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Old 02-26-2007, 11:01 AM   #1
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Llama HB User
Are people with bp emotionally imature?

Is this generally true? I hate to admit it, but I think that I am. I can't sustain any relationships because of this. What can change this? Therapy?

 
Old 02-26-2007, 12:05 PM   #2
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Re: Are people with bp emotionally imature?

I honestly think the exact opposite is true. We, as bipolar, know as perhaps few others do the severity of mistakes made under emotional moodswings. We realise that with every good emotion, there is a bad one and we appreciate the value of stability. Yes, when having episodes, we could be classified as emotionally immature because we have little to no control over ourselves, but when not suffering from an episode, we have knowledge that few possess. Sometimes it's just a matter of tapping into that knowledge because we are so caught up in preventing the next episode that we forget, or perhaps never learned, to control normal emotions. I do believe therapy can help, though. It's probably your best bet.
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Old 02-26-2007, 12:14 PM   #3
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Re: Are people with bp emotionally imature?

Hi, Llama Before my 15 year old daughter was even diagnosed, during her first two hospitalizations the therapists explained to us that she had an emotional handicap which he defined as emotional immaturity. He told us that for many involved with somebody with this, it would be difficult to see because when somebody has a broken leg we know to be careful and that they need to be accommodated for their handicap. But with emotional immaturity the same accommodations need to be in place but it is difficult for most people to see that because unlike a broken leg that one can physically see, emotional immaturity is something that cannot be seen.

I would also be interested in what others have to say about this. My guess is that therapy is the way to go....I know in my daughter's case, she has ongoing problems with relationships whether it be with family members, friends, and others. And I think that so long as you are aware that there is a problem and want to fix it that you CAN but it probably is going to take someone professionally trained to be able to help you through it.

I applaud you for coming to this realization....my daughter still has yet to define this as a problem even though I have pointed it out to her many times. I am hoping that she will see it for herself so that she can learn how to work her way through it or at least talk about it with her therapist. Otherwise.....I see much conflict and pain in her future.

I hope that others will chime in and offer you their point of view on this and I will be eager to see what they have to say as well. Great thread, Llama!!

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody

 
Old 02-26-2007, 01:24 PM   #4
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Re: Are people with bp emotionally imature?

Well, my son who was originally diagnosed with bipolar is very emotionally immature..

 
Old 02-26-2007, 02:52 PM   #5
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Re: Are people with bp emotionally imature?

hi Llama

i hate to admit but in my case i know that i am very emotionally immature. i don't know if everyone with bp is though. i haven't done any research on this subject.

therapy can only help

wishing you luck

 
Old 02-26-2007, 04:03 PM   #6
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Re: Are people with bp emotionally imature?

My husband is very emotionally immature yet a brilliant man.

 
Old 02-27-2007, 05:15 AM   #7
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Re: Are people with bp emotionally imature?

I agree with Lhama. When having an episode our behaviour is very emotionaly immature but that is the illness not us. When we are rational we think more deeply and maturely than the normal person. We have great insight and can emphasis with others in a way that normals usually cant. There is definatly a link between genius/madness. Not that I consider myself a genius. But you know what I mean..I personaly am extremely creative and imaginative and i dont think i would have that to this high degree without the bp. If only i had the energy to go with it i could write that book, or paint the painting that would ofcourse make me millions because of the bp creativeness.

 
Old 02-27-2007, 05:25 AM   #8
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Re: Are people with bp emotionally imature?

Quote:
Originally Posted by goody2shuz View Post
Hi, Llama Before my 15 year old daughter was even diagnosed, during her first two hospitalizations the therapists explained to us that she had an emotional handicap which he defined as emotional immaturity. He told us that for many involved with somebody with this, it would be difficult to see because when somebody has a broken leg we know to be careful and that they need to be accommodated for their handicap. But with emotional immaturity the same accommodations need to be in place but it is difficult for most people to see that because unlike a broken leg that one can physically see, emotional immaturity is something that cannot be seen.....

......I hope that others will chime in and offer you their point of view on this and I will be eager to see what they have to say as well. Great thread, Llama!!

(((HUGS))) ~ Goody
Hi Liama & Goody :

Is this the old story of " what comes first,the egg or the chicken ?"
That is to say, is emotional immaturity caused by BPD;or does BPD cause
emotional immaturity ?

Perhaps, we might look at this question with Goody's example of people seeing the needs of a person with a broken leg. "Seeing is beleiving"
When a BPer has an episode,and other people "see" that episode (emotional immaturity);would it still be "Seeing is believing ?"

I'm not trying to double talk here. Sometimes, it is just important to know that part of the symptoms and signs of BPD is emotional immaturity And I will go on to say, that's ok to show emotional
immaturity.

It really comes down,than, for the BPer to accept responsibllity for their own actions.......That is to say.......emotional immaturity.

Goody..I hope my chimes sound ...somewhat informative.

Oh, and sharonamy,is taking complete resonsibility for your "creative abilities" a sign and symptom of BPD that bags for control of your lower energy;so that you can produce at that imaginative level ?

Carry On..

Eyes

Last edited by twoeyez; 02-27-2007 at 05:44 AM.

 
Old 02-27-2007, 07:45 AM   #9
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Re: Are people with bp emotionally imature?

Great point, Eyes.....I don't think it is a matter of which came first in terms of emotional immaturity or BP. The important thing is that we realize that Emotional Immaturity (EI) is part of BP whether it started out as a symptom or continues to be a symptom.

As somebody rather new to all of this...a question I seem to have is will somebody who is BP ALWAYS have emotional immaturity or is it something that can be grown out of as they are treated and reach stability???? In other words....if Erin is emotionally immature now will she always be or is it something that she will be able to catch up with as she works through things in therapy.

In Erin it presented as a symptom and remains to be one. She is highly functional as far as school, grades, somewhat with responsibilities as every teen is , in other words doing things when she feels like it!!! However, when it comes to handling social situations and dilemmas that come her way or interpreting other peoples words and actions that is where I see her exhibiting emotional immaturity the most. Will that always be the case even with the right meds and therapy????

Don't worry, Eyes, your chimes are ALWAYS informative!!!

As far as the "seeing is believing" part, I guess it is far easier to have empathy for a person with a cast on his leg seeing him hobbling around but less so for somebody who is not able to handle the words and actions of another person without being offended or resorting to anger, crying, and misinterpretation of something that was said but was not meant to be interpreted the way in which somebody who is emotionally immature would.....see, you are not the only one who seems to be double talking here, huh, Eyes????

Anyway...I mean no offense, just having a good time trying to understand how a BPer thinks and what in their experience may help them through the EI part of BP.

Once again,....this is a great topic and I am sure that many would benefit from learning more about emotional immaturity and it's impact on somebody with BP and those who love them.

(((((HUGS)))))) ~ Goody

 
Old 02-27-2007, 11:25 AM   #10
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Re: Are people with bp emotionally imature?

Dear Eyes, Eh, what?? Sorry, Im not quite sure what youre saying here. Must be thick. Appreciate your insight but dont get it??

 
Old 02-27-2007, 11:38 AM   #11
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Re: Are people with bp emotionally imature?

sharonamy I am with you on that one - must be me being emotionally immature but I found those particular comments totally patronising ??

 
Old 02-27-2007, 11:44 AM   #12
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Re: Are people with bp emotionally imature?

Quote:
Originally Posted by loopylu View Post
sharonamy I am with you on that one - must be me being emotionally immature but I found those particular comments totally patronising ??

 
Old 02-27-2007, 11:48 AM   #13
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Re: Are people with bp emotionally imature?

Hi Loopy, yes, thanks for that. I was hoping it wasnt patronising because i cant really cope with horrible comments at the moment. But it did seem to come across that way, even if I didnt understand it. When I mentioned my creativeness I wasnt trying to be big headed or anything, I understand this is a good part of bp that many or most experience. I was just trying to point out our good points and potential, and trying not to focus on the immature emotional side of things.........now i feel really peed off and want to lay on the floor and kick my legs, all because of one misunderstood or very understood !! and not liking it !! ignorant comment. ggrrrrrrrr someone pass me a dummy quick!!

 
Old 02-27-2007, 12:04 PM   #14
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Re: Are people with bp emotionally imature?

Hey, gals....before you go off on the dummy I am sure that EYES will be back with a response. I know EYES for sometime now and what I know of him is that he never says anything offensive or hurtful.....he has much insight and speaks metaphorically which some do not fully understand which may be the case here. I must say, that I myself cannot really decipher quite what he meant, but I can assure you that he meant no offense here girls

I will be interested in what Eyes has to say but in the meantime I wanted to put out the fire that may be igniting Back girls and hold onto your hats for just a little while longer!!! Hurry up, Eyes, I can't wait to see how you get yourself out of this one!!! Hehehehehehehehe

(((((HUGS))))) ~ Goody

 
Old 02-27-2007, 12:06 PM   #15
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Re: Are people with bp emotionally imature?

I am hoping that perhaps we just misunderstood the comments.
Anyways, it's not worth getting worked up over hey. (maybe both our dummies will land together somewhere between Oz and the UK!)
I personally don't think of myself as being emotionally immature. Even when dealing with an episode. I would like to see a non-BPer deal with an episode with their head totally screwed up, and then say we are emotionally immature.
I think that for those discussing their young children - then yes this is probably so. But as a 37 year old who has dealt with BP for some time now I definitely don't consider myself emotionally immature.
Paige1989 posted:
Quote:
I honestly think the exact opposite is true. We, as bipolar, know as perhaps few others do the severity of mistakes made under emotional moodswings. We realise that with every good emotion, there is a bad one and we appreciate the value of stability. Yes, when having episodes, we could be classified as emotionally immature because we have little to no control over ourselves, but when not suffering from an episode, we have knowledge that few possess. Sometimes it's just a matter of tapping into that knowledge because we are so caught up in preventing the next episode that we forget, or perhaps never learned, to control normal emotions.
I have to agree with alot of what Paige1989 posted: Plus I also think that BPers are very intuitive, and can easily empathise with other people and their different problems (BPers or not). (as posted by sharonamy)
Hoping that my comments won't start out a full on war here, but I do feel that comments made by EYESTWO22 were very patronising:
Quote:
Oh, and sharonamy,is taking complete resonsibility for your "creative abilities" a sign and symptom of BPD that bags for control of your lower energy;so that you can produce at that imaginative level ?

Carry On..
Also, such a generalised comment as this:
Quote:
It really comes down,than, for the BPer to accept responsibllity for their own actions.......That is to say.......emotional immaturity.

 
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