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Old 11-06-2006, 04:41 PM   #1
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scullyboy HB User
Cool don't ask don't get upset

Why is it that people will post threds asking for suggestions, ideas, comments etc
When they get a reply they get angry or upset,
first off ask about somthing that affects you , be polite ,honest ,and open.
That way you won't be offended if you don't hear what you want to hear .
What you will find is opinion that is open ,honest and come's from the heart ,
And may I say thanks to all who have made comments or taken comments from me...? I have allways gained some insight from their input wether good or bad ?.

Reguards to all scullyboy (Steve )

Last edited by scullyboy; 11-06-2006 at 04:43 PM.

 
Old 11-06-2006, 05:55 PM   #2
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Re: don't ask don't get upset

Very good post. I wonder about this too. Why ask if your going to refuse to even have an open mind.
There are good items we all can glean from one another.
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Old 11-07-2006, 04:34 AM   #3
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Thumbs up Re: don't ask don't get upset

I agree with you entirly , it seems that the gimmie gimmie attitude has hit the boards sometimes....?
If your mind is closed so is your response...comon people reach out, help is there if you wan't it do you...?

 
Old 11-07-2006, 04:45 AM   #4
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Re: don't ask don't get upset

Before i start this post, i would like to say i am not disagreeing at all with what you have both said!

I am simply wondering if sometimes the reason people get upset at replies, opinions etc, is because they are truly in despair, a moment that seems worse than the rest, and all they seek is reassurance and hope that they are right/or there is a magic solution etc. Sometimes hearing other opinions or comments is too much, if it was not what they were hoping for at the time. When the veil of deep despair starts to lift, they may start considering the other opinions/comments, and see them for the attempt at help/anwers, that they are?

Just a thought. Quite liked the vein of this thread

TTFN

 
Old 11-07-2006, 04:53 AM   #5
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Re: don't ask don't get upset

I agree with Very Green and the others. I know that many times on this journey I have sought answers and got the exact one I didn't want. I would like to think however that I haven't taken it out on the messenger; well not on this board anyway - I've had a few heated discussions with docs along the way though! I find this journey extremely frustrating at times; especially the whole change your life (style) thing. Which is what I am currently undertaking.

 
Old 11-07-2006, 05:05 AM   #6
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Very Green HB User
Re: don't ask don't get upset

Thank you for that affirmation, thought i might get lynched!

Please remember that it is difficult for anyone to make lifestyle changes, regardless of the reasons why. I find it admirable that you are attempting them. Some people in life are aware of issues, but don't make the effort to turn them around. Kudos to you for doing it.
My partner is also finding it difficult to make changes to certain patterns in his life which have evolved around the BP but until recently he hadn't spotted. (it has taken him 40 years to realise something was wrong!). I too have to make changes, in order to support him better. My insecurities need challenging, as they do not help the situation!

Good luck, and keep posting!

TTFN

 
Old 11-07-2006, 08:30 AM   #7
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Re: don't ask don't get upset

thanks Very Green,

I know it is very hard for partners. I really worry about the future for my husband and myself, afterall I seem to need to be a different person really than the person he met to remain stable. I was the social butterfly, surrounded by people hanging on my every word, driving the parties, aswell as a Managing Director living just outside London. Now I am off alcohol (plus other recreational activities), off parties and moving back to Dorset for a quieter life and leaving him and 2 of our children up here (my child is coming back with me).
He says for better for worse....but I'm really not so sure. Still time will tell.

cheers

jgr

 
Old 11-08-2006, 04:24 AM   #8
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Thumbs up Re: don't ask don't get upset

Well thank you all for open, honest, replys...?
Even if you aggreed or diagreed by keeping your cool and not getting hot under the coller .

Can you see the pattern of progressive and possitive response that has occured by staying cool ,
Allthough every reply has come from a senior member who have troddon these boards longer then me .
yes i do agree that a little patiants go,s a long way and that you have to consider if the person you are replying to is in the right frame of mind.
as a rule I read the posting and see if it has been rushed and rambling this might indicate a manic episode...? ( i said might )
If it sounds depressive and is short ...to short, then perhaps the writer is feeling low...( i said perhaps).
and typically you get the person who knows what the problem is but just wants an indipendent confirmation / or to let of steam.

What i am trying to say is if both sidea of the conversation take their time,then conflict can be avoided and that yes... it is annoying when someone you don't know tells you somthing you don't wan't to here right now, but at least someone is listening ?.

JGR01 Good luck with your new adventure and i hope all go's well for you ...you sound to me as though you have the adventurous sprit in you and i can't see it being to much of a wrench for you moving as the rest of your life and your familly are just up the road and reachable, be positive girl, and smile at least once a day

Thanks to Mudhound and Verygreen for your replys short n sweet, cheers guys

Last edited by scullyboy; 11-08-2006 at 04:25 AM.

 
Old 11-08-2006, 04:53 AM   #9
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Re: don't ask don't get upset

well thanks Steve.

 
Old 11-08-2006, 10:06 AM   #10
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Wink Re: don't ask don't get upset

Excellent posts that made me smile...I sometimes wonder about us loonies (joke) taking advice from each other ha ha ha! But you're right, you can usually tell when it's a manic or depressive or normal post....usually.....I'm sure you can tell this is a normal post, hee hee. I hate it when the doc tells me to lose weight & quit smoking, there sure are some quacks out there aren't there?

 
Old 11-09-2006, 12:54 PM   #11
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Smile Re: don't ask don't get upset

Dear Maketheworldgoaway:
Hi to you and yes I can tell that you are fine and can take the post as it was ment ...?
Whats wrong with the loonies taking over the asylem...?.
At least we know what it is like to live with BP every day and every minute, So who better to talk to about living with, and coping wilst suffering with BP...?, and at least we are talking!.,

Iv,e had days when i wanted to die, and days when i'm on the go...go...go and everything is fine ( untill the big crash ) at the moment i'm feeling just about normal ( whatever normal is..?) and well enough to tread the boards.

As a second thought I was wondering how many of us feel ,or wish there was a pill to cure BP ?
And if there was how many of us would take it !!!,
and how many feel different from the rest of socity because we have BP I - II,
By which i mean feel different as to not wan't to take the pill.?.

Relived that everyone ells found it an interesting post and i am glad to be of service ?

It has been a wile since I was last on the boards ...
( due to a long episode of depression )
It has been a warm welcome back on line and also very helpfull towards recovery...?
Once again thanks to all who have taken part ,

and I am looking forward to participtating in future and current postings.

May Budda's smile warm all your hearts and countless blessings to all
Reguards Scullyboy ( Steve )

Last edited by scullyboy; 11-09-2006 at 01:14 PM.

 
Old 11-09-2006, 11:39 PM   #12
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Re: don't ask don't get upset

OK I know you are posting this because of me even though you are very vague about this all. I apologized for this and I dont' know what else to do. After some sleep or something I sometimes realize how off my thinking was and I still do think that it is off sometimes but I am trying and taking meds and seeing a psychiatrist ok? I am not trying to be hotheaded either here so don't take this the wrong way even though you probably think very poorly of me but you don't know the whole story I think. Do not think that I am just being stupid and angry. If I shouldn't post anymore here then I wont but I just wish you would have said something to me instead of being so vague and still attacking me I don't understand. Now you probably are going to think that I am attackign you (which I am not) and you are probably going to be even more angry I am so confused.

 
Old 11-10-2006, 09:51 AM   #13
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Wink Re: don't ask don't get upset

I'm not attacking anyone sweetheart especialy you .../
But i know that B.P has the paranoid effect on people who suffer from it,
So if you feel that it has been directed at you then its me who should be sorry for giving you that impression in the first place.

Please don,t take anything personally all i do is generalise and say think before you type o,k

AND AS I SAID BEFORE I APPOLOGISE FOR OFFENDING YOU PERSONALY.

Stay safe and warm Reguards Scullyboy (steve )

P.S I realy am a Buddhist and have been for fifteen years

Last edited by scullyboy; 11-10-2006 at 09:54 AM.

 
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