denial of the family has it happened to you? - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

Dakika · 12-18-2006, 09:59 PM

i was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at 20 years old.
i knew before that there was something wrong.
very young i used to get into deep sadness even for things that will never bother other children, but sometimes i would dream i could change the whole world. No one in my family understood.
i had to pass from bad mood, to wanting to leave uni because i was not able to concentrate, hitting a college colleague by a minor provocation, to engage into a relationship with a married man, loosing his child and going into deep depresion, to leaving my country in search for a fresh start, got a good job, a husband, having problems with my husband, leaving my meds because i believed to be ok, putting my job at risk due to rows with colleagues, specially people in authority,trying to kill my self, cheating on my husband out of the blue i felt i hated everyone at the same time i did not felt either the consequences or that i was doing someting wrong, two suicide attempts after realizing that i did something wrong, going to new meds and finally feeling a little bit more "normal", still i might overspend money, cry for stupid things, have insomnia or sleep a lot.
But you know what is really difficult, finding that the people around you still believe that you do all this kind of things because you are just a bad person.
has it happened to you? how can you deal with your family?

Tomartom · 12-18-2006, 10:55 PM

Now there's a can of resentment right there for me. (MY family is in complete denial of my illness). There are similarities between some of your experiences and mine. I think if your personality is somewhat strong like myself, then you like I did, benefit from strong people, not physically but secure, and people that are both good role models and excellent communicators. I feel for you and hope that your journey will be strengthened by hope and a willingness to seek growth.
Kind Regards Tony

foreveralone · 12-19-2006, 04:04 AM

I can SO relate to your story. Problem is, I believe that I am a bad person. Unless the family (or even other people) has been there, they MAY NOT understand. How could they? And some people don't want to take the time.

Truth is, there ARE people out there who are true supporters. Once you find one, you will be seeking them out because you KNOW they are there. I found one ONCE. Problem is he abandoned me and now I am starting at square one again. So I am starting here. A good a place as any.

Here is a place where people DO understand and DO care. I know what its like first hand to go through relationships looking for that something thats not there. Its frustrating.

Hang in there. We are here for you.

Love, Lori

intheclouds · 12-19-2006, 06:23 PM

I recently read a graet passage in a book called Why Im affraid to show you who I am. Now mind you my brain is a bit scattered at the momment, and i cant worry about spelling when my fingers dont work as fast as i would like so sorry, anyway, I keep going over this same part. It says to allow your self to set your family free, Just because u are apart of this "unit" and you share the same blood does not mean that u r them and they r u. In addition to that your issues are yours. There issues are there own. Allow them to feel the way they feel because you can not change them, However that does not give them the power over you. Only you have that. So work on you, u know whats going on with u . My sister and i are very close, when its comfortable for her. I told I was gay ...she told me it was a condittion..a sittuation..lol..I call her about my BP she says nothing but u can cut the tension with a knife.. At that moment I realized something... She has soooooooooo many issues and she hides, and here i am facing mine like a rragging bull...this makes her uncomfortable because she cant face her own "stuff" So u see 2 things...one u still have to keep going regardless of your familys acceptance or not because you and only you have to live in your own skin..and second maby its not you that they cant support but something inside of them that they just cant face or take responibility for. I hope u can find that little bit of peace as I have . Its hard because u expect theses people to love u and support u know mattre what. Mabey they r just not able to .not because u r "bad". but because they r not able. I dont know if this has help but i hope it has have a nice holiday..u accept u and the rest of the world will follow...kas

makeworldgoaway · 12-19-2006, 07:47 PM

It's very common, unfortunately, for some family members and others close to you to not believe the dx, some even act like "snap out of it"...I know, I have this problem too. It is not uncommon-happens to me-to doubt your own dx yourself. When I'm feeling normal I think it might all be a joke! But I am quickly reminded since I am a rapid cycler...all you can do is help them to understand by meeting with your pdoc or tdoc if you have one, and if they are willing to read up about it. Otherwise it is their problem really, you have been diagnosed and know you are not a "bad person". Sometimes those who love us have the hardest time accepting things that are wrong-especially MI-so they prefer to live in denial.