Hey all, I'm still super new here, but have a question! And it is an innocent question so try your best not to jump down my throat please. This board is obviously open to both bi-polar and family to bi-polar. Kind of like al-anon to alcoholics, right. I know it shouldn't make me feel bad, but its irritating to me when someone who isn't bi-polar makes comments on how a bi-polar should or shouldn't act. Or makes a blanket statement on what bi-polars needs to do. If it were as simple as doing all the correct things to make it managable then none of us would have a problem, would they. Bi-polar ISN"T the same as being an alcoholic or drug addict. Its thinking like that that makes mental illness sooooo misunderstood by people who dont know better. They think its a choice to act crazy, we brought the disorder down upon ourselves by choice somehow. I've seen that opinion on this board. I"m doing EVERTHING I can to manage this demon that I'll have to live with for the rest of my flippin life, and I still get crazy sometimes. I'm rambling now, so I'll sign off
Peace out
Last edited by sublime71137; 02-14-2007 at 11:09 AM.
I'm not sure I belong here, pretty sure I don't . I think this is a great place for support if your spouse or girlfriend or parent is bi-polar. Everybody needs to take their own advice and instead of complaining about what that bi-polar person has done to you, take responsibility for yourself and stop allowing yourself or your children to be abused. Nobody can MAKE you feel a certain way, you take on that emotion yourself. Bi-Polar sucks for anybody involved, but here that person seems to be made out to be the bad guy in every situation. Why can't they just take their meds and be normal? Maybe you all don't know as much about bi-polar as you think. Sorry, I'm ****** right now
Sublime, you made very valid points and I feel the same way you do. There should be a message board for family members and friends coping with the illness and we should have our own place to ask questions and vent. Its funny how people without the illness are quick to write about how a bipolar is ruining their lives, kids lives,how we can "get over it" etc. but they need to realize they are venting to a bunch of bipolars. That not only makes us feel bad about their situation but worse about ourselves and the things beyond our control.I hope you Don't leave this message board we need more people like you who are strong and give sound advice.
Welcome to this board I'm BP II with rapid cycling. Bipolar really does stink, but it is a reality to those of us who have it and it is life as we know it with no way of getting around it. Just impossible. This illness comes with many horrible things at times; however, it does not mean that one always will live their life in 'mania', 'depression', or a 'mixed state', causing a tremendous burden upon others. People can live and be normal, etc. It is a matter of each individual situation that makes the difference. Every person is unique, different, and responds to the illness in their own way. Some people respond while others don't. It is a hit or miss with attitudes, opinions, values, and what not.
You stated very well, what is truthful. There is no apology needed. Those who state there minds otherwise do not apologize for speaking outloud, as you should not feel obligated to do so as well. Do you understand where I am coming from? Do not hinder from this bb. There have been many who have been angry here before, ran away, etc. for fear of showing their true feelings or insecurities. I have done the same. And, came back. Just be yourself. It is okay.
Do not feel scared to speak freely here. Others speak their minds and voice their opinions about the illness as you have seen. It is just a matter of opinion, feeling of where one stands in the situation of the illness, and so forth. That is why everyone comes here. For one common purpose.
I hope you come back for a visit, and that you are not afraid to post again. Everyone here does understand. They all just come from different standpoints of the illness from their own situation. Every person has a story to tell; and it is always one of its own.
Take care of yourself
__________________
a loving heart is the truest wisdom
you know i do feel really bad for being bipolar and sometimes on here it make me feel worse but i dont know if its here or if its my bipolar making feel this way ahhhhhhh!!!!!! Tee
sublime, I dont think anyone will get upset with what you said. I do not have bp but I learn so much from both ones with it and those living with people with bp. I think its nice to have both on this board and I hope you will come to benefit from both sides because we all want the same thing basicially. Welcome.
Excellent post Sublime - I am new too, both to the board and to the illness (well to discovering, accepting and trying to treat). I noticed this too as I read through some of the posts and the same thing occurred to me that this illness is not the same as alchoholism and some of the posts seem to come across that way. I certainly don't see it that way - Me choosing to have a drink is not the same as having some neurons fire the wrong way in my brain which can happen even if I am taking meds and am in therapy, maybe I just haven't mastered something yet, or maybe my meds aren't right, maybe the illness is changing, progressing... maybe I am having a BAD DAY.
The feedback then from CoffeeGirl was then extremely helpful to me for how to take these posts and gave me some confidence for posting myself here. I am fine with having both bi-polars and non on the same board but I do see the need to have separate boards for both - there really is a different perspective, at the same time there is lots to be learned from each other - I have already have seen some things through some of the non-BP posts that have been very helpful to me personally and well then there were the 'other' posts.
Hey all, I'm still super new here, but have a question! And it is an innocent question so try your best not to jump down my throat please. This board is obviously open to both bi-polar and family to bi-polar. Kind of like al-anon to alcoholics, right. I know it shouldn't make me feel bad, but its irritating to me when someone who isn't bi-polar makes comments on how a bi-polar should or shouldn't act. Or makes a blanket statement on what bi-polars needs to do. If it were as simple as doing all the correct things to make it managable then none of us would have a problem, would they. Bi-polar ISN"T the same as being an alcoholic or drug addict. Its thinking like that that makes mental illness sooooo misunderstood by people who dont know better. They think its a choice to act crazy, we brought the disorder down upon ourselves by choice somehow. I've seen that opinion on this board. I"m doing EVERTHING I can to manage this demon that I'll have to live with for the rest of my flippin life, and I still get crazy sometimes. I'm rambling now, so I'll sign off
Wow, these were much different reactions than I expected, and thank you for the encouragment. I don't want to be misunderstood, I really do feel for the family and friends of those with BP. I know they need support and to sound off also. This is going to sound awful, and I know its not that simple, but sometimes what goes through my head when I read some of these posts is, I can't close the door and leave my BP behind, I don't have a choice. You, as a non-BP, do have a choice, even if its not an easy one. That statement doesn't include parents of BP children, thats an exception. Anyway, I don't want to get to rambling again. Thank you for letting me vent.
I can understand your frustrations and I know this disorder has no blanket fix for all. I have made several comparisons in the past to alcoholism and my only point was that both the BP and alcohlic must achieve a level of responsibility to manage there triggers and symptoms. Living with an alcoholic father for 25 years and then living with a BP wife for the last 8 years has certainly shown me that both conditions require acceptance and a level of personal responsibility to overcome or manage the symptoms of each. In no way was I saying that they are one in the same but the effects on love ones appears to be very similar from my experience. I have 4 children with my wife, so leaving my father behind was much easier than my wife.
We all have choices to make in life whether it is that of the BP or the non-BP. I left my father behind and now I'm leaving my BP wife behind. I made the choice of staying 8 years and what happened to me in those 8 years is my responsibility as I could have walked out anytime. I loved her and I stayed, needless to say it had a affect on me so in an attempt to get myself straight I have came to this board as a form of therapy. Sometimes I vent, but for the most part just try to help everyone understand the non-BP side and always give positive comments to the BP's here trying ever so hard to stay stable.
I've always commended the many BP's here in taking measures to help themselves cope with this very evil disorder. Of course, my un-medicated BP wife is no where near this board as she won't even accept her dx. Every situation is unique when it comes to how BP affects each individual and I only wish there was one pill for all that would all but erase the symptoms. There's not so we all come to this board in hopes to figure out the best way to handle it no matter what side of the isle we are on.
God Bless...........U&A
__________________
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference".
Last edited by Used&Abused; 02-14-2007 at 09:35 PM.
Dear Sublime,
My Son Is Bipolar 16 In Few Days And My Daughter Adhd 13. Right Now My Son After 3 Years Of Psy Hospitals, Med Changes, Doc Changes, Suicidal Attemps, Thoughts, Homicidal Too. He Is For Today Stable. He Takes Meds And Sees Docs. But Still Has Bad Days. Some Real Bad Some Ok. He Still Gets Depressed And Its Hard To Go To School Ect..... But I Love This Board Because I Believe My Son Is Doing Everything He Can To Help Himself Along With My Help As Mom. But I Try Not To Lable Or My Daughter, My Ex Is Bipolar But He Has Been Gone For 9years. I Dont Judge Anyone And I Dont Want To Be Judged. I Just Want To Talk To People Who See The Great In My Kids Like Me. I Very Proud Of You And My Son Who Is Doing All They Can Do.
So I Hope This Restores Faith To You That I Am Here For Your Support And Input To Help Me With My Son. So Thank You.
Mslainie
Hi sublime, and everyone else who has posted,
I am new here also and have felt the same way. I feel like I do take responsibility for my BP - I attend appointments with my psychiatrist and my psychologist, either weekly fortnightly or monthly depending how I am travelling. I take my medications and put up with all the horrible side effects as well as putting up with this awful disorder! I hate all this - I hate all these appointments, I hate having to share all this personal stuff with them, but I do it so that I can better control this BP.
I permanently feel guilty about the effect I have on my family. And sometimes after reading the posts from non-BP's I feel even more guilty.
But it is also a good insight for me to read their posts as my husband does not talk a great deal (one of those men who don't talk about their feelings).
Anyway sublime, it seems there are many of us who understand where you are coming from - you have had some great comments from the others to your post.
Keep coming back - I think we all need all the support we can get!
loopylu
Hi, Sublime I am glad that you felt comfortable enough to express your feelings in regard to how you feel about coming here. I personally apologize for anything that I may have said or lacked to say to anybody here whos is Bipolar that may have been hurtful, for that was never my intention.
For me, a non-BPer, this forum has been a lifesaver and my lifeline to not only helping my daughter through the diagnostic phase but throughout her treatment and working towards stability. It certainly is not an easy road for any of us to take whether we are a BPer or a non BPer. But still we are on the same road and there is really no way to separate our pathes or journey because whether we have the disorder or are a loved one or friend to somebody who has it, we are all in need of support in having to learn from one another on how exactly it feels to be in one another's shoes.
I personally have received an abundant amount of information from BPers here that enables me to understand what exactly my daughter is facing or will have to face having this disorder. And I am sure as BPers you have been able to see the other side of BP and how it affects the ones you love. It certainly isn't an easy road to travel for either one of us but we ARE on the same road and I believe that walking together on it has many more benefits than disadvantages.
I don't think that anyone here is here to hurt another person, rather, each of us from each spectrum are seeking out the same. We all are here for support and to acquire more knowledge whether it be to help ourselves understand Bipolar OR what a person experiences when they are in a close relationship with somebody who is Bipolar whether it be in the capacity of a friend, parent, spouse, child, or any other relative.
The beauty of this forum is that we can each learn from one another. Let's face it, it isn't a pretty picture from either side but working together to better understand one another's perspective and feelings, I feel, far outweighs any downsides of it all. AND to be able to come here and express or clear up any misunderstandings is just icing on the cake for everybody here.
I would never be able to benefit from a separate forum, for I need to know, in order to understand what is going on with my daughter and to better help her, what it feels like to be Bipolar and I certainly have no idea not having the disorder myself but do have the wonderful opportunity to come here and learn so much from those who are walking in my daughter's shoes.
So....let us open our hearts to knowing that nobody comes here with the intention to hurt another person....we are all here for a common purpose and that is to learn and understand more about Bipolar so that we can either help ourselves, or somebody who is dear to us, to come out more stable and rise above Bipolar by doing everything we can to help ourselves and others.
That is the beauty of this forum and it is wonderful that you, Sublime, can come here, just like me, to speak your mind and share your deepest hurts and fears and know that there is always somebody willing to listen, share, and make that journey with you reminding you that you are never alone in all of this.
I hope that I have not said anything to offend anybody for that certainly never was or never will be my intention. And I know that I speak for many others here.
((((HUGS)))) to all ~ Goody
Last edited by goody2shuz; 02-15-2007 at 05:22 AM.
There were a lot of replies to this post and I didn't read all of them throughly so if I am repeating something already said, sorry I'm not trying to seal your material! (just kidding)
I absolutely understand what it is like to listen to people treat me as if I should just pick myself up by the boot straps and get it together. And sometimes on this board non bipolar people write with that attitude and it feels shaming but there is some good you can do by staying on here and answering their posts....
Give them information about what it is like from your experience, in good people knowledge turns into understanding when they are done feeling the feelings. As well that us with bipolar could learn from what they are saying, learn how our disorder effects those we love....maybe teach us better explain to those that don't understand....working towards curing the ignorance people have of disorders such as this.
Just some thoughts....I definately hear your frustration though.
Last edited by MTB2; 02-15-2007 at 09:16 PM.
Reason: spelling
This board is obviously open to both bi-polar and family to bi-polar. Kind of like al-anon to alcoholics, right. I know it shouldn't make me feel bad, but its irritating to me when someone who isn't bi-polar makes comments on how a bi-polar should or shouldn't act. Or makes a blanket statement on what bi-polars needs to do. If it were as simple as doing all the correct things to make it managable then none of us would have a problem, would they. Bi-polar ISN"T the same as being an alcoholic or drug addict. Its thinking like that that makes mental illness sooooo misunderstood by people who dont know better. They think its a choice to act crazy, we brought the disorder down upon ourselves by choice somehow.
I've seen that opinion on this board. I"m doing EVERTHING I can to manage this demon that I'll have to live with for the rest of my flippin life, and I still get crazy sometimes. I'm rambling now, so I'll sign off
I'm BP II with rapid cycling. Bipolar really does stink, but it is a reality to those of us who have it and it is life as we know it with no way of getting around it. Just impossible. This illness comes with many horrible things at times; however, it does not mean that one always will live their life in 'mania', 'depression', or a 'mixed state', causing a tremendous burden upon others. People can live and be normal, etc. It is a matter of each individual situation that makes the difference. Every person is unique, different, and responds to the illness in their own way. Some people respond while others don't. It is a hit or miss with attitudes, opinions, values, and what not. 
Just be yourself. It is okay. 
