Christmas Tears - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

Lanugo · 12-26-2006, 04:02 PM

There were tears on Christmas day. Due to my husbands anger management problems (and obviously my depression). At least my little boy had the best time and got tonnes of presents. I get so fearful that he's going to turn out like me though, I just hope that he's made of stronger stuff. I was folding my underwear, colour coding my coathangers and crying at school with anxiety at the age of nine-not much fun at all. My problems go so far back and I know that there's something wrong with me, I just don't really know what. I know that this message board has helped me to appreciate that some of my behaviours aren't my fault and that I don't have to suffer forever once I get the right help. Thank you to everyone who's ever answered my posts.

SJ xx

ImCasper2 · 12-26-2006, 11:39 PM

Don't know if this will make you feel any better or not, but you're not the only one who had a crappy Christmas. I, too, shed many tears. My bipolar brother has been harrassing me. He used to live with me, but he left last month. He had been causing problems for me anyway, so I don't want him back here. I can't trust him anymore.
In his delusional state, he has come to believe that the Government gave him my house, and he's claiming to be the homeowner now (he isn't the homeowner, he's not even on the rental agreement). He says he wants me out of "his" house, and he seems to have the cops believing there's nothing wrong with him. They were calling and trying to convince me to let my "poor brother" come home.
Long story short, it got so bad that my son didn't want to be here for Christmas. He spent most of the day at his friends' house, we had Christmas dinner there, and then we came home. Less than an hour after we got home, he wanted to leave again. I finally let him go. I don't blame him for not wanting to be here. But I wound up spending Christmas night all alone and wondering if my brother were going to show up and cause trouble. So yeah, it was a pretty crappy day for me too.
Sorry to hear that you also had a lousy day. I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better. Just remember, you can't see the rainbow if you're looking at the rain.

Lanugo · 12-27-2006, 06:51 AM

I do remember your last post. I feel for you. Stuck between a rock and a hard place I believe is the phrase!

leasarenya · 12-27-2006, 08:28 PM

I am so sorry for your disappointments on Christmas. My son is 15 and bipolar. I am bipolar and I know what you are going and what you have gone through, I have too. If your son is bipolar, don't be afraid, your experiences will arm you to help battle this unforgiving illness that plagues us. My son was diagnosed before I was 5 years ago, but he has had symptoms since his birth. Now that I read infant symtoms, I know he was suffering too. He screamed all the time and had horrible seperation anxietly. I realize that because he is and was like me. I deal with it better than my parents dealt with me. I grew up horribly abused and my son will not. He definitely has no picnic every day, but I try to make up for it when I am well and I do pretty good now (I am so glad I can say that now). Don't be afraid, but be prepared. Sometimes this illness does rear its ugly head until adulthood and give him a firm foundation. My son saw me go through hell and saw me do things I will never live down in my mind, but he is ok. I thank God every day that I know how to deal with his illness. Maybe me being sick will help him, I know it will, so I guess maybe it could be called a blessing in disguise! Good luck to you and I will send up a prayer for you and yours.

ImCasper2 · 12-27-2006, 10:51 PM

Thanks for your prayers and support. I really need that right now. I was so stressed out yesterday that I was literally driving around town with no idea how to get to where I was going -- and the place was located on a street I drive on at least twice a week. I'm mildly dyslexic, so when I'm under stress, I have absolutely no sense of direction. I've gotten lost in my own house.
Not sure if it was my son that you were referring to, but just in case.... no, my son is not bipolar and neither am I. But my brother is, and he was living with us up till last month. He left on his own two days before Thanksgiving.
I applaud you for doing your best to keep your bipolar disorder under control. I wish my brother was that way. He does fine for awhile, and then he decides not to take his meds, and things get crazy. Next thing I know, he's saying he's God and signing his name "Jesus Christ of Nazareth, returned in the flesh, as prophesied since the beginning of time."
I love my brother, but I just can't live with him. Still, I hope he gets his act together.