need someone to talk to - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

harmony06 · 02-07-2007, 04:05 PM

thank you for your replies. I think that i just need someone to talk to. when i asked my pdoc about support groups he sort of frowned at me and suggested a couseler instead. he said he would find one for me but that was a month ago. i still haven't heard anything. i go back to see him tomorrow. sometimes i dont think theres anything wrong with me at all. other times im so far in the dumps that all i want to do is cry. i keep looking up information on bp hoping that i'll find something to show that that isn't what i have. i feel like its controlling me. i dont do anything but play on the computer all day. im thinking about getting off of my meds. i really think i am ok. ive never been hospitalized or anything. considering im 46 yrs. i really dont think it will ever come to that. what does everyone else think i still want to see my pdoc just not take the meds. i wonder how he will react to that. please someone reply. im trying to figure out what im going to do

jgr01 · 02-07-2007, 04:19 PM

Hi BPinDenial,

firstly do not stop taking your meds without telling your pdoc - if you are BP coming off the meds in an uncontrolled way can be extremely dangerous.

I'm in the UK unfortunately and have to go to bed now - my husband and i have a Relate session early doors so i only 6 hrs sleep now which is not enough for me. But i would suggest you give it a bit more time and if you would like tell me why you were diagnosed bp?

juliet

tsohl · 02-07-2007, 04:46 PM

I ought to be a paid spokesperson for **** as I am always recommending it on this board. If you're not familiar with the group, it is a national organization that has local chapters all over the country. They run support groups, educational programs, and are a wonderful resource. You can check the internet for their website...just run a search for ****. I just pulled up their website and noticed there are contact names and phone numbers in Augusta, Brunswick and Portland. (Those are the cities that I recognized as being near you -- there were others listed as well.) There may be a group closer to you as they hold their meetings in various locations. If you're looking for some information and/or support, I suggest you give them a call.

Have you been diagnosed with bipolar disorder? What meds are you on? The problem with being an unmedicated bipolar is that the episodes usually become more frequent as one ages, and and can become more extreme, as well. It is not an illness that will necessarily just remain the same.

There are many wonderful books on the market, if you are seeking further information.

Why don't you discuss all of this with your pdoc at your appointment tomorrow?

Tsohl

harmony06 · 02-09-2007, 09:31 AM

thank you all, i've spoken to my pdoc and am not going to stop my meds. i guess when we feel better we tend to forget what its like to be depressed. i am 46 and was only diagnosed a year ago so i sometimes dont even know what is normal thinking and what is not. i was first sent to see a pdoc because i had gotten so far in dept that i was becoming desperate. didnt dare to tell my husband. the pdoc has helped me but these problems still dont seem to go away. i over eat, over spend and seem to be overly obsessed by everything i do. its all or nothing. if i do something its all the way or i dont do anything at all. its all or nothing. i have a tendecy to feel like nobody cares or that everyone is against me. i overreact to everything that i disagree with. i was very irritable but that seems to have gotten better with meds. i dont know if this is bp or not. does anyone else feel like this. there are more symtoms but don't have time to get into all of it and also dont want to bore anyone either. i would much appreciate your replys.

blauermonday · 02-09-2007, 09:33 PM

So much if not all of what you describe as symptoms I can relate to. In fact, maybe a week ago I started a string wondering if anyone else feels at times like everybody hates them. Things have gotten a lot better with my latest drug mix, but everyday still has struggles, to recognize and stay on top of symptoms, to always be trying to change my thoughts and impulses, to staying true to the committment to take the best care of myself that I can. Overcoming my all or nothing tendency has been a tremendous battle. My past is peppered with A's and F's, and it is hard to forgive myself and not let my current endeavors be haunted by the ghosts of past failures. It makes me hyper-agitated or worried over any little or reasonable mistake. I also feel guilty about burdening the people still in my life, with my sensitivity and huge need for reassurance. I still feel the need to buy something, anything on hard days. There are just so many lonely moments, when I just want someone to talk with who understands. Making an appointment with a counselor is terrific and all, but my slot usually isn't when I need to talk to someone the most. I've tried twice to go to support groups and been disappointed. So, it is hard, but there are many of us out here with similar experiences and challenges, wanting to share and encourage. And I suppose, trite or not, things could always be worse. Or would we really want to be zombies experiencing no feelings? I hope you are feeling better after about things. And I am glad that you decided against stopping your medicines. I wonder if most people go through a phase or stage where they want to stop because they aren't sure if there really are BP?