Hi, My name is Holly and both my son and I are bipolar. I am currently writing a research paper on early onset bipolar disorder and need input from parents and children with the disorder.
Please if anyone can help me I greatly appreciate it!!!
My 14 year old son is bipolar and has had symptons since birth. The day he was born, he started screaming than he would scream nonstop if I was not holding him even when he was toddling. I later read after he was diagnosed at age 8 that bipolar babies do this. He would cry at day care from 7am till he fell asleep crying at lunch. These young children become attached to someone, mostly mom, and some are in so much fear that mom cannot leave their side. Also, my son was diagnosed depressed and add over and over. The ped gave him meds for that for several years and he got worse and worse. I handled everything so wrong. I wish I would have know long ago. I am bipolar too and so are about 3 or more in my family. Since was diagnosed, I have been researching this illness. My son and me have been through hell and back with this illness. I have to try to stay healthy for his sake and for my own. I am very dilligent on finding info and fighting for him and for me. I have suicidal tendancies and I am so very afraid he will too. Everytime I decided to not cut my wrist after considering it and life holds no hope, I think that this child will not have a chance if I leave him. It is really weird, but if he was not bipolar than I think I would have done it long ago. I am his only strength and he is mine. He said it a few times that he wanted to die and I never felt fear like that before. This child is my life and my life's mission is to help him through all of it and cheer him on because no one can understand how horrible it can be unless they experience the fears, loneliness, anger, isolation and vurtually every bad feeling that a human can have. No one was there for me and I was abused badly so I am hoping that helping him now, he will have a better chance of happiness than I have. I am 36 and have fought this terrible illness for all of my life and I have pushed everyone away from me during my bad times. I have no one left but my two children and I am hell bent and determined to never let them go. So when you research bipolar and early onset, remember to never, ever forget that your children need a cheerleader for the rest of their lives. I sure wish I had one because everyone deserves to be loved uncondtionally no matter what and we need it most when it seems we don't deserve it. Read a book called "The Bipolar Child". This helped me alot in the beginning. Good luck to you and never give up, they need you even when they try to push you away, they are only feeling guilty and they don't want to hurt you. If you have any questions, I have been through almost everything, write to me. Leasa
Last edited by leasarenay; 11-11-2006 at 01:46 PM.
Hon, you are NOT alone being a BP Mom with a 14 year old with BP. I am also a BP mom with a 14 year old son with BP.
You sound like a wonderful mom! Try not to be too hard on yourself!
Your 14yo sounds much like mine when he was a baby...constant crying, not being able to make him quiet or happy! He didn't have colic...and when it was happening, I blamed myself, that I as his mother just wasn't meeting his needs.
I am SO GLAD you are here, not only for strength for your BP child, but to share your insight with others who may be going through the same thing.
Bless you darling!
my daughter would throw herself on the floor and start punching the floor evry time I closed the door to use the bathroom and cry. I always thought it was cute that she was so attached to me. (she was about 4-5 years old)
She was always so "vigilant" of me. Always watching me. I could feel her srcutiny .At a party, for example, all adults would be gathered in the kitchen, the kids were off in some kids playroom, but my daughter would sit in the livingroom, and stare at me. Lsitening to every word I said. watching my behavior, counting my glasses of wine.
Then she would demand answers from me. Qustions and comments like, "Why did you say that at the party? "You looked like you had one too may drinks. That man likes you." I remember saying to her, "excuse me young lady, I am your mother, not the other way around." (By the way, she was about 8 years old)
I thought it was "The only child syndrome", little that I know she was bipolar and had a Borderline Personality disorder. she never had rages (those came later as a teen) but she was inflexible,irritable and oppositional.
When she was about 9 years old, and I about 28, I took her to Walt Disney, rented a sports car, put the top down, put the suitcases on the back seat, let my hair down, looked at her with a big smile and said, isn't this great honey? She looked at me, and said, "It's not practical" and looked the other way.
I was shocked that a 9 year old would say that, then I thought it was cute that she was so bright, but then I felt criticized and hurt. I also felt, as I have since then felt, srutnized and nothing I do is ever good enough.
When she turned 12 years old, my home became a horror show. She is now 17 and I am still in this nightmare.
Hi-My son Andy was diagnosed with ADHD at the end of first grade. About
3rd or 4th grade he was really "moody" he cried an aweful lot and would get himself really worked up then he was done and would be laughing hyserically (rapid cycling-I later found out. ) I really got concerned when he got paranoid though. He thought everyone hated him-everyone was out to get him in trouble.
He had seperation anxiety in preschool-but it wasn't too major. His doc caught on pretty fast with the early onset when I described the symptoms.I admit-I was the one in denial at first-i thought she was really making a mountin out of a molehill-Truth is I really didn't want to deal the reality of another disorder- but she was dead on with the diagnosis.
In some of the books I read- (The Bipolar Child & others)
they say bed wetting and night terrors are usually there-He did have some accidents-but nothing continous or major and he never had night terrors.
To me what is the hardest is that I believed behaving was learned. Most of us know that if you do this-this will happen. Consequences usually control most kids. It doesn't work with Bipolar illness-it is a whole different ball game because they don't think the same. My daughter-who is also Bipolar is a total nightmare. She was diagnosed as a teen and her symptoms were so opposite of my sons that she wasn't diagnosed till later. (like 16)
Best of luck on your research-I am sure all of here would want to read! I am always looking for people to talk to and new information!