I'm New Here - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

sadflash · 11-08-2006, 10:43 PM

Hi All,

I just wanted to introduce myself... I have been reading this board for a couple weeks now.

I am a father of 3, and husband of a recently diagnosed woman. by recently, I mean so recently that she has not yet been prescribed any medication. She was diagnosed by a psychologist about 1.5 weeks ago, and has been waiting for her psychiatrist appointment so that she can be formally "labeled", and discuss medication.

I just wanted to say that it has been very hard for both of us lately, and reading this board has helped me make sense of some things. so thank you all.

goody2shuz · 11-08-2006, 11:14 PM

Hi

And welcome to the boards. This is such a great place to be. I know that the shock of everything must be overwhelming for you and your family. I firmly believe that the more that you educate yourself on Bipolar the more that you will be able to support your wife and yourself through all of this.

As you well know....finding the right meds and being formally diagnosed is what is most effective in stabilizing your wife. The meds are almost like a roll of the dice.....it will take time to find the ones that will be the winning combo. So be patient and realize that this all is going to take time.

I think it is great that you are here. I personally have found this to be a great place to be....the people are awesome and will go above and beyond to help you out.

Again welcome and I look forward to seeing more of you here.

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody

jgr01 · 11-09-2006, 01:31 AM

Hi Sadflash,

firstly welcome there are lots of partners as you will have noticed and you have years of experience to draw on. Don't be worried about asking any questions or just ranting. The good thing is that your wife is being 'labeled', which means help. I prefer diagnosed myself because BP is a condition and at times I really hate it other times I forget I have it but many times it has left me feeling guilty, worthless and embarrassed. Of course this happens with the highs and the lows and sometimes it's our partners who see it most. Good luck to you x

Juliet

crazywoman77 · 11-09-2006, 01:36 AM

hi and welcome sad flash I hope you find this place as much a help as i have done. The good thing about being here is that many of our questions can be answerd by ready previous posts so if you dont want to post it can still help alot. I was diagnosed just over a month ago and I know my husband was finding it hard to come to terms with but the last few days he has started secretly reading the boards lol and since then he has been asking more questions and taking more notice. He actually said last night that he could see the meds starting to work and that he could see I was really trying to calm my temper lol. a week ago we couldnt of talked about any of this so it has been a huge step. btw goody if you read this thank you sooooooooo much and you were right things do get better especially now the lines of comunication have re opend thank you love and hugs to all keep hanging in there

sadflash · 11-09-2006, 06:11 AM

Thank you all so much.

I want to apologise to juliet... I did not mean to offend you by referring to the process as "labeling." I am an outsider, and I cant possibly comprehend what you, my wife, and so many others are going through. I referred to diagnosis that way because that is how my wife sees it... as a label she has to wear, and I get the impression that there are many here at this board that feel the same way she does.

The hardest part of all this is dealing with the things she has done, and is possibly still doing. She has carried on affairs with at least 2 other men online, and even met and stayed with one for 5 days. Before diagnosis, we agreed that she was stressed, and needed to take a vacation for herself... she was gone for 11 days, and spent most of that time with him. I of course am extremely hurt by all of this, but made up my mind (before diagnosis) that no matter what she had done, I still loved her, and wouldn't give her up for the world. Now I see that this was a symptom of a much larger issue, not the issue itself.

I still have a lot of healing to do, and I really need her to try to help me pick up the pieces, but she is not in a place to do that now. I have tried to talk to her about things, but it stresses her out. She left yesterday morning, to go stay in a hotel... I have no idea where she is, who she is with, or when she will be back. This is the way she wanted it. She is afraid that if I know where she is staying that I will try to go get her and bring her back home. While this is exactly what I want to do... I know it is not what is best for her now.

I need to find a way to deal with my heartache, jealousy, and the stress of being a single father for basically the last 6 months. I am just so tired of waiting... I need to talk to her, so that I can start to feel better... but I cant do that until she starts to feel better.

Thanks for listening.