is my anger normal?or is my relationship bad? - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

plainjayne · 02-08-2007, 03:12 PM

i have rapid cycling bi polar and my boyfriend of 1 year is becoming increasingly more difficult to cope with. i make sure i tell him as soon as i can when i am having a bad day and i am sure that makes him want to wind me up he laughs and says that he isnt winding me up and that its me winding myself up. is it me or him that is causing the problem? should he be more supportive or am i being the difficult one? i am finding it difficult to see things from his point of view as i feel he is keeping me ill. i just dont know if this is my illness or if i am just very intollerant.

bpd_bipolar · 02-09-2007, 09:04 AM

I used to be married to someone who didn't have any mental health issues (I had gotten married in 1998, which was 9 years ago, then I got divorced 5 years later).

Through the marriage with my highs and lows (I have bipolar and borderline personality disorder) there would be no real warnings and when there were that I could recognize and I was finally able to let him know and even after the doc diagnosed me and we got me on meds.......he thought it was all in my head, it was all fake.

So, first I would sit with him, when you are calm (by the way, are you on meds and seeing a doc for this?) and ask him what his thoughts are about your disease. Ask him his opinion on it, his take on it. Get his thoughts so you know where you stand with him.

Communication is important, very important.

After that, perhaps you should have him come into one of your appointments with you. Have him get info. from your doc so he can learn about what you have so it can better prepare him (although bipolar can never really be prepared for).

Now, I am with someone (have been for almost 4 years now) that also has bipolar and ADHD and we have an open, honest relationship. We talk, alot and try to let one another know before we have an attack of mania......but we pretty much know when it will happen before it does, I gather you kind of get used to it after a while (even though it doesn't make it easier to deal with, it still helps).

Oh k, sorry to babble, but I hope that I have helped a bit for you.

plainjayne · 02-09-2007, 09:43 AM

i think i am a very open and honest person and now i understand my illness(yes i am on meds) i make sure i tell my mum and my boyf as soon as i know that an 'episode is on its way. when i tell my boyf how i am feeling he just laughs it off and says i am over reacting and i should pull my socks up and stop feeling sorry for myself. i feel he is being completely immature, my boyf doesnt live with me and i wouldnt want to take him to any of my appointments as i feel that is way invading my privacy. i think that i am trying to save my relationship therefor being responsible and doing as much as i can. i have taken the time to get him leaflets and to sit down and discuss them with him surely that is enough and i am not sure that he even listens or has even read them properly.