Losing Friends because of Bipolar and trying to accept it - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

desee · 02-01-2007, 09:14 PM

Have any of you experience having a friend for a while, then once you informed them you have bipolar 2 – at first they don’t believe you, they judge you. Then they remain your friend for a bit afterwards – then they gradually distance themselves from you. I confronted my friend about this and she basically told me it was because of my moods, but granted she has her own issues which are very similar and she tends to avoid any confrontation at all costs. We work for the same company but just in different offices – so every now and then we do need to talk to each other.

( we where friends for 4 years before all of this happen, vented to each other about work, home life, personal problems – she was my let it all out when I a really bad day at work person because she was able to understand what I was going through – she was there for me when I was about to walk out of work one day as well. There is times I think , if it wasn’t for her I wouldn’t of have a job )

Then even have another friend told me I was depended on my meds – well I am, if helps me maintain my moods and cops with my day to day life. Compare to NOT being on them and all my “ episodes ” which have gotten better since I’ve been on my meds – but again me and my pdoctor are still in the beginning stages trying to figure what the right dosage is best for me.

So basically, now since August 2006 and I’m still in the accepting and acknowledging that I’m Bipolar 2 – I’m going through one of stages? Of just noticing everything? Or is it just the meds making me think that? I just feel overwhelm

at times that there is always something coming up in my life that I hardly get a chance to really sit down and reflex at the whole picture.

Any comments, suggestions insights are more than welcome !

Llama · 02-01-2007, 09:27 PM

((((designunique))))

I feel your pain. I have lost friendships due to the bp symptoms too. It is very painful. Mostly I've found that with time a person feels better. Sorry that I have no solutions for you. Just know that you aren't alone.

btw, I think that we were both diagnosed around the same time! It does take some time to get used to it, doesn't it? Sometimes I feel very overwhelmed thinking that this is a lifelong condition...But I guess we just need to take things one day at a time.

frostedglass · 02-02-2007, 12:04 AM

aw *hugs* designunique.

i'm new to posting, but i have been 'lurking' for a while now. your post really touched me, only because i was recently diagnosed with BP-2 as well and the thought of that scared me to death. i was devastated to think that this isn't something to grow out of, and that i will have to proactively manage my disorder for the rest of my life.

i am always scared about what kind of mother/partner/daughter/sister/friend i will be when i am cycling through an episode and there have been a few things that have helped me to explain my situation to my friends.

the most important i am learning is not to stigmatize myself. lets face it, when you say that you suffer from bi-polar disorder, people most likely assume straight jackets, electroshock therapy and jekyl/hyde behaviour.

i refuse to accept the fact that i am 'crazy' or not 'normal'. i am me, plain and simple.

i think education is the most important way to help people understand. the easiest way i've been able to describe it has been to compare it to something such as diabetes. the pancreas doesn't produce insulin, therefore people take insulin shots to help regulate their blood sugar. my brain produce chemicals properly or consistently, therefore i take meds to help regulate the chemical balance in my brain.

the people who really care about you will seek to understand and will want to learn how to support you. be honest with those close to you, let them know when you aren't "quite right" and that it has nothing to do with them.

i consider myself lucky to have the support that i have, and i hope that you find people in your life, who you can trust and open up to as well

one other thing i love, is a dr seuss quote

' be who you are and say what you feel because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind '

desee · 02-02-2007, 04:53 PM

frostedglass and llama,

I really appreciate your support!!! Thank you!

frostedglass at least we have this board to vent to each other and to express how we feel -since it seems we can really understand each other. I know there is times I look back - I probably have had bipolar 2 for a while before seeing a doctor. I went to see a doctor in the first place because I gotten so angry at work I walked out yelling and screaming - saying I wanted to quit.

Believe or not - still to this day my Boss has dealt with my espioses my attitudes etc. He is very very understanding and he 2 younger than me. Yes he knows about my condition .

I love the Dr. Suess quote !

frostedglass · 02-05-2007, 06:13 PM

deisignunique

That's awesome that your boss is supportive. The company I work for has been incredibly supportive over the past 3 months and I am very lucky to have the benefits that I have. I honestly don't know how I could deal with this if I had to stress about work/money on top of everything else that seems to tear me apart.

I have found that a lot of people talk about how BP affects their personal relationships, and I am beginning to understand. I had a really hard week last week (changing meds has made me feel really unstable emotionally) and I spent the weekend with friends on a small road trip. I had a ton of fun, but I've found that my agitation and irritability have def surfaced and as much as I care about my friends, I am finding that I am picking them apart (in my head) about small little things that never used to bother me. I feel really awful about it ... so I tried to keep quiet and keep to myself, which made them concerned. So I basically had to say, "dont take it personally but I'm having a rough week and I just don't feel like myself"

Do you (or anyone else) ever find this happening within your personal relationships ? Honestly, it might be a blessing that I dont have a signifcant other in my life ... as sad as that sounds