does anyone else feel the same or other?
This came out of some frustrations with my family and their understanding of me. that is a totally long story, but here are some things that came out of the situation:
The feelings that I had when all that crap went down were something that I have never experienced before.
It is almost indescribable.
I can only say that is must be like a fire in your mind that you try to douse with alcohol, drugs, spending, cutting, gluttony, anger. Except every time you douse the fire, there is always an ember left burning. The fire continues to flare up and you keep dousing it, but it never goes away.
The fight tires you out, wears you down until you no longer know which way is up, what a normal existence is or the fact that you can get help, you can put the fire out.
This need to communicate these feelings to others comes out in music, writing, art. But, we are never really understood and this feeds the fire yet enhances the creativity.
I believe when you have no outlet for your thoughts and feelings that you can become mad living inside your own head.
My fire is speaking and having a busy brain
I am making slow progress, but I am exhausted. I will certainly never give up trying because I know what life should be like and if I donít achieve some kind of semblance of that, I will surely go mad.
Have a thoughtful day,