Encourging Men to participate more ...Ladies are welcome. - Bipolar Disorder Message Board

twoeyez · 03-15-2007, 09:05 AM

Well.. I have been thinking about this for a very long time.

It occured to me that about 95% of all Threads and Posts are from the Ladies. (that's OK).

The other 5% is from : Uued&Abused,EryFlynn,Michael178,Paulgarr ett,and Mudhound (Bless Him). And Myself.

My point,here is this...
It seem that us men need to support each other more. Maybe we need our own little group. Yes.we think and react different then the Ladies do. They communicate on day to day issues. We,men, seem to tell the facts,and try to go on to resolve our problems with BPD. We do this when we respond to you Ladies,too.

So... I will open this Thread up to all the Men (Only 5 that I count in the last 3 months).
And ..To all the Ladies (To many to name)

Men,Look foward to your responces...
Ladies... As Goody says...."Chime In Here"...we need your comments and support.....tooooo

Help me to ..Carry On..
And.. as U&A always says....God Bless

Eyes

michael178 · 03-15-2007, 09:25 AM

I try to have certain rules for myself in posting. Of course, I break my own rules. otherwise it would not be fun to have them. But I try not to be a doctor, to tell people what drugs they should take etc. I don't know enough about drugs to it anyway. And I try to be as factual as I can, to relay what I've gotten from reading on the subject or from talking to knowledgeable sources.
the other thing is that I am not bipolar, so I am not one of the soldiers fighting their disease, I am just a water carrier.
And I am an old guy, 66, with a son living with me wife and I who is bipolar. I have a fatal disease that has eaten away about half of my brain, so I am familiar which brain fog, forgetting etc. This disease though affects my vision, my balance, my ability to swallow, to talk and a lot of other things.
I am a regular on other boards and like to contribute the best I can. My one complaint about people who post is that they take their own experiences and think that that experience somehow applies to others. I applaud the cheerleaders and sympathizers but am not one of them nor do I want to be.

ErylFlynn · 03-15-2007, 09:44 AM

I agree men need to be more involved, I should have been more involved from the start in her therapy and if she gives me another chance I will. Sadly right now I am not with her, and just trying to understand, and to learn. If we get back together I will likely be a regular her til the doors close or I pass on. It is nice to get some insight into how some one with Bipolar Disorder thinks and feels, and nice to hear from others that love some one dealing with the illness.

I agree with Michael, I don't want to tell people what to take or not to take, but encourage them to learn and talk to their doctor. And if their doctor can't give them good answers to consider a second opinion. I feel you need a good relationship to work well with them. I do know that from experience, I had some mental illness issues when I was a child, that I was lucky were curable, and that I got that help I needed. Was a long hard road for me, my parents pushed me off to get help from others and blamed me. This is another reason I won't just walk away on my love. I know what it is like to be blamed and left hanging by yourself. If we get together I am going to have a long talk with her, and tell her what I went through, the dark dirty details I never told any one. From listening to a few people talk about their disorder, I think it might help her understand that I can sympathize more than she might think.

Also any help in opening communication between her and I, and rekindling the love are always welcome. I am hoping she is in class tonight and in a good mood, returning her book on bipolar, and showing her how far in I am might be a good start. I am on page 182 of Taming Bipolar Disorder by Lori Oliwenstein. I also have books on order.

Sorry if I rambled a bit. I do tend to agree we men do come at things different, and I think that is also why we tend to naturally be the worst at supporting some one with Bipolar. We want to fix it, and that can't be done. It has to be nurtured, warmed, held, and comforted.

goody2shuz · 03-15-2007, 10:11 AM

Okay, Goody here as requested, ready to report to duty.

Yes , I am guilty as charged....I come here and I get advice and I offer just as much. I am no doctor, nor am I Bipolar, but I AM fighting the same fight as I try to find the stability for my daughter. It is a nasty and grueling fight, and as a mother a very difficult one. I am fighting twice a hard knowing that this is the time I have to set the foundation of stability for my daughter so that she can continue to fight this for the rest of her life.

Anyway....I have learned here from others and have spent an abundance of time researching and reading and gathering as much information as I can about Bipolar. I do this mainly to help my daughter as her mom and greatest advocate to finding the stability that she needs. And I do it knowing that I am fighting against an hourglass of time that lessens each day as she approaches her 18th birthday. And as I travel this road I seem to have met many more here who are either fighting the same battle for themselves or for somebody that they love. If there is something that I have experienced firsthand or read about that may be helpful in that fight I share it. And if there is something somebody else has to share that may help me I grab onto it.

That is the beauty of this board....we come here seeking knolwedge, comfort, support and the gift of knowing that even through cyberspace there are others who are walking in our two shoes or in the shoes of the one that we love & care about.

I am here to learn about BP from both perspectives.....from the one who is afflicted with the disorder so that I could better understand what it is that my daughter is feeling AND as a non-BPer who struggles to support and live with somebody who has BP. For me it is a double battle so to speak,

I will be the first to admit that my posts are somewhat wordy but I am a woman of the heart and soul who offers whatever I have whether it be love, compassion, knowledge, prayers or even a (((HUG))), whatever it may be to make another human being who is hurting, suffering, scared, or just plain tired and give them some hope or perhaps share some experience or knowledge that I have. And selfishly, I receive the same.

Anyway, Eyes....this is a great thread and I will be happy to be a willing and active participant but I cannot promise that my fingers will be any less apt to tap on these keys, however, I can promise to do all that I have described above for you and anybody else who frequents this board.

When you start a thread, Eyes, it is always full of hope and faith the two things each of us are looking for here.

I am glad that you have your male thread and so graciously invited us ladies to be an active part of it. I am hoping that it will attract more of the male posters who are light on the fingers so to speak.

(((HUGS))) to all ~ Goody

(ooops I did it again!!!

)

tsohl · 03-15-2007, 10:17 AM

Well, just like EYES so wisely stated, "we think and act different than the ladies do."

In the first 4 posts, this has been confirmed already!!

Good idea, EYES.

You guys carry on.

Tsohl