Just wondering what peoples opinions might be on if they think i might have BiPolar or not?
From the start.
From the start in my life i had like behavious problems and saw someone called Dr Mary for a few year and then i managed to control myself until about 3 year ago. I was kicked out for not having a job by my mum and ever since the day i left home my life has been going upside down. Got into horrible hostels, violent (near death) relationships, was raped by my ex 1 and half year ago, drugs, prostitution. Ever since i have been through all these i have had some strange things happening to me.
I know people have mad/happy moments and can switch fairly quick but this is MORE than that. I have violent thoughts about people who have angered me really nasty thoughts about smashing them in. I turn extremely nasty sometimes and cant seem to control it. Have suicide thoughts and when i hate someone i talk to myself as if i am talking to them like (violence fantasy) kind of thing. Had this urge the other day to jump in a canal even though it was deep and scary i had to be held back. I get so extremely depressed i cry for hours and want revenge on anything anyone. I have abused my pet before. I have my own fertility issues and i went on a website and put to all other infertile people in a chatroom "im pregnant and your not haha" i dont know why. I hate myself , my body and some other strange things happen. About 45% of the time im in a decent mood none of these horrible thoughts but the rest i am either so so depressed/angry/aggressive and go through some wierd emotions and things and its frightening.
Could i have bipolar ? sorry to go on.
P.S When my head doesnt go loopy im a really nice person but self concious.
hi there hunn im so sorry to hear that youre going through this on your own. the good thing is that whille youre in the depressed state you recognize that all is not well. youve aknowledged that you dont feel well so the next step is that you must go to a doctor or a phychiatrist and seek help. there is no way on this earth any good doctor is gonna turn you away because he or she might think youre a hypochondriac. this is probably more your rationiolization of the situation. on the one hand you want help but on the other youre scared of the unknown and what may or may not be wrong with you. you mentioned about being raped a whille ago. ive been raped too years ago so i can relate to you. maybee youre suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. untill you seek help noone can help you. but you can bet youre bottom dollar youll feel better once youve made that first step. i will be here for you whenever you ned suprt. by the way im two days away from finding out iff my 14 year old daughter has bipolar so i understand.dont go through this on your own you deserve beter. and yes you are a nice person just like my daughter is apart from when her mood changhes and she becomes violent and wants me dead ect . good luck hunn keeep me updated. kind regards seeangel
Thank you so much for your help and support its been brilliant! I know i have come to the right site and i feel less alone now. So sorry that you was raped a few year ago too its a dreadful thing to have to go through. And to soon find out weather your Daughter has Bipolar or not must be stressful and ya mind must be going all round in circles. Do you have Bipolar?