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Old 10-23-2006, 04:26 AM   #1
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I don't think I'm bipolar anymore. And I hate it.

What happened to the boards??? The page wasn't loading for a good 2 weeks and I felt so lost.

I don't know what to talk about or how to summarize, but at the present moment, I don't FEEL anything anymore besides exhaustion and confusion. I am out of touch with my own feelings. I can't even journal anymore. I want the mania back. I want the clarity back. I want SOMETHING back. At least when my moods were swinging I had an idea of who I was and what was happening. I don't know how to make this make sense.


 
Old 10-23-2006, 06:54 AM   #2
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Re: I don't think I'm bipolar anymore. And I hate it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by frozeninside
What happened to the boards??? The page wasn't loading for a good 2 weeks and I felt so lost.

I don't know what to talk about or how to summarize, but at the present moment, I don't FEEL anything anymore besides exhaustion and confusion. I am out of touch with my own feelings. I can't even journal anymore. I want the mania back. I want the clarity back. I want SOMETHING back. At least when my moods were swinging I had an idea of who I was and what was happening. I don't know how to make this make sense.


Are you on any meds?

Are you on your downside of your bi-polar?

I hope you feel better soon. Take care

Jen
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Old 10-24-2006, 05:11 AM   #3
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Re: I don't think I'm bipolar anymore. And I hate it.

I don't think ther eis a cure for Bipolar, there are just down points when your meds are working........

I know that ever since my boyfriend went on Abilify for his ADHD he has no creative edge anymore. He used to write and draw....now he doesn't do it, I have to sit with him when he wants to **** to be his muse.

Perhaps the meds are working. I know it is a little scary to not have the creativity, but perhaps you should look at it as a good thing that you aren't going through the mania.

) take care

 
Old 10-24-2006, 03:36 PM   #4
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Unhappy Re: I don't think I'm bipolar anymore. And I hate it.

I was reading through the forums and saw yours. I know exactly how you feel. I mean really, I'm not like one of those that just that. I'm actually going through that right now. I am bipolar and I'm on 750 mg a day of Depakote. Its almost like my depakote and zoloft have taken control and just took every disorder i had away, and many would be happy and relieved but for some odd reason there is something missing and I'm not. It took away my emotions and almost my life and the way of understanding myself. It made me feel like an outsider of my own life, not knowing what is going on and not understanding anything I have gone through. I've been looking for someone to talk to about this also. I dont know.

 
Old 10-24-2006, 07:47 PM   #5
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Re: I don't think I'm bipolar anymore. And I hate it.

do you function better on the meds?
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Old 10-25-2006, 04:18 AM   #6
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Re: I don't think I'm bipolar anymore. And I hate it.

My therapist has told me that this is a sign that the meds are working, and I need to stick it out for a few more weeks, it's a positive thing that my moods aren't cycling anymore, but I feel so much worse. I'm hardly functioning. Yesterday, I completely forgot the password to my e-mail account I've been using for months, at work, it was like my brain was working one step behind everyone else's and this is really bad as I have just been offered, and accepted a promotion that entails MUCH more responsibility!!!...I can only describe it as feeling as though my brain was detached from me, floating somewhere within reach, but not attainable. This scares me. This means the meds are WORKING?? (Tegretol and Abilify) Is it going to get worse?? What does improvement feel like, because I certainly hope it's nothing like this. I've been on the meds since the end of August!! (with dose increases on the Tegretol) I feel like I have completely lost my sense of self, and it's absolutely terrifying. What am I to do, besides talk to my p-doc?? I'm so scared...

Last edited by frozeninside; 10-25-2006 at 04:19 AM.

 
Old 10-25-2006, 04:52 AM   #7
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Re: I don't think I'm bipolar anymore. And I hate it.

Sometimes meds do make you feel disconnected, to "control" the cycling, you always have to give up something.......

I am on trileptal and geoden and I have my out bursts of anger as well as hitting really low, then the mania will hit and I am running like crazy.....BUT I am feeling everything still. I am not in a fog, a haze.

If I would want to change my meds because I still feel things (so some people would say that it isn't working), then I would be trading it all in to be disconnected and spaced out.

I don't think there is a winning way here. I think that you will either have to get used to being disconnected a bit or talk to the doc and get your meds changed and chance still feeling everything like you used to, but the meds will help out.

I know it seems like a lose lose situation, but from what I am hearing and from my experiences, this is what it usually comes down to.

Try to stick it out hun, try to be brave about this and know that you are on meds that are working, perhaps to well.

 
Old 10-25-2006, 06:13 AM   #8
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Re: I don't think I'm bipolar anymore. And I hate it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bpd_bipolar
Sometimes meds do make you feel disconnected, to "control" the cycling, you always have to give up something.......

I am on trileptal and geoden and I have my out bursts of anger as well as hitting really low, then the mania will hit and I am running like crazy.....BUT I am feeling everything still. I am not in a fog, a haze.

If I would want to change my meds because I still feel things (so some people would say that it isn't working), then I would be trading it all in to be disconnected and spaced out.

I don't think there is a winning way here. I think that you will either have to get used to being disconnected a bit or talk to the doc and get your meds changed and chance still feeling everything like you used to, but the meds will help out.

I know it seems like a lose lose situation, but from what I am hearing and from my experiences, this is what it usually comes down to.

Try to stick it out hun, try to be brave about this and know that you are on meds that are working, perhaps to well.

Fantastic. Just great. Splendid.

 
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