Could i have BiPolar ?
Just wondering what peoples opinions might be on if they think i might have BiPolar or not?
From the start.
From the start in my life i had like behavious problems and saw someone called Dr Mary for a few year and then i managed to control myself until about 3 year ago. I was kicked out for not having a job by my mum and ever since the day i left home my life has been going upside down. Got into horrible hostels, violent (near death) relationships, was raped by my ex 1 and half year ago, drugs, prostitution. Ever since i have been through all these i have had some strange things happening to me.
I know people have mad/happy moments and can switch fairly quick but this is MORE than that. I have violent thoughts about people who have angered me really nasty thoughts about smashing them in. I turn extremely nasty sometimes and cant seem to control it. Have suicide thoughts and when i hate someone i talk to myself as if i am talking to them like (violence fantasy) kind of thing. Had this urge the other day to jump in a canal even though it was deep and scary i had to be held back. I get so extremely depressed i cry for hours and want revenge on anything anyone. I have abused my pet before. I have my own fertility issues and i went on a website and put to all other infertile people in a chatroom "im pregnant and your not haha" i dont know why. I hate myself , my body and some other strange things happen. About 45% of the time im in a decent mood none of these horrible thoughts but the rest i am either so so depressed/angry/aggressive and go through some wierd emotions and things and its frightening.
Could i have bipolar ? sorry to go on.
P.S When my head doesnt go loopy im a really nice person but self concious.
Caz - i have PCOS too!