was not an IQ thing with me. my feeling bad has haunted me since I can remember. the crawling out of my skin feeling that not many people have...but I do all the time. I take the meds... maybe not perfectly but I do try. Its a never ending battle it seems and I find this place the only outlet for my true, deepest emotions. I hate the insomnia the most because then I get either manic or depressed the next day if I dont get enough sleep. I go to theapy, take meds, work out. What else is left to do???? maybe a spiritual vacation to a far off land..... but that is the escapism talking I think.....

 
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Old 10-21-2006, 02:17 PM   #2
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 5,813
goody2shuz HB Usergoody2shuz HB User
Re: complainer

Hi Knowing how slow it is on weekends I just wanted to commend you on wanting to do the right things to get yourself better. That is half the battle.

You say that you take the meds but do you take them as perscribed??? If not them perhaps you should try to and see if that makes a difference.

And what meds are they??? Perhaps if they don't work you need a med change but you will never know unless you take them as perscribed. It would be a shame if you could feel better by just taking the meds....it is common to slack off of them because nobody likes taking meds but if they are necessary then it IS important for you to take them.

Anyway....I hope that things do get better for you and that you find a way to feel better about things....and keep on coming here, I too find it a great place to be a great outlet which has helped me out tremendously.

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody

 
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Old 10-22-2006, 05:22 AM   #3
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Florida
Posts: 32
tired06 HB User
Re: complainer

I hear you. As a little girl I had bad dreams too. I think even at that age I knew something was wrong. I am 43 now and just diag. I have battled all my life with depression not knowing the other symptoms and effects bipolar had on me but now that I look back--well, ughhhh! My mom couldn't get me to go to school in my younger yrs and well as I got older I couldn't go to sleep at night and wouldn't get up in the am. I didn't finish school but did get my GED and did go to some college. I am smart but just can't finish things. My mom had problems but back then no one knew what. She was called a hypocondriac (sp) and I always was told i would grow up like her and i did!!! But until now I thought I was one too. I lost friends due to it and boyfriends. Don't feel bad life goes on now that we have answers and do take your meds correctly and balance it from that with your doc. Tired06

 
Old 10-22-2006, 08:42 AM   #4
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(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: No.Ft Myers, Florida
Posts: 84
Tweetyone HB User
Re: complainer

Hello there,
You didn't say how old u are or when u were first dx. I have felt the same way as you and i wish now that i was dx earlier. I agree with goody that u need to take the meds as prescribed. I take mine as soon as i get home from work which is usually around six and seven at night. once it becomes a routine u won't forget. i also know if i dont' take them i will feel terrible once again. i was just added a new med and i'm scared of the side effects but i already feel better and that's worth it to me. i love my job and i don't want to lose it so the meds i will take and keep my appt's and keep my talk therapy, even though there are days i don't want too. By the way i take lamcital and tregratol. keep faith and u will succeed i know u will!
Just me and my two cents worth.
Tweeyone Linda

 
Old 10-22-2006, 11:26 AM   #5
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Clifton, N.J.
Posts: 7
dachsundmom HB User
Smile Re: complainer

I literally just found this site & joined . I am hoping it will be helpful. There are so many times when you're having a crisis that you just can't get anyone to talk to ( like this weekend!). I was diagnosed with BPD about nine years ago & until recently felt so lucky because I was by-and-large stable. I take my meds. religiously because if I don't I won't be able to work. Try to overcome any reservations you have about taking your meds.I know they have some pretty nasty side-effects sometimes but the side-effects aren't half as awful as how you start to feel without them.You're lucky that you had a "normal" childhood. I think that's at least one hurdle you don't have to cross. I grew up in a very dysfunctional home ( no alchohol or drug abuse but LOTS of psychological abuse.)Right now i'm going through a pretty bad time but i'm doing positive things to try & help myself. I don't know how old you are but i'm 56 & battling this for almost a lifetime. You get so tired of it but you CAN'T QUIT because the last thing on earth any of us wants to be is a loser! Hang in there & you can post to me anytime you need to talk.

 
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