Welcome to the boards. First question.....are you taking your meds??? That is essential to making sure that things do not worsten with your symptoms or lead to another episode. My 15 year old daughter was just diagnosed and the number one problem with teens is their realizing how important it is to take their meds. Lots of times when they feel better they think that they no longer need the meds and do not continue to take them which is not a good thing to do.
Also, when you go back on the meds that WERE working they won't and then you have to go through finding others that will which we all know takes some time to do.
If you ARE taking your meds and still experiencing some depression you may need a tuneup or some tweaking so that you are not feeling this way. My advice would be to talk to your psychiatrist and see what he may suggest....sometimes just increasing one of your meds or adding a small dose of another will do the thing. There is research that goes to show that depression will increase during the fall/winter months....this is referred to as SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Alot of people with BP will experience this.
Whenever you get feelings of being suicidal you MUST talk to your doctor. It is something that could worsten quickly and should be monitored....don't be concerned about being hopsitalized again but if you don't take care of it now it may lead to another hospitalization. My daughter was hospitalized 4 times before they found the right diagnosis and meds that are helping her out.
You must be having alot of things going on....it sounds like you must be in your first year of college which is a major adjustment and places alot of stress on you. That is something you should be aware of.....stress, poor sleep, poor diet and poor exercise will all affect your Bipolar and perhaps trigger more episodes of depression or mania so you should be aware of that.
Have you read anything about Bipolar??? My daughter is just getting use to the diagnosis and has no interest in that but I try to teach her as much as I am learning. Knowledge is power and the more you know about Bipolar the more equipped you are to help yourself get better. There are many books in the library that you can grab a good one that is often recommended around here called, "The Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide: What You and Your Family Need to Know
", by David J. Miklowitz. I would highly suggest you read that book. There is another one written by a 17 year old boy who has the disorder....I will find out the name of it and get back to you.
Meanwhile....take good care of yourself....I feel as if I am speaking to you as your mom would but you may "tune out".
Sometimes hearing it from somebody else registers better.
I am glad to see you reaching out for help. Realizing that you have BP and wanting to get better and feel better is so vital to your actually getting better. Always remember that.
((((HUGS)))) ~ Goody